The Grassy Troll

I live in a house with 4 other people. One of my newest roommates is a male, who has dated another roommate of mine for about two years. This male, A, does absolutely nothing around the house. He doesn't clean common areas and has not even attempted to cut the grass. Our backyard is of a substantial size and needs maintenence. The grass had gotten so high I was afraid small children would think of our house as "that house to avoid on Halloween and god forbid our baseball rolls into that yard."The grass had not been cut in 5 weeks and the only reason it got cut then was because my Dad finally got fed up and volunteered to do it. Now, before when we had a different male roommate J, he would do it with no complaints. But A is such a wussy boy. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY CANT YOU CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING TO THE HOUSE! Even my neighbor asked me one night why A hasn't cut the grass and all I could say is that A is a troll and worthless. I've asked him to do it and I explained to him that I really don't enjoy having to use a machete just to get through my yard to the front door. The whole situation got me very angry so I called my Dad again and asked him to come cut the grass, which is what he did last night. I have the best Dad in the world. To show my appreciation I decided to make his favorite - oatmeal raisin cookies. And by make I mean buy. But whatever.

So when my Dad came over last night, all of my roommates were in the kitchen and cooking/eating. I informed them that my Dad was doing the yard. One says, "Oh that's great." The words "thank" or "you" or "nice" or "appreciate" did not come out of anyone's mouth. I stood there for a second while my blood pressure was rising and I finally said, "Ya know you should really thank him for doing this." Finally they get the hint and thank him. Why are my roommates such asshats?? They are all very Type B which means they don't give a shit about anything. I'm very Type A - I'm responsible and think that taking care of the yard is essential.

So why don't I just cut the grass myself? Well I'm not really a total princess girly girl, but growing up my parents never made me cut the grass. That was always a job for the boys, along with taking out the trash, car work, and killing big bugs. Is this sexist? Yes. I don't care because I know that there were other things around the house that I was required to do and I contributed accordingly. Does this mean I will never agree to cut the grass or change my oil? No. It just means that if there is a guy who obviously enjoys being a man and is willing to cut the grass for me then so be it. I know I can't force my personal preferences on A and make him cut the grass just because he's a guy, but that's the least he could do for the household. Am I being too unreasonable??

Later that night I was on the phone with Malibu Ken and told him about the yard. He thought that I was being spoiled by my dad and that I should just cut the grass myself. But then I explained to him the whole boys job/ v. girls job and that I did my best to show my Dad how grateful I was for him cutting our grass. I know that I am perfectly capable of cutting the grass, I just choose not to. And now it's a matter of principle because I take care of so many other things around the house. I always take out the trash, make sure bills are paid, unclog toilets, fix drains, vacuum, etc. Malibu Ken slowly started seeing it my way :)

So this ties into my theory about what I want from a man (I've had this theory for years). I've gone to college and started a great PR career and view myself as independent. But at the end of the day I still want someone who makes me feel safe and secure. I want someone I can trust and someone that can somehow live up to the standards my father has set.

So basically I want someone who can mow the shit out of my yard. Make it look better than the ninth hole at Pinehurst. I want someone who will know what's going on underneath the hood of my car (hehe). I want someone who will show the shingles who's the boss. Grill a mean T-Bone steak. And yes, it would be nice if they had a regular 9-5 job and career aspirations as well. Again, is this too unreasonable? Also, if the guy has expectations of me that I agree with, then I will oblige. There are things I can do well that he might appreciate. Like, I dunno, ordering stuff online and programming On Demand? Just kidding. But these are just my personal preferences and I don't expect anyone to agree with them. But at least I can say I know what I want.