Seeking a Certified Skank

While taking a "break" from work I came across this Poet Laurete who posted on CL for a "Skank Friendshp":

"When I say certified you must have attended and recieved a diploma from The Institute of Skank Development. I hear they are the best of the skank educational institutions. You must sleep with many men via CL, the locals bars and pubs, nighclubs, university and church etc. Moreover, you must always use the line, I "never do this". But "I felt right about you". Your makeup must be plastered on with a paint brush, jeans too tight and low enough to show your lower waist tattoo. Your tan must be closely related to the color orange and finally, your vocabulary must include terms, phrases or designations like, "that was weird," "I had a stalker once", "I'm a hottie and you know it" .....Please have your notarized certificate available when we meet. Wear skankish perfume and be ready to part-tay. Please no haters on my desire to hang out with a SKANK"

He heard that The Institute of Skank Development was the best??!?! Not so fast...I hear the graduates of the University of Texas (Austin) really know how to skank it up!

Seeking a Certified Skank for Friendship (CL)