Worst.Pick-up.Line.Ever.
Last night I got a chance to catch up with my friend and sorority sista-4-life, Mara, who just back from a sweet vacation in Nice, France. She lives in Cap Hill so we decided to head out to the usual haunts - Cap Lounge, Hawk N Dove, Pour House, etc. We arrive at Cap Lounge and I hadn't even flipped my Corona over to dissipate the lime before I see a guy leering at me. It's nice to be noticed, but I couldnt decide if he was cute....He came over and introduced himself as Bob from Minnesota. Great, another transplanted Midwesterner. But he gave good conversation and he is in the same field as I am. Everything is going swell, until this exchange occurs:
Bob: Um, you see that buddy of mine over there. Well he's very high up in the government ranks and he has this thing he invited me to. I need a date. You wouldn't be interested in attending a state dinner tomorrow night?
Me: Uh, excuse me a state dinner?
Bob: Yeah, I mean I don't really know the details but I would love to take you.
Me: Even though you just met me 15 mins ago...Sure. That would be great.....do you know where and when? I mean, what am I going to wear?????
Bob: Well....I mean I don't 100% for sure know that we will go. We're kinda on standby. Last time we went to one of these it was in a small room somewhere in the State Department and we only went in because someone cancelled or something like that. So I guess we have a 80% chance of going. But you should still come.
Me: I don't want to not make plans with friends tommorrow and then not go to the dinner.
Bob: Well if we don't go we can just go get coffee and dinner. I would really love to get coffee with you. Perhaps we should not plan on going to this dinner and get coffee instead.
Me: Uh....yeah...come to think of it I may already have dinner plans.....here's my card give me a call.....uh..um...gotta run. Call me!! (frantic running to the bathroom)
OK, for starters, this guy was drunk and tried to pull the 'ol state dinner line. Only in freakin DC. Do not start off by trying to impress me with your friend's high government job (which is so cliche) and then switch completely and try to bogart my evening. If you wanted to get coffee, you should have just asked. Then, to get my hopes up for a second that I could get all dressed up and eat off of Clinton era china was mean. And these state dinners are rather formal and require RSVPs and what-not. You can't just show up in an Oscar de la Renta dress with pearls and tell them "a friend of this irish guy from Minnesota" invited you.
So when I get to work this morning I notice 3 missed calls on my work #. A number I don't recognize appears 3 times between 10:30 PM and 12AM. A quick scan of the cranial area code roledex confirmed it was a Minnesota number, so drunk Bob must have called my work # that's on my business card. too bad I wasn't at work at 12AM jackass. I called the # back. Now its almost 5 PM and no call from him. Maybe I'm being pretentious? Maybe he found another girl to take? I would pay to see that poor girls face as she's sitting all dolled up inside a Starbucks and sucking on a Caramel Machiato.
Bob: Um, you see that buddy of mine over there. Well he's very high up in the government ranks and he has this thing he invited me to. I need a date. You wouldn't be interested in attending a state dinner tomorrow night?
Me: Uh, excuse me a state dinner?
Bob: Yeah, I mean I don't really know the details but I would love to take you.
Me: Even though you just met me 15 mins ago...Sure. That would be great.....do you know where and when? I mean, what am I going to wear?????
Bob: Well....I mean I don't 100% for sure know that we will go. We're kinda on standby. Last time we went to one of these it was in a small room somewhere in the State Department and we only went in because someone cancelled or something like that. So I guess we have a 80% chance of going. But you should still come.
Me: I don't want to not make plans with friends tommorrow and then not go to the dinner.
Bob: Well if we don't go we can just go get coffee and dinner. I would really love to get coffee with you. Perhaps we should not plan on going to this dinner and get coffee instead.
Me: Uh....yeah...come to think of it I may already have dinner plans.....here's my card give me a call.....uh..um...gotta run. Call me!! (frantic running to the bathroom)
OK, for starters, this guy was drunk and tried to pull the 'ol state dinner line. Only in freakin DC. Do not start off by trying to impress me with your friend's high government job (which is so cliche) and then switch completely and try to bogart my evening. If you wanted to get coffee, you should have just asked. Then, to get my hopes up for a second that I could get all dressed up and eat off of Clinton era china was mean. And these state dinners are rather formal and require RSVPs and what-not. You can't just show up in an Oscar de la Renta dress with pearls and tell them "a friend of this irish guy from Minnesota" invited you.
So when I get to work this morning I notice 3 missed calls on my work #. A number I don't recognize appears 3 times between 10:30 PM and 12AM. A quick scan of the cranial area code roledex confirmed it was a Minnesota number, so drunk Bob must have called my work # that's on my business card. too bad I wasn't at work at 12AM jackass. I called the # back. Now its almost 5 PM and no call from him. Maybe I'm being pretentious? Maybe he found another girl to take? I would pay to see that poor girls face as she's sitting all dolled up inside a Starbucks and sucking on a Caramel Machiato.
posted by VP of Dior at 2:49 PM
