Monday, August 15, 2005

Back Then They Didn't Want Me, Now I'm 23 Bitches All On Me

Thank you Mike Jones for the lyrical inspiration in the title.

And bigger thanks to everyone who made my weekend so fun. Turning 23 wasn't as bad as I feared.

Saturday was the big day and I started it off right with massive cleaning of my house, then tax-free shopping in Georgetown. By 5 PM my friend C and I were a little parched and headed over to a friends apartment for drinks. Debauchery begins. At the apartment we made Lynchburg Lemonade slushies and played Texas Hold 'Em. I wasn't doing too bad with the game, but oh, my friends we weren't playing with money. The chips equaled shots and one bad hand and a raise resulted in 2 shots of Jager before 6 PM. By the time I got home to get ready I was buzzed and was having difficulties showering...I stumbled out of the shower and realized this was going to be an awesome night.

Pre-gaming started at my house around 8:30 PM and then we all took cabs over to Local 16. First thing - the rooftop was 180 degrees. I had curled my hair, but after being outside for 5 minutes I was a hot mess.

As my friends started arriving and I got more drunk, the shrieking began. Thinking back I remember being loud and jumping up and down whenever I spotted someone. And I was doing the sorority shriek of choice - "oh-myyy-goddd!" I had A LOT to drink people. Now I was told this later by Malibu Ken(who agreed to be my escort and "Kept" man for the evening!), but apparently some people on the rooftop were making fun of me for screaming whenever I spotted a friend. Whatever - suck it. Anyway, as soon as Malibu Ken started giving them dirty looks they shut right up.

Kathryn arrived in fine form, looking not a day over 26 ;) Later the Milkman arrived. I could tell I was really buzzed because I insisted on having the Milkman's hat to strike a pose.

What the fuck am I doing??? Walking ad for Dove Deodorant I guess.

The Milkman, Me, Kathryn

And then the fairest of them all, my wino-partner-in-crime Indecent Offense showed up. More shrieking. It was very apparent that there were some ladies there with very nice boobs. So I documented the occasion.

From left to right: Indecent Offense's bountiful bosom, Kathryn's captivating cleavage, and my delightful decolletage. *Note - this picture was not cropped to remove faces. I took it solely with the intent of capturing breasts, and that's what I got. If you ask, you shall receive.

Also, my friend J's cousin was celebrating her birthday and we exchanged celebratory shrieks. She was turning 29 and made sure to tell me that I was terribly young, but that we should hang out. So we rocked the rooftop all night and before I knew it they were shutting it down. So of course we moved it inside and danced hardcore. I allegedly fell on the dance floor. I cannot confirm or deny this. I also allegedly put my hair in pigtails because my mane was a hot, frizzy mess anyway. Unfortunately I can confirm this.

We ended up staying at Local 16 for quite some time, and finally headed home around 3 am. It was a wonderful evening and I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends. Malibu Ken was the consumate gentleman, from giving me a great cookbook for my gift to watching out for me, I was very happy and cared for. Malibu Ken and I retired for the evening for our first "sleepover." I'll just leave it at that. But all in all an amazing night!


Blogger indecentoffense said...

way to chop me out of the last picture....if i look bad i understand. if not, then wtf. i guess its ok since it was your bday and all....haha....too much crazy fun!!!!!

9:55 PM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

I always miss the good parties!!

9:57 PM  
Blogger RHB said...

Fun Fun Fun Fun

11:39 PM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

I SO would have been in the boob picture! Boo!

We must go out again soon doll!

12:21 AM  
Blogger The Senator said...

Happy B'day, VP....sorry I couldn't make it. Maybe we'll see you tomorrow at the Beacon Bar & Grill???

9:15 AM  
Blogger NY-ERR said...

good times, all of it! nice tits!!

9:20 AM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

indecent - you looked wonderful as always. we've already discussed the pic and next time i will def show your beautiful face.

senator - thank you. wednesday sounds great. what time?

milkman - thanks for the compliment. ya know, "tits" is one of those rare words that i cannot bring myself to say outloud...

10:20 AM  
Blogger Adam said...

Birthdays rock.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

"Turning 23 was not as bad as I thought."

I can't believe you just said that. One day you will give your left tit to be 23 again.

3:20 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

No you are wrong sir, I will not be giving my left tit to be 23 again. Did you not see the picture of my rack?? Those babies are too nice to give up.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Agreed - just wait until they are resting on the floor 10-15 years and a few kids from goes by faster than you think.

4:05 PM  
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4:38 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

hmmm anon. in your blogging baby study hall do you have any articles on how i can get away with not breast feeding my kids so my boobs don't droop????? Phil seems to think this is inevitable, but I beg to differ.

4:39 PM  
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4:50 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

There's only one problem with the boob pic. Ya' know what that is? Can you guess? Happy birthday....Release the twins!

5:43 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Happy B-day VP...sorry I couldn't make it. I was busy "entertaining" Phillip that night.
Looks like you had tons o' fun!

6:10 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Nah, it doesn't happen all the time.

I'm just jealous because you're young and I'm old. Or feel old.

8:30 PM  
Blogger JB said...

You go, witcha baaad Leonine self!!

9:36 AM  

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