Monday, August 29, 2005

Upgrade/Downgrade - VMAs Edition

* P.Diddy hosting – quite boring and he looked like a thugged out-amped on red bull and vodka-fake ass Amadeus when he was “directing” the orchestra during the Biggie tribute. And did anyone see his shirt that said, “New Negro”? WTF? Please don’t try to take back words that are offensive and turn it into cool street gear. – DOWNGRADE

* Performances by Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, The Killers, and Kanye – UPGRADE

* 50 Cent/ Fat Joe fist-a-cuffs – early in the show Fat Joe made a comment about G-Unit bringing so much security. Then at the end of 50’s performance, he dissed Fat Joe and called him a pussy. On national television. This is not the Vibe awards, please stop being ghetto. I guess Fat Joe was hungry for a pupusa and 50 was suffering from ‘roid rage (did you see his jacked arms???) – DOWNGRADE

* Kelly Clarkson taking the mic mobile-style and getting soaking wet – UPGRADE

* R. Kelly – I think his singing voice was trapped in the closet because he gave one of the worst lip synching performances ever. I’m gonna say it was worse than Milli Vanilli’s. He wasn’t even trying to match his mouth up to the words. And the “bedroom set” looked like it was straight from Nationwide Warehouse. – DOWNGRADE

* The return of Beavis and Butthead – ehhh I’ll give it an UPGRADE.

*Women’s Fashion – I really can’t say that anyone there looked good. Jessica Simpson’s outfit looked like Little Bo Peep got dropped off on Sunset and found her way to the Hustler store for hot pants. Gwen wore leopard print again. Paris Hilton’s dress looked likes Skittles spit out of a gyroscope. Lindsay Hohan was trying to channel Twiggy and Bridgette Bardou but looked like a glittery doily. – DOWNGRADE

* Oh Eva. You wore a pink bathing suit on stage. And accessorized with a big ‘ol camel toe. – MAJOR DEFCON 3 DOWNGRADE

Everyone knows MTV has gone to shit. This is just further proof. (But I'm not gonna lie, I will continue watching Real World and Laguna Beach....)


Blogger Pretty in Pink said...

What about Kanye and Jamie Fox? I thought that was hot, but I heart Kanye regardless. Sadly I missed the Shakira bit, which I thought would be good too.

I did miss the performance of yesteryear like the choir singing Kid Rock and Eminem walking in with 500 look-a-likes.

I have to agree about Laguna and my not-so-secret love for SWEET SIXTEEN. Those bitches are GREAT!


11:36 AM  
Blogger Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

I only pray that the Real World house in New Orleans survives Hurrican Katrina in one piece...oh the memories, the memories...

12:46 PM  
Blogger RHB said...

Face it, we are no longer (I may never have been) the coveted demographic of MTV.

1:42 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

I had forgotten Real World was in New Orleans. That was a gorgeous house.

Yes, I acknowledge that I am not MTV's target demographic. But their reality shows are my guilty pleasure. Did anyone see that Sweet Sixteen with the brattiest girl ever who told her mother to shutup? If I ever told my mother to shut-up she would put me in a bodycast! What is wrong with kids today?

3:22 PM  
Blogger indecentoffense said...

good to see i didnt miss anything...

5:24 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Ha ha! I agree with you 100%, VP.
The VMA'a sucked. Diddy has NO personality.

6:27 PM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

As I said, I can't believe I wasted my life watching that. It was the worst one ever. But - definitely agree with the upgrades/downgrades.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Scooter said...

I think R. Kelly was lip-syncing because its was hyped as a one man show, not nessicarily a performance. And I personally found it to be hilarious.

Scooter McGavin's 9th Green

10:35 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

R. Kelly sang (lipsynched) the most confusing song in history.

8:26 AM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

i just think it would have been much more dramatic if the other actors were there to do their parts. this is just further proof that r. kelly is the next howard hughes. talented but egomanical.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Keith said...

totally agree with the upgrades and downgrades! r. kelly was horrendous. it was like he got really tired and kept on trying to keep up with the song. like, "when the hell is this stupid a$$ song that i wrote gonna end." definitely a waste of my 3.5 hours.

and real world austin hasn't been great, but thank goodness there's laguna beach. i'm not gonna lie that i'll be watching the reality show when it airs :)

11:37 AM  

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