Friday, October 28, 2005

"She Says It's Cold Out, But Her Popsicle Melts..."

She says it's cold out
But her popsicle melts
She's in the bathroom
She pleasures herself....
- "These Things" by She Wants Revenge (new band from L.A.)

I love the lyrics in this song because the first two lines metaphorically describe me right now and my lack of sex - this must stop NOW. It's cold out, but I'm on fire. I don't usually write about sex, even if I do think about it a lot (as evidenced in my previous post). So let's be candid here for a sec and talk about sex, baby.

Let's set the scene: It's late May and I start hanging out with Malibu Ken and think he's a nice guy, but don't really expect much besides random outings. Then things progress to more than just friends. We keep it 8th grade style by only engaging in heavy petting and making out. And he seemed to be suffering from a cold most of the time so I was relcutant to kiss him, haha. This goes on for 2 months. Cut to my birthday, where I basically demanded (ok drunkingly slurred-demanded) he go down on me, and he of course happily obliged. So then we're at the oral sex stage, which I see as a natural progression for intimacy (isn't it weird that the younger generation views oral sex as akin to giving a kiss?). It certainly fulfilled my quest for Attached/Ass By August. *

Because I knew he would be leaving at the end of August to have surgery, I made the executive decision to not have sex. I thought that having sex before we established our relationship would ruin things and probably cause me to have unrealistic expectations.

So we did not have sex before he left, and now that he is coming back Sunday I want to be ON HIM. It's been 4 months since I've been laid**, but ultimately I'm going to hold out for a little longer on the sex with MK(for above mentioned reasons). But believe me I cannot wait to do it and anticipation makes it a whole lot sweeter.

Physically, I would not say I have sex like a girl. Forget any sweet love-making tactics. Actually the phrase "making love" makes me ill. And the thought of "making love" to slow jams is so 1984. The sex should be raunchy, playful,steamy, and fun. Smack it, flip it, rub it down! Leave the Jodeci at home, put on some Nine Inch Nails and I'm ready to go.

However, emotionally I suppose I have sex like a girl. If I really like the guy, I view sex as a signed deal we both make that our intimacy is valued and this is not just a fleeting situation. Of course the other person does not always agree with this, thus making my attachment to them very "girly." Blame the hormones I say!

So now comes the advice section where I hope my fellow bloggers will help:

1. Is holding out on sex likely to be viewed as playing a game? (Ultimately I know it's my final decision anyway, but just like to know what people are thinking.)

2. Where can I get the best bikini/brazilian wax in Arlington or D.C.??? I've never had it done and I'm a little scared of the pain factor!

*Ass by August was based on gtting any kind of intimate sexual behavior. "Getting ass" can include many things, but does not necessarily mean sex. And upon revisiting this post I remembered setting up the "Orgasm by October" campaign. Unless I get seriously laid by Monday then I don't think this will happen.

**I use the term "getting laid" when referencing intercourse.


Blogger Asian Mistress said...

1. Holding out can be viewed as a game, but I think in your situation it's smart and it's not. I think it was a good decision you made not to have sex with MK before he left. That way if things went south (and not in the good way), you wouldn't have had that to add to the mess.

2. Hmm...I'll have to get back to you on that. It's all about who you are comfortable with...

And finally...I feel your pain. I think I'm going for Nailed in November now...

12:45 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

AM- Thank you for the sage advice. Although I was hoping to get the waxing done tomorrow before Halloween festivities begin.

1:27 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Holding out for sex is not playing games. You have to do whatever you are comfortable with, girl. If you are the type to get emotionally involved when you have is best to wait until you have a mutual emotionally available partner. Women should NEVER have sex with someone when they aren't ready.

In regards to the Brazilian wax question. I am not familar enough with the area to tell you where to go. However, I will say that there is a bit of pain involved and it's a little awkward the first time...but it is worth it! You def. feel a little more sexually charged after having it done.

Enjoy a fantastic weekend!

3:19 PM  
Blogger Pretty in Pink said...

Definitely not playing games, plus, is his knee going to be up to it?! PS I think that MOST girls feel the same way you do about sex, of course there is a certain level of oh this is special, etc etc, but I think that girls of our generation are much more the "it, flip it, rub it down!" variety. Or maybe we are just similar people.

Regarding a wax, my old roomie used to go to Elizabeth Arden at Pentagon Row and swore by the ladies she saw there. I don't remember their names, but she was a loyal patron...I can find out if you would like.


3:43 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

Ahh PIP you bring up a good point. I think we would be able to manage a position that is comfortable for both of us :)We'll have to see what his doctor says.

If you can find out their names that would be great!

3:54 PM  
Blogger sethro said...

1. It can be viewed that way, but as long as you (and your reasonings) are consistent, it only matters that you're comfortable. That said, there are going to be some guys out there who are (to coin a phrase), fucked up douchebags, and they'll think they are deserving of Olympic-style monkey sex with the VP.

2. I could tell you if you lived in NC. Sorry.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Ok..Brazilian depends on how much you are getting taken off. If you mean everything, it's going to hurt, no matter what, so accept it. There are very few places with good people trained to take off as much as you might be thinking about. These people know what they are doing:

EMC (it's a dermatologist's practice with waxing offered).

Dupont Medical Building
1234 19th Street, #206
Washington, D.C. 20036

Ask for Noushin (prounounced Noo-shin).

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best wax ever is Ilo in gtown.

6:42 PM  
Blogger grkdivva said...

nine inch nails.. umm makes me say MEOW !

9:42 PM  
Blogger Siryn said...

Anyone can perceive anything askew from how you intend it. You could mean well, because you view sex differently from a man, but a player would probably still end up with the conclusion that you're a cocktease because you don't put out. For you, it's not a game, for him, you are playing games. At that point, just be true to yourself.

As for the Brazilian... no experience, but ask the women on Craigslist. I remember seeing that question multiple times on rants n raves. I remember there was this one place down in Alexandria that was good. But I dunno.

I love me some Jodeci, though. Don't diss 'em! Go get an mp3 of Alone, from Diary of a Mad Band. That track is hott.

9:51 PM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

VP, you and I think alike in many ways. Do you ever read The Onion? There used to be a "column" on there by some guy who would talk about all the ways he would woo his lady love, a la "And then I will bathe your body in the finest champange, in a bath lit only by the most expensive candles. I will then wrap your body in the smoothest silk..." etc. etc. And it always made me giggle because I can't think of anything that would torture me more!

Anyway, I don't think it's game playing at all to have sex only when you are ready for it. Why wait this long and then have a sucky experience because you went for it when you weren't ready?

12:22 AM  
Blogger DCLastCall said...

Wax issue first - No clue. But I admire your willingness to pursue it. Just bite your upper lip and take the pain.

Echoing others that have already responded, only move forward when your ready.

However, when your ready (and it sounds as if you are), take him! I am sure that he won't fight back.


2:59 PM  
Blogger Pretty in Pink said...

Just heard back from my roomie...Yogitha at Elizabeth Arden in Pentagon Row. Heart

9:41 PM  
Blogger Twoste said...

Okay. What is going on with the women in this city? Everyday on the Metro I'm seeing these well-dressed cries of "screw me now! Please!" all over the place. And NOO, it's "not because I'm a dude who thinks about sex all the time." Seriously, there's been a 400% increase in those big leather "fuck me" boots around town. Must be the end of the month syndrome or something, which is odd since it usually means that all the women dress down; this month it seems to be reversed. Thoughts?

10:35 AM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

PIP - muchas gracias! I actually went to a place in Old Town that was OK. I told the woman it was my first time and she just started laughing as she ripped the hair off. sigh.

Twoste - I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but the appearance of "fuck me boots" usually coincides with chillier temperatures. I do not associate a fashionable knee-high boot with being sex-starved. It's simply a matter of function for covering legs up. I broke mine out 2 weeks ago and wear them with funky patterned tights. It's too hot to wear fuck me boots in the summer, duh.

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Roxsan Day Spa in the White Flint Mall is the best wax I've ever had...And I've shopped around a bit. They use a soft wax that hurts less for some reason.

2:15 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I might be too late, but I second the motion for Ilo in Georgetown for the best wax. :) Sorta painful but quick, and it gets less painful the more often you go.

As for the rest, I don't think that holding off sex is a game unless you make it one, and that's not what it sounds like you're doing. Keep doing what makes you comfortable!

5:09 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

Ah, I am too late-- I just saw your earlier comment. Oh, well!

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smack it, flip it, rub it down!in't this from " BBd " I thought it was me" ?

6:20 AM  

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