Sunday, November 27, 2005

Hail Cesar

My body is a bit of a wreck right now. I drank with a friend from high school on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. She knows the bartender at Peppers, and he in turn knows the bartenders at Fox and Hounds, which in turn makes for free drinks and a very drunk VP. I passed out that night and then bam, it's 2PM on Thanksgiving Day. I was supposed to be at Mom's house at 11AM. Oops.

Friday night was the real damage. A bunch of Hoodbridge folks were in town for the weekend and I went out in Arlington. First to Mr. Days (which sucked as usual), then to Clarendon Grill (which sucked as usual), then to Whitlows. I think at each place we went I had at least 3 drinks. That's 9 drinks in a span of 2 hrs. Needless to say when Cara suggested we go to Adams Morgan at 1AM I was in no condition to say no, or yes, or even form clauses. We hop in a cab and before we know it we're at Heaven and Hell taking more shots of SoCo and lime. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

So on the cab ride home Cara spills the contents of her purse on the cab floor. I reach over to grab what I can, and I think that's when my cell phone falls out. But I'm too drunk to realize this. We get home and I promptly pay homage to the porcelain god. No I don't pay homage, I freaking erect a shrine and firepit where I offer up my liver as a sacrifice to the toilet gods. I eventually pass out on the bathroom floor.

Cut to 8AM next morning. I realize I'm not in my bed and I'm still wearing my going out clothes. I change and drag myself into bed.

Cut to 11AM. Sip some Ginger Ale. Stomach is rejecting itself. Back to the bathroom.

Cut to 12PM. Cara has stayed in the guest room and has finally awoken. We are both useless and lounge around watching Who's Wedding Is It Anyway?

Cut to 1PM. Cara decides to bake a frozen pizza. Trader Joe's Olympus Pizza w/ Feta, Kalamata Olives, and Tomatos. Sounded like a good idea right? Not so much. After eating I throw up again.

Cut to 3PM. Still a hot mess. I wonder why Malibu Ken hasn't called. We made plans and he said he would call around 2PM. I reach in my purse for phone. Hot damn. Nothing. Reach in coat pocket. Nada. Look under bed. Nil. Call my cell from Cara's phone. No "Since You've Been Gone" ringtone is heard. OH SHIT I LOST MY CELL. I start cursing. But something tells me to check my voicemail. Malibu Ken has left a message saying that someone named Cesar has my phone and called him. What a weird coincidence that this Cesar fellow called Malibu Ken right when I was thinking about calling him.

So I was relieved that someone found my phone and was willing to meet in DC on Saturday to give it to me. Malibu Ken insists on going with me (chivalry is not dead! praise be!) and we head over to 14th and P to retrieve my phone. While waiting for Cesar we go into P St Bistro across from the blindingly bright monstrosity that is Whole Foods. I almost went into a seizure just walking by that store. So Cesar finally comes and refuses the $20 we offer him as a thanks. Cesar, I would just like to say thank you and it makes me happy that there are still decent people out there.

The rest of Saturday was a lot better, as my stomach finally settled and Malibu Ken and I went to see Walk The Line. What a stellar movie. Joaquin Phoenix is so believable and Reese Witherspoon is impressive.

And all of today has been splendid. Woke up next to Malibu Ken, which is such a pleasant feeling. We ordered pizza and watched the Skins botch another game. Now I'm sitting here in his sweatshirt and it smells so good. So good.


Blogger Asian Mistress said...

That is the happiest Thanksgiving weekend ever. :)

12:48 AM  
Blogger I-66 said...

I'm sorry, did you just say Reese Witherspoon and impressive in the same sentence?

I had a similar experience to yours my freshman year of college... yet instead with my keys instead of a cell. I'd left them in a cab on the way back from the airport - thankfully my memory permits me to remember random crap and when I realized they were gone I actually remembered the cabby saying his car number over a transmission while I was in the car. I called the cab company and he brought them to me the next day. Good thing... I'd locked everything in my closet with a key that was on my keychain.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Dudley said...

What is it with over-intoxication and making the inebriated decision to go to Heaven & Hell in said state? This has happened to me on several occasions. And being the bastion of straight-ness that Hell tends to be, I always have brushes with getting beat the eff down b/c the booze don't allow me to even BEGIN to mask my free flowing gayness. Invariably I get tanked, start dancing with some chick, her 6'3 320lb linebbacker bf is NEVER impressed, I try to explain it's all ok b/c I'm a big homo, that serves only to make the big scary man even more pissed off, so I narrowly escape getting my ass kicked, drink myself into oblivion, and then go home and camp out for the rest of the evening in the bathroom. I'm pretty . . .

Glad you got your phone back! It's alwaty good to find those few nice people in DC!

11:19 AM  
Blogger The BLS said...

I loved Walk the Line, too! I didn't realize just how long Johnny Cash pined after June Carter... it's really sweet.

Sounds like you had a great Thanksgiving. :P

12:51 PM  
Blogger sethro said...

Definitely want to see Walk the Line.

I love drunk holidays! But how much hell did you catch from your mom?

2:31 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

Yes Reese Witherspoon was impressive. She had a lot of depth. And I agree with BLS that I had no idea how long Johnny pined for June.

Dudley - What is it about Heaven and Hell that attracts linebackers??

Sethro - Mom was fine. We all run on VP time anyway which means she wasn't even 1/3 through cooking when I got there.

8:29 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

bah. That's not called VP time. That's called...

11:34 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

um i guess it's called "BP" time??

2:10 PM  

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