Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Meatnormous Meathead

With all the crazy egomaniac celebrities out there it's hard to choose one to single out as being supremely deplorable and, frankly there are more important things in this world to worry about. However I must say that after reading about the trainwreck that is Chris Klein and his interview with Elle magazine I elect Klein as the Most Meatnormous Meathead out there.

You probably don't know who Chris Klein is. Don't worry you aren't alone. He is best known as part of the ensemble cast of American Pie and the ex- boyfriend of Katie Holmes. His and Katie's relationship ended mere months before she hooked herself up to an e-meter and got knocked up by Tom Cruise.

After the break-up Klein said he was fine, but shortly after was arrested for a DUI. He's had small movie roles and still occupies that clean cut jock look that was so very 1999.

But now Klein is spitting out some great verbal diarrhea and talking about topics such as: 1)How great he is 2)How he only dates hot girls 3)How girls have to be skinny in order to be with him.

An excerpt from MSN gossip:

"I don't need food to impress, man," boasts the cocky "American Pie" C-lister. "It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she's cooking the food."

Chris, 26, a self-described "alpha heterosexual" who only dates "8 to 10's," also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he's seeing gains a few pounds.

"I'm not tolerant of that at all," declares the actor, who says he has no problem telling his swollen squeeze to shape up.

"When a woman isn't feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she'll ask you if you like her body," he pontificates. "You have to say no."

AWW HELLS TO THE NO. Did he think he was hot stuff during this photo shoot? (via thesmokinggun.com) :

"Dude I did not know Jager-Bombs were so good! Stifler would be so proud. Oh yeah and fuck that short troll Cruise. He's bi-questionable anyway."

Nice DUI mug. I would give this photo a -1.5. Wouldn't get him too far with those "8-10"s he allegedly dates.

And as a "heartthrob" to teenage girls, he should not be spewing dumb comments on how he feels obligated to tell women their bodies aren't good enough, especially during their most bloated uncomfortable time of the month. These are exactly the kind of comments that make teenage girls feel inadequate and as though they have to live up to some men's ridiculous standards.

Do us all a favor Mr. Klein - put down the Katie Holmes voodoo doll, relinquish the undeserved title of "alpha heterosexual", and go jump off a cliff.


Anonymous Mala said...

He wishes he dated 8s and 10s.

What a jerk!

3:23 AM  
Blogger sethro said...

I can't wait to see him on But Can They Sing 2. Sheesh, what a douche.

6:30 AM  
Blogger Adam said...

I knew him in high school, and he was a tool then...

9:04 AM  
Blogger Dudley said...

This is what I like to call a classic case of over-compensation and repressed "I'm a big nelly bottom" homosexual. His comments scream, "I have a really small penis," and most likely, "I say I date 8s and 10s" translates more to, "I get pounded in the bee-hind by 8 to 10 guys at a time."

12:10 PM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

No wonder he was always so quiet when he was with Katie. She probably told him not to speak.

1:06 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

mala - he totally wishes.

sethro - but can they sing is absolute garbage so klein will fit right in

adam - i thought cornhusker boys were all supposed to be wholesome??

dudley - you nailed it, haha

cookie - he would probably benefit from getting some new wranglers/assistants to prevent him fron speaking.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Sounds like somebody's attempting to stir up some PR about himself. Nice try, Klein - Tom and Katie have the bad PR angle NAILED.

2:15 PM  
Blogger Crazy Girl City said...

Wow. What a loser. How does Katie date these men?

3:00 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

That guy is a MAJOR asshole! Ugh!
I think Dudley may be right about him.
Someone needs to slap him.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Scot in DC said...

What a douche bag!!!

6:59 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

I thought he was great in "Election". Sadly, though, it appears he wasn't acting.

9:49 AM  
Blogger The Captain said...

Okay, seriously, who from the American Pie cast has become a bigger train wreck? Chris, or Tara Reid?

10:52 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home