Friday, December 09, 2005

Friday Rants

Sorry to go all Scrooge on y'all:

1. My roommates - Believe me if I could afford to live alone I would. My roommate L is an inconsiderate twit. She consistently hordes dirty dishes in her lair downstairs and forces me to wonder, "Where oh where has all the cutlery gone?" It's really hard to eat spaghetti with a butter knife ya know. Last night I went down to do laundry and counted 4 plates, 4 knives, 3 forks, 2 spoons, and a partridge in a pear tree on a side coffee table. I left a nice little post-it that read: "Please take your dishes upstairs and load them in the dishwasher. Others in this house would like to use the utensils too."

Also, she never takes responsibility for anything. She refuses to take the trash out, even though she is always the last to put something in the trash can. She refuses to load her own dishes. She refuses to clean the upstairs common areas that she uses. She ran out of checks last week so she didn't bother to open the Verizon bill that she is supposed to be in charge for. I gave my money but the envelope is still sitting on the credenza waiting to be mailed. It was due Dec 6.

Additionally, since we have Internet DSL through Verizon she is responsible for making sure the wireless is working. Well it hasn't worked in 12 days, which has me going mad. I can't do onlnie shopping, check breaking news, chat on AIM, or visit beloved blogs. This happened before and she acted like it wasn't a big deal, but I disagree because I am not going to pay full price for a service that only works 2 weeks out of the month. But she can't be bothered to call or take responsibility, so I guess when next month's bill comes I'll just give her half the amount. Dumb serf. Yeah I'm going feudal on her ass!

My other roommate A has been on duty for 3 months so not around, but K is a pretty nice roommate except for the fact she leaves personal belongings strewn about all the common areas. I came home this week to find her laptop on my coffee table along with an empty can of Diet Coke, a dirty mug, some vitamins, her boots on the dining room floor and two pairs of shoes in the corner of the living room. GOOD GRIEF COULD YOU PLEASE STORE YOUR STUFF IN YOUR OWN ROOM?? I'm not a huge neat-freak, but I think common areas should be free of clutter and clean so that if you have any friends that drop by unexpectedly you won't have to make a mad dive towards the couch to hide your roommate's pair of pantyhose.

2. Holiday Shoppers - Y'all are all whack jobs. You are making it difficult to go into any kind of retail/consumer shop at lunchtime or on the weekends. I work in Old Town and I'm just waiting for some old lady to get trampled by an angry crowd of holiday shoppers outside of Papyrus on King St. Actually if that happened it would make my day.

3. My office - I need a new job quick. But besides that, there is no holiday cheer up in this bitch. I am bringing in ammo next week and decorating. I'm going to find the tackiest tinsel and the most unclassy fake poinsetta and go to town just to have some semblance that this is the holiday season. And we don't even get a holiday party, just a lunch where we are forced to sit near each other and talk. Utter lameness.

OK. Exhale.


Blogger PseudoIntellect said...

I hated roommates too.

F*** shopping this time of year.

Isn't organized, mandatory fun the antithesis of its intended purpose?

2:03 PM  
Blogger A Unique Alias said...

See, now I saw "bringing in the ammo and decorating" and I wasn't thinking "tinsel" so much as I was thinking "heavily lead-based paint." Like, you know, bullets and shit.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Your roommate must have been waited on hand and foot by her parents, growing up. I do not miss the roommate/group house days.

If you feel decorations would cheer you up, I say, "do it." If you want to use psychological warfare, go online and find the Burger King "ding fries are done" song, or the dogs barking Jingle Bells...or someone playing Jingle Bells on rubber bands. Crank up your speakers. Smile.

3:21 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

pseudo - i didn't say the fun had to be organized per se, but holidays are about tradition and spirit. but who am i to force it on people....

AUA - you're decorating style would work if i was a postal service employee ;)

3:22 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Are all of their names on the lease? If not...I would out those assholes and find new ones.
I have a roommate...but she is perfect. In fact, i've only had one bad experience with a roommate...and I kicked her out. But I do prefer living is so nice...I miss it.

Cheer up, sunshine!

4:54 PM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Seriously, I thought the same thing AUA did - that you were gonna decorate Terminator-style. :)

I don't envy you your Christmas party; that sounds perfectly dreadful. My company actually has theirs in January. Yeah, I don't get it either.

9:59 PM  
Blogger Terry said...

I'm moving to DC next month...want to replace one of your roomies? I'm a considerate person.

I only offer because I think the roommate I've chosen for my DC adventure is going to be pragmatic, but less mature than most folks one could choose to live with...oh well.

11:45 PM  
Blogger Siryn said...

You need to read this blog. You can at least get a good laugh. This person has the misfortune of being stuck with some horrible roommates.

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once had a roommate who did the same kind of stuff. I finally started taking her dirty dishes and putting them on her bed. I nagged her ass off once to take the bathroom garbage to the dumpster (10 feet from the front door)AND SHE PUT THE BAG IN THE KITCHEN GARBAGE INSTEAD. Granted, the girl couldn't follow the directions on a box of Jell-0 (true story!!!), but come on!

11:09 AM  

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