Friday, June 09, 2006

Friday Boobies - Ms. Dior If You're Nasty Edition

Dear Ms. Janet Jackson-Dupree-A-Town-Holla!,

Listen doll. Can we chat? You are one of the more "normal" members of the Jackson family. And that's saying a lot. In fact I think that's a good compliment so you are welcome. Recently you balloned up to a heavier weight for a "movie role." What you really wanted to say was that you sat around your posh house and ate whatever you pleased - that's fine by me. Everyone enjoys doughnuts.

There was a rumor going around a few months ago that your record company was not going to promote your new album unless you lost the weight and got those famous abs back. So you decided to lose the weight in record time (my guess it was a combo of dieretics, TrimSpa Baby! and a diet consisting of only grapes and bitterness).

So you lost the weight and showed up looking loverly at the CFDA awards. Your dress was very pretty and ....oh my gentle Jesus. Who melted your boobs???



Upon further inspection it appears you are suffering from the same affliction that has plagued Star Jones and Vivica A. Fox. "Ginormously Fugged Out Crevice Cleavage Syndrome" is no joke Janet. You will receive a score of 3. If you show some improvement and get those hard masses you pretend to be boobs fixed, I may increase your score. Please consult Dr. Ray from "Dr. 90210." Until then you are on probabtion!

Ciao,

VP of Dior

7 Comments:

Blogger DC Cookie said...

Thank god somebody else thinks her boob job is as whack as Tori Spelling's...

1:44 PM  
Blogger O-FACE said...

She can still get it...Its not her fault. That two-faced Justin Timberlake did it. Dam Titty gate. But she looks well and respectful for a 40 year old legend dating that thing on the front of my lucky charms box.....

1:47 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Ha ha!
She does look good for her age, though. Let's just hope that she keeps her boobs covered up when her CD drops.

5:28 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

I'm with Chase. She's looking good for her age. Let's face it. She could look like her sister and brother.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

I LOVE Janet. I have since doing a school dance to Rythym Nation back in the day, and still love her. I have a friend who was a backup dancer, and have only heard good things.....

BUT....

I agree with you 100%. The 'movie role'. Yes, me too. I'm bulking up for a possible movie role. Haha. And the breasts...not good honey. Not good. In some photos, her new cutness is almost making her look like a transvestite. Don't get me wrong though, I'll still buy her new album. :)

7:53 AM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

ok everyone agrees she looks good for her age. but the boobies are gross. sorry.

10:47 AM  
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4:27 PM  

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