Tuesday, September 26, 2006

We Built This City on Rock & Roll (...and Douchebags)

So last night I went to Hotel Washington with Law-rah, MappyB, DCSC, Sweet, Buggie, Heather, Velvet, and Marci. Totally impromptu and totally what I needed - drinks, fun smart girls, and a spectacular view of DC. I can't believe I've never been up there before! It was such a treat because the weather was awesome and we saw someone very special get dropped off on the lawn at the White House.

But of course it wouldn't be DC without some douchebags in attendance. Us gals were having a grand time talking about penis cake molds and Harleys when this tiny drunk man with frosted, gelled, and shallacked hair yells, "Shut Up!" in our direction. His friends are clearly embarrased and they leave soon after. Our waiter told us he knew we were not the problem and the dude had a little too much to drink. But the fact Tiny Dude felt compelled to make a scene and try to be cool was just sad. Buggie pointed out that there is just a certain something about DC people that is so off-putting and well, unwelcome at times.

This brings me to another story from this past weekend. I went with 2 college friends to Science Club (btw I LOVE the bartenders there) and there was a group of guys in a corner. One guy in particular kept looking in our direction and he finally came over to strike up a conversation. I wish he hadn't. He was cute but had a terrible attitude. He talked about how much non-profits sucked for not hiring him, how he now works at the United Way answering phones, and he hates that Cap Hill is so partisan. Ummm ok. He then asks my group where we live (Virginia). He then responds, "Oh so none of you live in DC." No. We just said we live in VA. I asked him how long he had been living in Cap Hill and he said "about 6 months (I think he said that - I was sorta tuning him out at that point) and he's from New Jersey."

So wait a minute. You are not even from the DC metro area and you are going to give me a lecture on bi-partisanship and DC? No thanks. If you weren't living here when our team was the Bullets and you never got busted at Buzz at Nation, don't you EFFIN dare tell me anything about DC.

I was clearly disgusted with him and he said, "Oh I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore and you're like rolling your eyes and stuff." At that point I politely excused myself to the bathroom and left my poor friends there but I knew if I talked to him any longer I was going to throw my delicious sour apple martini on his wrinkled button down shirt. The best part was when he said he liked to go to "singles bars" and "pick up girls." Then he suavely added, "But don't worry I'm not trying to pick up you girls." Well, thank you Mr. Turd Douchebag for clarifying. To top it all off he tried to hang out and follow us to our next bar. I pretty much told him to go back to his friends and have a great evening.

In the end I still love, and will always love, Washington, DC. I have considered it my home for the past 13 years. I know there are wonderful people in DC who are caring, compassionate, and enjoyable. I'm friends with some of these people. But I'm wondering, why is this city filled with tons of people with huge turd chips on their shoulders??


Anonymous Sweet said...

Huge turd chips on their shoulders. Love it. Maybe because DC is full of people that used to be nerds in high school who are overcompensating for it now?

11:23 AM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

There is a lot of overcompensation in this town, that's for sure.

But the gems are here too, as we proved last night. Got to love an drunken ab workout induced by fits of laughter.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"tiny drunk man" I love it! Best description of the day.

1:14 PM  
Blogger Law-Rah said...

I love that you turned to him and shushed him complete with finger over lips!

1:28 PM  
Blogger Terry said...

I've only lived here 9 months, and its people like that (i.e. Mr. Douchebag), that annoy the ever living crap out of me.

It's even better then they reference their trust fund 5 times with in three minutes. I hope they drown in a sea of money.

Sorry, little off topic.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Twoste said...

Sweet's got it right. Everyone in my office is a gigantic box of soft tissues.
So, you're saying, wrinkled shirts are a turn-off?

3:54 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Ah man...sorry I missed it last night. I was going to try and come...I really was but alas, work is keeping super busy. Miss you all!

P.S. This is the first blog I've read since I've been on hiatus. I need a vacation! :-)

5:44 PM  
Blogger Sharkbait said...

So love you. So love you.
I am sorry I missed it. Law-ruh mentioned it Friday evening but I had something going on. Next time let me know! :-)

I am glad you had a fun night out. You deserve it!

9:07 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

sweet - yep overcompensation is the key word!

marci - no need to go to the bar when you have ab-tastic workouts from laughing

DCSC - gracias.

Law-rah - he deserved to be shushed. that is what you do to tiny men

terry - i'm sorry to hear you encounter those people too!

twoste - wrinkled shirts are NOT a good look

chase - you are the queen of brunch (i'm the self-proclaimed duchess of brunch) so we should do that soon

sharkie - i really had no business drinking like that on a monday. but you are right, i deserve to have a good time :)

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Oface said...

Where are Friday Boobies......

4:46 AM  

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