Stupid Girls
So I was talking to the "love of my life" who is actually just the first guy I fell hard for, and lamenting about not meeting guys. I told him that I have been told more than once that I am unapproachable. Now this particular "love of my life" met me when I was 18 under the haze of a drunken frat party and we are still friends to this day - and he said that when he met me he didn't find me intimidating or unapproachable. But again we were drunk and young and felt invincible and I had the cajones of a horse.
As I started to explain to him the response I have gotten from guys saying I am unapproachable, I automatically assumed he would refute these claims and tell me the opposite. But he didn't. He confirmed that I am unapproachable because of the fact that I come off as too intelligent.
Too intelligent...I never knew that could be a problem! I was naturally offended by his claim. Do not tell me that even though I am bright, ambitious, and thoughtful I have to hide that to appear dumb or non-threatening. Gee golly I better hide my William & Mary diploma and pretend to not know who Genghis Khan is.
So I got a little hyped up over his claim and he tried to explain it from a different light. He thinks that I use my intelligence as a defense, like "Look at me I'm sooo smart and please do not look at my fabulous boobs because I am so much more than that."
Well, I guess it's true then. Instead of flaunting my body I naturally just showcase my intelligence. Nothing wrong with that right? I suppose it could come off as being snooty or too into myself, but honestly why should I have to hide a part of me that is so great? Women are objectified enough in the media and society, why should I "dumb-down" my demeanor even more so as to not appear haughty?
If I use intelligence as a defense mechanism, it is because I am defending myself against some pre-conceived notions like that my hips and curves make me promiscuous or that because I am a black woman I simply can't have an interest in Shakespeare (and I swear these are real stereotypes I have faced). I have no reason to play the stupid girl and I never will. I understand it is important to connect with people from all walks of life, not just ones with fancy diplomas, but it is my prerogative to put my knowledge/IQ intelligence, as well as my emotional intelligence, at a premium. I hope more women do the same.
As I started to explain to him the response I have gotten from guys saying I am unapproachable, I automatically assumed he would refute these claims and tell me the opposite. But he didn't. He confirmed that I am unapproachable because of the fact that I come off as too intelligent.
Too intelligent...I never knew that could be a problem! I was naturally offended by his claim. Do not tell me that even though I am bright, ambitious, and thoughtful I have to hide that to appear dumb or non-threatening. Gee golly I better hide my William & Mary diploma and pretend to not know who Genghis Khan is.
So I got a little hyped up over his claim and he tried to explain it from a different light. He thinks that I use my intelligence as a defense, like "Look at me I'm sooo smart and please do not look at my fabulous boobs because I am so much more than that."
Well, I guess it's true then. Instead of flaunting my body I naturally just showcase my intelligence. Nothing wrong with that right? I suppose it could come off as being snooty or too into myself, but honestly why should I have to hide a part of me that is so great? Women are objectified enough in the media and society, why should I "dumb-down" my demeanor even more so as to not appear haughty?
If I use intelligence as a defense mechanism, it is because I am defending myself against some pre-conceived notions like that my hips and curves make me promiscuous or that because I am a black woman I simply can't have an interest in Shakespeare (and I swear these are real stereotypes I have faced). I have no reason to play the stupid girl and I never will. I understand it is important to connect with people from all walks of life, not just ones with fancy diplomas, but it is my prerogative to put my knowledge/IQ intelligence, as well as my emotional intelligence, at a premium. I hope more women do the same.
Labels: brainiac, emotional intelligence, Shakespeare, stupid
posted by VP of Dior at 9:25 PM
Spot on post. And for the record, I find you approachable because of your intelligence. :)
Who's Genghis Khan? Is he the guy from that Star Trek movie or something?
kassy - right back at you
I-66 - oh I don't know I think he was a Vulcan or something
twoste - my point of this post is that why should i be considered unapproachable because i'm smart? people who really know me know that i do not go around boasting about all of my attributes. but if people are picking up on something i am exuding i would like to feel free to open up a general discussion on it and the greater issue of centries of women being told that being smart is undesirable.
I think you may be right... or is that Chaka Khan that I'm thinking of?
Hahaha I think I have the same problem.
We are more than our beautiful boobies! ;)