Monday, February 26, 2007

Stupid Girls

So I was talking to the "love of my life" who is actually just the first guy I fell hard for, and lamenting about not meeting guys. I told him that I have been told more than once that I am unapproachable. Now this particular "love of my life" met me when I was 18 under the haze of a drunken frat party and we are still friends to this day - and he said that when he met me he didn't find me intimidating or unapproachable. But again we were drunk and young and felt invincible and I had the cajones of a horse.

As I started to explain to him the response I have gotten from guys saying I am unapproachable, I automatically assumed he would refute these claims and tell me the opposite. But he didn't. He confirmed that I am unapproachable because of the fact that I come off as too intelligent.

Too intelligent...I never knew that could be a problem! I was naturally offended by his claim. Do not tell me that even though I am bright, ambitious, and thoughtful I have to hide that to appear dumb or non-threatening. Gee golly I better hide my William & Mary diploma and pretend to not know who Genghis Khan is.

So I got a little hyped up over his claim and he tried to explain it from a different light. He thinks that I use my intelligence as a defense, like "Look at me I'm sooo smart and please do not look at my fabulous boobs because I am so much more than that."

Well, I guess it's true then. Instead of flaunting my body I naturally just showcase my intelligence. Nothing wrong with that right? I suppose it could come off as being snooty or too into myself, but honestly why should I have to hide a part of me that is so great? Women are objectified enough in the media and society, why should I "dumb-down" my demeanor even more so as to not appear haughty?

If I use intelligence as a defense mechanism, it is because I am defending myself against some pre-conceived notions like that my hips and curves make me promiscuous or that because I am a black woman I simply can't have an interest in Shakespeare (and I swear these are real stereotypes I have faced). I have no reason to play the stupid girl and I never will. I understand it is important to connect with people from all walks of life, not just ones with fancy diplomas, but it is my prerogative to put my knowledge/IQ intelligence, as well as my emotional intelligence, at a premium. I hope more women do the same.

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Anonymous KassyK said...

Spot on post. And for the record, I find you approachable because of your intelligence. :)

10:40 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Who's Genghis Khan? Is he the guy from that Star Trek movie or something?

7:44 AM  
Blogger Twoste said...

I don't really understand the point of you letting us know this. So, you're intelligent. Annnnddd...?

2:13 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

kassy - right back at you

I-66 - oh I don't know I think he was a Vulcan or something

twoste - my point of this post is that why should i be considered unapproachable because i'm smart? people who really know me know that i do not go around boasting about all of my attributes. but if people are picking up on something i am exuding i would like to feel free to open up a general discussion on it and the greater issue of centries of women being told that being smart is undesirable.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Twoste said...

AHA! Okay, point taken. Yeah, so, I agree with you. I've often heard talk about a friend of mine (no, really, a friend, not me! I swear) being attractive because he seems silently intelligent. He is, but he's definitely not attractive. At least not to me, but that's not saying much I guess.
Either way, I wouldn't worry about it. Worrying about it is like worrying about being TOO good looking. Eventually the other people who are smart will notice you for who you are and completely and utterly respect you on that level. I'd totally date someone for their brains. I know a lot of stupid guys who'd be threatened by a "smart" girl (like they don't exist!), but that's why they're stupid.
So there.

4:04 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

I think you may be right... or is that Chaka Khan that I'm thinking of?

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Asian Mistress said...

Hahaha I think I have the same problem.

We are more than our beautiful boobies! ;)

10:12 PM  

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