Lifestyles of the Bitch and Shameless

I have no shame. I broke down and emailed J, venting about the awkard non-kiss that occurred last week between him and I. I admit that I am over-analyzing this, but sometimes you just want to vent. The problem with the male mind is that some of you assume that you can come to a tidy conclusion and solve the problem, but sometimes that's not what a girl needs. In this case, I feel super confused about what happened, but the cloud hanging over me has more to do with the fact that he won't break up with his girlfriend. And I can't seem to really express what I need. Therefore, I write silly convuluted emails like this:

July 14, 2005 12:20 PM:
"I need to vent about something. I really enjoyed hanging out with you and watching the shining. (and yes i realize its red rum.) However, I hope you weren't thinking I was trying to diss you when you tried to kiss me. I was just caught off guard....I just felt uncomfortable because you put me in the position of a homewrecker so to speak - which I am not, despite what you might have heard ;) It sucks because you know all about how I've been dicked around by guys recently so I'm very leery of these kinds of situations. *sigh* And it sucks because it's not the right timing for you and I think you are awesome and adorable and you and I would make a great team. And I would want to make out with you all the time. And you have great arms. OK I'll stop now..... I just wanted to get all that off my chest. Thanks for reading my blabbering mess. "

I have yet to get a response back :/