Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Wake Me Up When September Ends

I know everyone and their mother has used this Green Day song in a post this month, but current events make it all too pertinent. September is shaping up to be a doozy of a month.

First let's backtrack. This is my 50th post(wow!). Looking back on the summer, I had a rather carefree couple of months, lots of fun outings, and I met a wonderful guy.

I was looking through some old posts and discovered my Attached By August Agenda. My goal was to be attached by August, or at the very least get some ass. Well I successfully completed the ass part, but I guess I can't say Malibu Ken and I are attached. We formed a strong connection this summer, which was totally unexpected and nice. I didn't really have to try to hard when it came to him, but everything is still up in the air. He had his surgery last week and we have talked a couple of times. He is in massive amounts of pain, and because he can't walk upstairs to the shower, he "showers" in the garage with a rigged-up hose. Good grief. And he said his physical therapy is intensely painful. I feel awful for him and can't wait until he gets back. I'm counting down the weeks.

Now forward to the rest of this month, which is more stressful than a Lindsay Lohan family reunion. So I'm already a little depressed Malibu Ken is away, then shit hits the fan in every other part of my life. Specifically, my financial situation is the shits. Here's a quick rundown:

*I got a speeding ticket on Lee Highway in Arlington. Total speed trap and the cop was a huge ass. First, he's on foot and he steps into the middle of traffic to stop cars and pull me over to the side street. Apparently he had been doing it all afternoon because I saw a young man on the side street drive off after the cop gave him a ticket. The cop said I was going 48 MPH in the 30 MPH zone. That's bullshit because if I was going that fast I wouldn't have been able to stop in time to not hit his dumb-ass with my car when he stepped out into the middle of the street. So he gives me the ticket and I start to pull away. The cop walks back toward Lee Highway, doesn't even point the speed gun at a car, steps out into the street, seemingly randomly picks a car, pulls them over and gives them a ticket. It was another young man. So I seriously think he was targeting young drivers. Anyway, I'm going to court to contest, but if I have to pay the fine it will cost $160. :(

*My cellphone is still busted and is hanging by a moment thanks to a Band-Aid. I realized on Sunday that I only had 30 minutes left on my plan to last until Friday. Yep, no one is getting called before 9 PM. Sorry. Estimated cost for new phone and any charges resulting in extra minutes - $150.

*My car is causing me MAJOR headaches. Monday I hit a pole in my parking garage at work and knocked off the side passenger mirror. I take it in to Honda and they say they can fix it right away. Great. After they're done, the mechanic tells me that the car as other problems I need to fix - as in I need 4 new tires, alignment fixed, and front and back brake service. Fucking hell. Cost of mirror $180. Estimated cost of other car service - $800. ARGRGGGGH.

*It's time to refill my birth control prescription. Usually not a big deal for most people, however my job only offers a group health insurance plan that covers 0% of birth control drugs. So every 3 months I pay $130 out of pocket for my prescription. I clearly need a new job with better prescription drug coverage.

*My work-related business trip to Hartford falls on the same weekend of the GREs test date. My boss, who is usually understanding, as been surprisingly unsympathetic and says I still need to go to Hartford. But this is my future we're talking about here! I would like to take the GREs and start going over my options for grad school. But I guess that's too much to ask.

So let's see here -

Speeding ticket - $160
New cellphone - $150
Car maintenance - $980
Estrostep refill - $130
(Hypothetical situation) -Not taking the GREs, never advancing my career, going broke, then turning tricks to pay for bills, meeting a pimp who works me, getting strung out on heroin, moving to trailer park, producing 4 loud mouth crack babies - PRICELESS

***Reminder : tonight is Blogger Happy Hour! I know some people think Local 16 is a tad pretentious (much like the Polo I will be wearing tonight), but I heart that bar. You may remember a little event called my birthday where I, along with Kathryn and Indecent Offense among others, rocked the rooftop bar all night. See everyone at Local 16!


Blogger The Boy said...

I may rock the popped collar tonight!

9:52 AM  
Blogger Emily Flowerz said...

Sorry all that crap is happening. Can you take the GREs in Hartford or will you have to work the whole time there? Do you have an HR Dept you can talk to about the dilemma?

11:20 AM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

You could just marry one of the playaz and get free baking powder...

11:35 AM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

dj - eh we are a small independent, hence my boss IS the HR department.

cookie - i could do that, but then my kids would have god awful mustaches!

12:56 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

See ya tonight, lovely!

2:13 PM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Can't wait to play!!!

2:26 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Things will get better, VP.
Keep your chin up and have fun tonight.

2:50 PM  
Anonymous King Hater said...

Actually im glad that everything is going bad for you hope more bad things happend for you.

3:00 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

oh i see the cronies are back in town....

3:04 PM  
Anonymous VP of D'whore said...

Will someone fuck my ulgy ass please????? I hope this month ends because I may be pregnant

4:21 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

wow,the freaks not only come out at night, but also in the daytime!

i kinda like vp of d'whore. i'm going to take it on as an alias. thank you.

4:30 PM  
Anonymous the masterbater said...

VP of DIor let me ask you something? why does your website suck? u come wit lame come backs and hopefully like King Hater said your life becomes more worse. So maybe your website will be more interesting watching you have a bad day.

6:57 PM  
Anonymous the monkey of DCB said...

understand when you hate on someones elses website you will be hated unmercifully in yours. you kept quite for awhile but then you ran your stinking ass mouth.

6:59 PM  
Blogger The Senator said...

Thats not very gentlemanly of you guys leave her alone. So what if her blog sucks just dont read it if you dont like it. I must be really bored right now if I am on this blog. No offense VP but I usually dont read your blog.

10:20 PM  
Blogger VP of Dior said...

well at least i didn't ban anyone's IP from my website like a little pussy. i don't need to hide behind fake blogger names that don't have an email or blog associated with it. get a life.

9:10 AM  

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