Thursday, August 31, 2006

El Ernesto

Damn you Ernesto!!



I was looking forward to a relaxing va-cay in VA Beach with my friends, sipping margaritas and lounging in my girl's hot tub. But your a little bitch and decided to get stronger and threaten to dump your load all over the area.

Now listen up. I've had a very rough, stressful week with my boyfriend dumping me, work anxiety, messed up cell phone, sleeplessness, and overall sucktitude. I am really looking forward to getting away from it all. I haven't taken one vacation this summer (MK and I were planning something for September but that's out the window now) so Enersto you best stay away from the East Coast. Go swirl around in the Atlantic and dissipate. Got it?? Good!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Time Is Not on My Side

If you see a girl walking around the streets of DC, looking like she lost her best friend, groping an empty bottle of Tylenol PM, and crying - it's VP of Dior. No need to be alarmed I guess. VP will probably be in a despondent mood for quite some time, trying to pick up the pieces of her broken heart that are scattered like debris from a garbage truck. And no, she doesn't want to hear, "Time will tell," or " Only time can help you to get over this." Time is not on her side and it never has been.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The End

I knew this post was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Malibu Ken broke up with me tonight.

I can officially re-gain my title as "Most Likely to Die Alone."

Dog-Gonnit

I am in a funk.

Life keeps throwing shit at me.

First, I hate my landlord. I am moving to a room w/ a private bathroom inside the same house I moved to in June and she is raising my rent, along with everyone else's rent by $50, even though she told all the tenants she wouldn't. Then she complains about other roommates moving out/ new tenants and having to keep coming by the house to coordinate things. IT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR PROPERTY. AND YOU LIVE 3 MILES AWAY YOU SILLY WHORE.

Second, my landlord gives me a "courtesy call" today and informs me that a possible new tenant who might be arriving September 1 has a dog she will be bringing. Ummm that's not cool. No one else in the house has a dog, I don't like pet hair, and my boyfriend is allergic to all kinds of pet dander. Also, my house is ridiculously nice and only 1 yr old so why is the landlord willing to let a dog come in and mess up the joint?? My landlord simply does not know how to manage a property.

The whole reason we are getting this new tenant is because the girl vacating that room was getting STALKED by a guy she used to date and he apparently tried to break into her window on the 2nd floor 4 days ago. Helllllooooooo Drama! I am seriously scared that the nut might try to come back and get into the house and do something stupid. I'm thinking of getting the police involved. I refuse to be a Lifetime movie.

Additionally, I had an employment opportunity present itself and then seemingly slip away.....

Finally, my boyfriend has been acting peculiar for the last week and I don't know how to approach this. I have not had a conversation with him lasting more than 2 minutes for the pastOn the one hand, if he is doing anything dubious I will cut his balls off. On the other hand if it's simply a case of him needing space, why can't he be a grown up and say it?? I guess that would require too much maturity :(

Monday, August 21, 2006

A Heaving Yelping of Reviews

I like D.C. and I also like to go out to different establishments in D.C. So when I learned about Yelp, I decided to join. Now, this isn't a walking advertisement. I just think that this is a really cool website and it allows you to write reviews of your favorite places in D.C. Think of it as a more interactive version of Craigslist and AOL City Guide.

I've written a few reviews but the one that seems to get the "funny" tags is this one I wrote about Clarendon Ballroom:

"Ugg why does this place charge a cover?? For Wed $1 beer its only $1-2 cover, but some nights it is more. On the weekends the DJ plays awful music in the main dance hall when there isn't a band. Like I really want to hear MC Hammer on a night out on the town! And the clientele is your typical Arlington Fratty McFrat Rho Di Kegga Class of 04. The only saving grace is the rooftop because hey, who doesn't like to drink on a rooftop?"

I wrote this in April and I haven't been to Ballroom all summer. Has anything really changed at the Ballroom? Is there still bad dancing and average looking guys??

Friday, August 18, 2006

Friday Boobies

An oldie but goodie:

She just makes it sooo easy! She gets a 0 for being fake fake fake and drugged out out out.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Birthday Week, Part Deux and Restaurant Week

It's been a very busy bday week in VP land!

Monday - Went to Acadiana for lunch. Malibu Ken took me to Georgia Browns for the first restaurant Week** dinner stop. I received drop dead gorg flowers (I have a pic on my camera but a) can't find the cable to upload, boooo; b) even if I had the cable Blogger is preventing me from uploading pics). At dinner we sat near another woman who shared by bday.

Tuesday - Tons of bday wishes from friends and family continue to come in. Spoke with my Grandma on the phone who is too cute. She just got her first cell phone and was joking about sending text messages. I also went to Kathryn's Pilates class and got my ass kicked!

Wednesday - Stopped by Tapatinis for their new promo "Ladies Drink Free Wine from 5-9pm and Try to Avoid Getting Hit on by Smooth, Older Black Gentlemen" night. Well, that's what they should have called it. Actually, the free wine was legit so I will definitely be returning. Then I went a few blocks over to my friend's house for our monthly W&M dinner. The theme this month was "Mexican Fiesta" so we had tacos, burritos, guac, Coronas, and nachos. Tre authentic!

Thursday (today) - My work hosts a lunch for the month's bdays so today I get all the Papa John's I want. Tonight I have a dinner date with an old friend at Corduroy. I heard the scallops are to die for and its all local, seasonal products. Basically my goal this week is to not gain 100 lbs by eating massive amounts of yummy food.


*So a quick note on Restaurant Week:

For the last ResWeek in January '06 I went to two places- 1789 and Galileo. My post about it is here. Basically, 1789 was HAWT and Malibu Ken and I were able to sit in the main room by the fireplace, the food was awesome, and the service impeccable. Try the lamp chops.

Galileo on the other hand was very disappointing. Everyone's food came out lukewarm. As if they didn't heat it up enough in the microwave or it was sitting out away from any kind of heat lamp. I wasn't impressed with the flavors, nor the service.

So coming back to Georgia Brown's this past Monday. It was delicious! They had a special menu where you could select from two options for each entree. For my appetizer I selected a shrimp cocktail kabob with a rum sauce glaze and mango chunks. It was pretty good but I wish the shrimp kabob was a hot dish. MK opted to order from the regular menu and got a bowl of she-crab soup. I can say that the soup was probably the most tasty part of the night. It was very thick but not overpowering.

The main course for me was a New York Strip steak with goat cheese and peppercorn and a grits cake. Outstanding, really. The steak was done to perfection and the goat cheese was a nice compliment to the tangy peppercorn. I don't even like grits, but the grit cake had a firmer texture that reminded me of a tater tot. MK opted for the fried chicken on top of garlic mashed potatoes with collard greens. The boy loves food anyway but he really likes fried chicken and said it was delicious.

For dessert I had an apple tart and MK had a pecan chocolate pie. My tart was OK, but MK's was sooo rich and decadent.

Overall, I was very impressed with Georgia Brown's and would take just about anyone there to enjoy their scrumptious food. The service was very very good as well.

So where have you all gone/will go for DC's Restaurant Week???

Monday, August 14, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Birthday week continues tonight with dinner at Georgia Browns. Should be delicious. I had a party in my honor on Saturday where I-66 and Virgle Kent represented (pics to come later) and a wonderful lunch with my family at Carrabbas yesterday (seriously, the BEST Italian food out there).

And now drumroll please for the winners of "Ode to a VP":

Grand Prize:

I-66 - my "half-bro." Congrats! Check your email tomorrow for prize redemption!

Half sister of mine
Best boobs of all DC blogs
Happy birthday, you.

Runner up:
O-FACE
*Fingers snap 4 times
Sky is blue for the frost of heaven
Life is clear for the toss of newness
Friday Boobies are a weekly ritual in my hell
Vinegar taste delicious on fries

Second Runner up:
Needtsza
Leo Leo
Lioness Dream
Krotchity King of Kazoombas

Friday, August 11, 2006

Friday Boobies

Happy Friday Boobies! This is a groundbreaking day because we have our first Boobies repeat. And I think the lady is quite deserving:

For her first post, I wrote that Heidi Klum is the most photogenic person on earth. I also gave her a score of 8, but after seeing these pics I'm going to upgrade her to a 9. Bonus points for having two kids (these pics were taking recently, probably during her first trimester because she is now expecting her third child). She is definitely one of my faves!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Ode to a VP



In honor of my bday week, which begins Aug 12, I invite all of you wonderful bloggers to submit odes in my honor. So create your best poems, haikus, lyrical ballads, sestinas, sonnets, epics, or limericks. The theme - ME, the VP of Dior.

You have until Monday Aug 14 at 9am to submit. The top 3 winners will be selected and posted. The grand prize winner will receive my love and adoration. The runner-up will just receive my adoration (can't spread my love too thin!) and maybe a jpeg of my boobs. Good luck and god speed!

Bonus points for Beatnik style renditions via a YouTube clip!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

What does my reflection show?

This is my 200th post. As a milestone post I couldn't help but think about my growing pains and experiences these last 6 months. I'll be 24 in 1 week, and already feeling mighty old ;)

In the last six months I made the leap to a new job, met more blogger friends, got rid of some old friends, joined a gym, lost weight, came to realize that my little bro ain't so little, and basically overall I have tried to be a good person.

The last six months I have focused on my relationship with Malibu Ken and invested effort unseen in any of my previous relationships. There have been nights where I chose to hang out with him because I couldn't imagine not being in his arms and there have been other times when I felt obligated to be by his side. I have considered moving to another city with him. I've considered moving to another city without him. I've endured days and weeks at a time with not seeing him because of his job. I've gotten jealous of him looking at other girls. A lot. He's gotten mad because of other guys looking at me. We've gotten into one major fight - and the look in his eyes that spelled out the hurt made me never want to fight again. I've felt my heart soften in ways I couldn't believe it would. I've become a tad less selfish. I've expressed my displeasure with his family's beliefs and behavior. I've cried myself to sleep at night because of the pressure. I've been depressed for weeks and unable to express this to him. Hell, I'm crying right now just thinking about all of this. I've tried to get him to see that relationships are not always a cakewalk and just because our personalities are laidback does not mean our relationship will always be that way.

So this leads me to question this relationship, and question myself even more concerning how I behave and how I have evolved into myself. I don't want this relationship to define me right now. But what happens as I grow and change while MK grows and changes in a different direction? How will I pick up the pieces if this doesn't last? How wonderful would it be to grow and change together? I'm not sure which circumstance scares me more....

Friday, August 04, 2006

Friday Boobies

Happy Friday Boobies!

I have to admit, I was not sold on Anne Hathaway until I saw The Devil Wears Prada. In that movie she finally appeared grown up and with those boobies shows no sign of The Princess Diaries days:



Her d├ęcolletage looks lovely. If any of you have seen her controversial movie Havoc, then you know you see a lot more than what you see here. I'm going to give her and her graceful boobies a 6.5.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Personal Space

Earlier today I went to the Subway on H St where I often like to micro-manage the creation of my sandwich of choice, usually a Spicy Italian on Hearty Italian w/ tomatoes, onions, spinach, peppers, oil & vinegar, and spicy mustard - NO LETTUCE. I swear to god those sandwich "artists" always reach for the lettuce like babies reach for a tit and DUMP a pound of lettuce on top of my delicious provolone, pepperoni, and ham..why ruin it? WHY??

Ahem...anyway, this Subway is undoubtedly the smallest Subway in the US (sq footage on 1 floor criteria). The minute you enter the door you are squished between the right edge of the counter and those standing in line. I was waiting patiently in line when two women entered and instead of going in line behind me like most normal people would, they stood beside me to my right. They stood very close to me for no apparent reason other than they clearly don't believe in personal space. I listened for an accent because maybe they were European and not at all about personal space. Nope, they were definitely American. I took a shift to my left and scooted up a bit but one women just moved closer to me and was practically in my ear. So I try to ignore this but instead gave her a dirty look to imply, "Back the eff up." But she only came closer. To bring it all home she turned to her friend and said, "This morning I woke up and felt gross. I think I'm coming down with something." Great, I've got bird flu lady right beside me breathing in my ear and making me anxious in this enclosed space. So again I tried to scoot up away from her and order my sandwich in peace. I was successful in preventing her from breathing all over my Spicy Italian and had a wonderful lunch. I think I might return tomorrow, armed with Lysol and a big bag to keep my personal space at a premium!