Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday Boobies - 90210 Edition

Donna Martin, who are you fooling with these implants?? We know how you looked back when you were kissing David at the Peach Pit. And yeah that was ten years ago and one's body is still maturing, yada yada yada. But honey these are big, bad implants that do not fit your frame:

I do believe that this week's solar eclipse was actually caused by these implants. Donna, you get a 0.5

P.S. - Maybe Donna's implants are also contributing to my writer's block? This week I've come up with nothing, nada, zilch. Hopefully the gorg weather and DC happenings this weekend will illicit something to write about. Until then, enjoy the weather and avoid tourists at all cost!!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Mullets:2, VP of Dior:0

This past weekend I had the honor of seeing The Cult at a sold-out show at the 930 club. Let me tell you, those old Brits rock. My ears are still ringing. I never thought I would hear "She Sells Sactuary" live, but I have and that makes me happy ( some of you may remember the song from Pretty In Pink or some other 80's coming of age film).

My mission that night, as I chose to accept it, was two-fold. First, I HAD to get Ben's Chili Bowl. My chili-cheese dog and cheese fries did not disappoint. Although I think the cook blatantly flirting with me in front of MK did not bode well. The second part of the mission was to count the number of mullets at the concert. Surprisingly I only counted two but hey it was dark. I did however count two badly permed-big bangs hairdos in the space of about 5 min in the bathroom. One woman was actually ratting and teasing as I looked on in horror. The image still haunts me.....

Friday, March 24, 2006

Friday Boobies

Good Friday bloglings! Per requests from Twoste and BLS, today's Friday Boobies features Alyson Hannigan from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", American Pie, and "How I Met Your Mother" fame. Twoste brought to my attention that today is Ms. Hannigan's birthday and she was born in D.C. Also she is funny and talented. I like this girl! What I like even more is the saucy picture that shows off her petite frame and cute bosom:

I'm giving Ms. Hannigan 2 snaps in a Z formation and a score of 7. Happy Birfday Alyson!

p.s. - I bet even Alyson would be jealous if she knew I was going to see The Cult tonight at the 9:30 club. Anyone want to put in a guess of the number of mullets I count tonight???

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Well Helllloooo Mr. Mondavi

I hate this week with the fire of a thousand herpes sores. I've worked 10 hour days, my mom is moving to a new house which means hard labor for me, MK is away on business for four days, my roommates are obnoxious, and I owe on my taxes. I'm not bitching, but ya know sometimes God tests you and makes you reach deep down inside to pull out.....ah yes the Robert Mondavi Reserve. Cabernet Sauvignon. Yes, I will make it through this week.

Monday, March 20, 2006

I'm In Luv Wit a Stripper

First, the song that this post's title comes from is so cheesy...

Second, I am kinda in love with a stripper.

Last Friday night I ventured out with Malibu Ken and friends to celebrate his b-day and maybe St. Patty's day. We started out in Arlington then went to the fine establishment called Camelot. I've been to strip clubs before (and found them quite interesting) but I was unsure how I would react being there with my boyfriend. As soon as we got there and seated ourselves with a prime view, and with the drinks flowing, all was good. I actually went up to the stage more than MK, and I think he got a real kick out of that. One particular stripper, whose name I did not catch, was downright captivating. I couldn't believe I was standing there getting sucked in. She was a tall brunette and the minute she flipped her hair in my face I was smitten. Her hair smelled like roses...mmm....Anyway she was nice and talked to me for a bit, but as soon as she started to flirt with MK I had to cut short the stage visit. It was a very fun night and it's funny how going to a strip club can get a couple all geared up for later on ;)

The rest of the weekend was pretty low key, with George Mason pulling the upset thereby SCREWING UP my bracket and there was a visit to Elevation Burger in Falls Church. Anyone else been there? The burgers are made out of Virginia Kobe beef and are very fresh. The shakes are killer too. I recommend it!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Friday Boobies - Non Irish Edition

Happy Friday and Happy St. Patrick's Day. Frankly I'm not a fan of St. Patrick's Day or Irish culture and drinking Jameson or Guiness makes me want to vomit (but don't fret I will still be going out tonight and drinking a lot in honor of Malibu Ken's b-day). I tried to think of Irish people of note to feature today, but all I could come up with was James Joyce or some old actress on Masterpiece Theater. I'm sure you will thank me for not going down that route, as I have decided to jump to the country of Brazil for our Friday Boobies lady. This young lass is hot, has a great natural body, and is sure to get your shamrocks in a bunch. Seriously what is in the water in Brazil???? Recently she indicated to GQ that she is a virgin. There's no way I can believe this. I mean look at her:

This is Adriana Lima, of Victoria's Secret fame and apparently she's not out there having sex with Lenny Kravitz (who she was engaged to). OK, I know that just because you have a killer body and boobs doesn't mean you have to be out there slutting it out (looking at you Scarlett Johannsen). And I guess she will have something special to share with her husband, but.... I just don't know. Her willpower must be ENORMOUS to not have sex with Lenny Kravitz. But I'm still a fan of hers and will give her bosom a 7.

So from now on, March 17 will not only be known as St. Pat's Day or my wonderful boyfriend's birthday, it shall also be HAPPY BRAZILIAN VIRGIN DAY!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

My New Crush

This afternoon I was fortunate enough to attend an in-studio session at this blogger's place of employment. The session was with my new fave crush, Ben Harper. My friend and I were up close and personal with Mr. Harper, who I swear had me swooning the minute he walked into the room. He is so talented and his voice is so sweet. And his bone structure!! Grrrrr baby. He's got a new double CD coming out next Tuesday and I can't wait to listen to it. Thanks Chase for the awesome opportunity!

Last night I missed the blogger HH :( I've been so busy at work and doing things I've put off until the last minute. Like getting my car serviced, grocery shopping (maybe this is good I have no food because I've lost 5 pounds this month), applying for a government job, laundry, house cleaning, burning a mix CD, and shopping for a b-day gift for Malibu Ken. His b-day is tomorrow so it gives me another reason to celebrate on March 17. For his gift I decided upon a gift certificate for a free round of golf during Prime hours at Pinehurst Golf Course in Annandale. I think he'll really like this - I'm earning mad cool girlfriend points!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Happy Hump Day - Be Happy You Aren't A Couple Edition

Now THERE'S a couple that knows how to fight!
Tue Mar 14, 2006 09:36 AM ET

MEXICO CITY(Reuters) - A Mexican couple were recovering separately after a marital spat got out of control and saw them firing guns, throwing knives and hurling homemade bombs, Mexican daily Milenio said on Monday.

In scenes taken straight out of hit romantic comedy "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Juan Espinosa and Irma Contreras fought until their house blew up in a homemade gasoline bomb explosion, Milenio said.

Police called to the home in the indigenous Mayan Indian town of Oxkutzcab in the southeastern state of Yucatan arrested Espinosa. Contreras was taken to hospital with third-degree burns.
A local police official confirmed the report but declined to provide further information.

In the violence-filled movie about the fictional Smiths, Pitt and Jolie play married assassins ordered to kill each other.

Espinosa told reporters he was glad his wife had suffered burns, while Contreras said she was only sorry she had not "hacked off his manhood" during the fight.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Augusta, Gone

Last night I watched "Augusta, Gone" on Lifetime (Monday night's are awful for primetime TV). This is my fave new dramatic made-for-TV movie. Augusta is a young teenage girl who has entered into the "rebellion years." Her mom, played by Sharon Lawrence, tries to attribute her daughter's behavior to simple teenage angst. But then crazy ass Augusta loses her damn mind and cuts her hair, starts dunking Oreos in vodka, skipping school, smoking cigarettes, dropping acid, drawing morbid art, yelling at her mother, teaching her younger brother the proper technique for smoking a joint, sneaking out of the house and making very ill-advised fashion choices (fingerless gloves???? camo pants and satin jacket?!?! oh dear). Superb acting indeed with melodramatic voice-overs as well. Augusta gets sent to a camp for "bad teens." I don't know about these camps, but I do know that if I flipped out on my mom and disobeyed the rules, she would have put me in a chokehold, dragged my belligerent ass outside, and called the cops to report a "stranger" outside her house. The locks would be changed and my belongings thrown out with the Sunday paper. My mom always laid down the law and I think Augusta could have learned a thing or too from her!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Water, Water Everywhere and Not a Damn Drop Out of My Faucet

OK, since about 3pm today, there has been no water service in Arlington County and parts of Northwest D.C. I thought it was something wrong with our water valve, but as it turns out there was a major water main break around Chain Bridge ( NBC4) . Great. When we (Malibu Ken and I) woke up this morning there was water and we decided to be grungy and go to Hangover Haven ( Whitlow's). When we got home we put off showering for awhile to do other "things". So as soon as I'm getting ready to take a shower the water goes off. Now I'm off to drag my dirty ass down to Woodbridge to Mom's house to pick up something and hopefully get a shower. A recap of the rest of the weekend will come soon. As soon as I can wash my grimy fingers.....

UPDATE: Got a nice shower at Mom's and returned back to Arlington at 9:00PM to watch Sopranos and was happy to see the water has returned. My clean and fresh fingers are now free to type :)

Friday, March 10, 2006

Friday Boobies

You know what Disneyworld and Friday Boobies have in common? Both are places where dreams come true. Last week Aja requested Monica Belluci and now we have a request from Kathryn to feature Heidi "The Body" Klum. Pregnant Heidi looked beautiful during Project Runway 2 and on the season finale she looked great after giving birth to baby #2. I've always thought she had a healthy looking body with curves and definition in the right places - and she's got serious boobies. She's also one of the most photogenic person I've seen, EVER. Basically she hit the mother-effin genetic jackpot. I'm giving her boobies an 8. Just look at the photographic evidence. Kathryn requested an image of Heidi in the black Kors dress she wore on the PR 2 finale. I couldn't find a really good shot but this is her backstage:

And for exhibit B, here is an uber-adorable shot that was probably pre-babies:

All hail "The Body"!

I hope everyone has a great weekend doing outdoorsy type stuff in the lovely weather (P.S. Shamrock Fest is Saturday in Ballston)! Pack up your sweaters and let the boobies come out this weekend (but not too much)!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Reality TV Induced Coma

"I feel like a penis with ears." - Kathy, America's Next Top Model 6

Oh that pretty much sums up last night's onslaught of reality TV. A bit ridiculous but somewhat enjoyable. Between America's Next Top Model, American Idol, Project Runway, Black/White, and Top Chef my remote control got a workout.

First, the new season of ANTM. Tyra, Miss J. Alexander and Jay Manuel are all back. Jay Manuel looked like an Oompaloompa who got stranded in a Sephora store. Girlfriend was wearing lipliner and gloss!

Anyway, the finalists selected are all unique looking which I like. Thank god the immature, young, and ignorant Dani did not make the final cut. The fact that she said she didn't like gay people was completely ignorant and HELLO you want to work in the fashion industry. But let's talk about people I like. Nnenna seems to be the front runner. She is FLAWLESS. I also like Jade. I want her cheekbones.

One of the challenges in the episode was a mock press conference - and Janice Dickinson was there! Yay! I'm glad we didn't have to wait until the middle of the season for Janice time. Also on the mock panel was Trey Smith. I'm pretty sure he's Will Smith's oldest son but they did not mention that. I guess he's trying to "make his own name." I think this will be an interesting season.

On to Project Runway. **SPOILER ALERT**I got it wrong. I predicted Santino would win because I had seen picture stills of his collection before last night's episode. I found his clothes to be pretty and akin to something Lindsay HoHan or another starlet might wear. I found Daniel V.'s line to be a bit boring and there was no real cohesive theme. Although the bags he made were kick-ass. Chloe's line was pretty as well and I liked the color scheme, but I thought it looked very ready-to-wear-Tarjay like. Nothing wrong with that of course but I would expect something more from America's next big designer. But she does cut a mean dress that fits a woman's curves - thus Chloe was picked as the winner of PR2.

Now that PR is over, Bravo is unrolling 2 new reality shows, one of which came last night. Top Chef is a competition for chefs and culinary mavens and looks to be intense. I haven't decided if I'm going to invest time in this one, but something one of the chef's did last night bothered me A LOT. While working the line in the kitchen he was instructed by the hardcore French chef to taste a sauce before drizzling it over a dish. The chef then proceeds to dip his bare finger into the pan, lick his finger to taste the sauce, and continue cooking. EWW EWWW EWWWWWW. The French chef gave him hell about that and later he was eliminated from the competition. Now, I've worked in restaurants as a waitress and I know things like this happen, but you just don't want to see it. And especially because these contestants are supposed to be top chefs one would think they would follow the strictest rules of sanitary and professional guidelines. It made me not want to go out to eat!

Last show I want to discuss is FX's Black/White. The show's premise is to take one black and one white family, use professional Hollywood makeup to make them into another race and then see how their views on race relations change. I didn't watch much of the show but what stuck out the most is how the make up did not really do a good job of changing the person's race. The white dad who was made into a black man looked just like C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man.

(Horrible movie and totally unrealistic make up job to turn C. Thomas Howell into a black man so he can get a college scholarship.) I think if I saw the Black/White families out in public I would do a double take and comment on how peculiar they look. Maybe I'm just extra observant... did anyone else watch this show?

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Gay SuperBowl

Hope everyone had a great weekend! Saturday I caught a member of this family doing a bad bad thing at Stetson's. I also went to Chi-Cha Lounge for the first time. I found the place pretty enjoyable but the bartenders were downright rude and looked quite unklassy in their wifebeaters. I might have to add this establishment to my list of classless places that pretend to be THE shit.

Yesterday I finally got a chance to sit down with the lovely Chase for a brunch date. I had a great time and Chase probably thinks I'm an alcoholic..... is it my fault the Front Page serves an almost full pint glass of vodka for the Bloody Mary bar???

Last night I went to a friend's place to watch the Oscars, aka Gay SuperBowl. I really enjoyed the show and Jon Stewart, unlike the Post's Tom Shales who slammed Stewart. I gotta give it up for my fellow alumnus Stewart - I thought he was funny and kept it short. Best moment of the night - "Dames For Truth Against Dame Judi Dench" spoof. Biggest shock of the night? It's a tie between Three Six Mafia winning and Crash beating out Brokeback for best film. Honestly, it's a little ridickulous that a group who penned the song "Chickenhead" now has an Oscar attached to their name but whatev. And in my opinion Crash was a very good film that deserved to win.

But let's get to the good stuff: best dressed. I don't have time to post pics now but my vote for best dressed was Keira Knightly and Salma Hayek. Both had beautiful colors on. Worst dressed? Ohh poor Charlize Theron. Couture has gone to her head (see also Gwen Stefani as couture victim). Theron looked like the Grim Reaper attacked her with a black blob all over her shoulder. Also, poor poor Naomi Watts who lost the battle against her flesh colored chiffon mess and Jennifer Aniston who wore black and still looked like she was mourning over Brad Pitt. Who was everyone else's best and worst dressed?

Friday, March 03, 2006

Friday Boobies

I've mentioned a few times before a guy I dated in college who is the love of my life. One thing that always stuck out in my mind was his statement that, "Monica Bellucci is the ideal woman." (For those not familiar with her movies she was in a number of Italian films as well as The Matrix 2+3, and Passion of the Christ playing Mary Magdalene. ) Well, I am not Monica Bellucci, therefore I am not is ideal woman. So I really want to dislike Bellucci. But it's hard to not like her when she is visually stunning and seems pretty humble. The breasts are real and so is her appeal. And plus Thicky requested I feature her so I'm honoring that request. I'm giving Bellucci's breasts a 9. I'll let the pics speak for themselves:

Good Music and Fuggings of Dire Proportions

I had a longer post but Blogger and my IP had a battle and Blogger won.

Take 2.

Coldplay and Fiona Apple last night. Excellent. Fiona did a pretty short set and her voice sounded great. I really hoped that she would get pissed off mid way through and yell, "This world is bullshit!", and then storm off the stage. Alas, she was actually pretty humble.

After Fiona finished I called Kathryn and played "Spot the Blogger" from across the arena. Let's be real - it's not hard to spot a black girl at a Coldplay concert :)

While talking to Kathryn I also surveyed the general crowd and came to the conclusion that The Mischa Barton/Nicole Richies of the world are terrible fashion icons to young girls. The force of the fug was strong in there - one too many pairs of Uggs topped off with ill advised leggings, jean skirts, boots tucked into jeans, and ballet flats. When will the hipsters learn?!?!! WHEN?!!??!?

On to the highlight of the evening - Coldplay's inspired and enjoyable show. Overall I would say their energy was not lagging, despite drawing attention to the fact that they drank tequila the night before (yesterday was also Chris Martin's birthday). And for being on the second leg of a tour they were pretty fresh. The way Coldplay uses lights, live camera feeds and screen images to give a visual component to their songs is astonishing. It made me view the songs in a different way - a good way. My personal faves from the show were "Talk", "X & Y" and "Til Kingdom Come/Ring of Fire." Yep they played a Cash tune. Upon further research I discovered that "Til Kingdom Come" was written for Cash but he died before he could record it. So Coldplay recorded it in Cash's honor. That's what I like about this band - always aware of their roots and always committed to making music they enjoy. And Martin has a cute little 'fro too. :)

"X & Y"
I dive in at the deep end
She become my best friend
I wanna love you
but I don't know if I can
I know something is broken
and I'm trying to fix it
Trying to repair it anyway I can....

Thursday, March 02, 2006

On Tonight's Menu: Modestly Inoffensive Vanilla Music

Tonight I will be attending the Coldplay/Fiona Apple* concert at the MCI/Verizon/Next Big Telecommunications Conglomerate/Fuck We Have to Get New Signage for the Metro Stop Center. I do really like Coldplay (especially the first 2 albums) but they were accused of playing it safe on the latest CD "X & Y". The more I listen to it though, the more I like it. Our seats are really good but we did pay 90 effin dollars for them. I better be so close to the stage that I can see Chris Martin's "Free Trade" sharpie-colored hand tattoo smearing away. I better be so close that I can touch Fiona Apple's razor-sharp clavicle (I swear that girls needs to embrace carbs. She's the original Nicole Richie... although she did look healthy at the Grammys).

On another concert related note I am upset that 2 upcoming 930 shows are sold-out. First, the brazenly hyped Brit band Arctic Monkeys that I knew about before anyone else and of course no one else in the U.S. can claim this because I'm too cool for those not in the know. But seriously I could have gotten tics when it was a soft sale but I didn't think the show would sell out when it did. It's my own damn fault. The other concert that I am sincerely HEARTBROKEN over is the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I didn't check my email fast enough this morning to get the notice that tics were going on sale. The show sold out in about 30 mins I think and I've been sulking at my desk ever since. Sigh, I suppose I'll have to start trolling Craigslist again for tics.

Last night was a good TV night as usual. American Idol was somewhat entertaining and Lost was probably the best installment of the season so far. I found myself saying "Holy Shit" many times during the episode. I won't give too much away for those who haven't watched it yet but remember Ethan, the guy who clearly wasn't on the plane but appeared on the island? Yeah he's definitely an "Other" and he was part of a team doing crazy experiments on Claire when she was kidnapped. Unfortch, the next episode is not for another 3 WEEKS. Grr. Moving on to Project Runway I am very impressed by Santino and I predict he's going to win with his 40's glam inspired line. He's just the guy you love to hate but judging from pics I've seen of the runway show his line kicks ass. And with that, Auf Wiedersehen**!

* I thought I heard a rumor that Fiona Apple was not the opener tonight, but nothing has been presented to support this rumor. If anyone here's the latest info please let me know.

**I was born in Germany and used to speak a bit of the language but for the life of me I cannot spell "Wiedersehen" without looking it up.