Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Help Those Affected by Hurricane Katrina

In light of the recent hurricane, I hope everyone keeps those in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama in their prayers. I can't imagine losing loved ones and seeing a town completely ravaged. Please visit Network For Good to make donations or find how you can help with the relief efforts, even if it's just a small contribution. From today's Washington Post:

New Orleans Filling With Floodwaters Due to Breached Levee
By Peter Whoriskey and William Branigin

NEW ORLEANS, Aug. 30 -- Hurricane Katrina and its rains have passed, but this city is filling with floodwaters.

The sense of relief that residents felt Monday morning when the city was not immediately inundated by a storm surge overflowing its protective levees was replaced late Monday night and Tuesday morning with dread because of a levee that was damaged by the hurricane.

Water flowing from the damaged levee near Lake Pontchartrain could have equally catastrophic effects, only unfolding more slowly.

Water levels in Lake Pontchartrain and the connecting 17th Street Canal are normally six feet higher than the surrounding city. The levees keep the waters from flowing down into this low-lying city, much of which is below sea level.

The damage to the 17th Street Canal and its levee means that the water from Lake Pontchartrain is now free to flow down to inundate hundreds of thousands of homes and other buildings here.

Once it flows in, the water will not drain from New Orleans because of the very levees that protect the city and that largely held during the hurricane. Those levees, built to keep water out, are now keeping the water in, and reports from across the city indicate that water levels are rising.

Authorities plan to use helicopters to drop 3,000-pound sandbags into the breach in the damaged levee, the Associated Press reported. The breach is said to be about 200 feet long. There were reports Tuesday that other levees may also have given way in the hours since the storm passed.

New Orleans normally uses pumps to get the water out when necessary, but the city has been without power since the hurricane struck with 140-mph winds around daybreak Monday.

It is difficult to know how many people are threatened because of the mass evacuation before Hurricane Katrina. A caller to a local radio station reported that the flood water in her New Orleans home was rising and that she couldn't swim. Boating is rapidly becoming the best way to travel here.

If the water keeps rising and cuts off power from emergency generators, the Tulane University Hospital and Clinic might have to evacuate, a spokeswoman said on CNN.

The levee damage was first noticed during an assessment flight Monday afternoon, but its extent and significance were not immediately understood. By late Monday, the rising water levels here have made its significance apparent.

The rising floodwaters in the city of 485,000 people were preventing residents from returning to their homes.

At the Superdome, designated by Mayor Ray Nagin as one of 10 refuges of last resort for people who were unable to evacuate, National Guard troops allowed dozens of refugees to sleep on the walkway surrounding the huge building as conditions inside deteriorated, but authorities refused to let them leave.

As many as 10,000 people took shelter in the Superdome starting Sunday when Nagin ordered the mandatory evacuation of the city. As the hurricane struck Monday morning, the high winds tore off much of the outer skin covering the Superdome's 9.7-acre roof and punched two holes clear through it, allowing rainwater to leak in.

By Tuesday, bathrooms were filthy, trash barrels were overflowing and stadium aisles and steps were slick with humidity because of the lack of air conditioning since the power failed during Katrina's onslaught. Under those conditions, some of the refugees were allowed to take their bedding out onto the concourse to cool off and breathe some fresh air."

One group was dismayed to hear on a newscast that authorities in suburban Jefferson Parish were not allowing residents to return until next Monday, the Associated Press reported. The group groaned, and one woman cried.

"I know people want to leave, but they can't leave," said Gen. Ralph Lupin, a National Guard commander at the Superdome, the AP reported. "There's three feet of water around the Superdome."

Doug Thornton, a regional vice president for the company that manages the Superdome, said two people have died there, the news service reported. He did not provide details.

"The city of New Orleans is in a state of devastation," Mayor Ray Nagin told local television station WWL last night. "We probably have 80 percent of our city under water," in some places as deep as 20 feet. He said both airports were under water, and people were on roofs awaiting rescue.

Many residents are desperate to return to their homes, Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco said on ABC Tuesday morning. However, she said, "in most cases, it is totally impossible for them to get in. The streets are inundated with water. The devastation is vast. And there's really -- there's nothing they can do."

Michael Brown, director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, warned in an interview on CBS that residents may not be able to return to their homes anytime soon. In some places, he said, "it's going to be weeks at least before people can get back."

Monday, August 29, 2005

Delayed Shittification

After such a wonderful weekend (more on that later) I knew my good streak had to end at some point. Hence why I had a ri-goddamn-diculous dramatic time in Georgetown tonight.

So I meet some friends to go to Cilantro for 1/2 price mojitos and tapas. I park right on M street and meet R. R tells me that his car just broke down, but conveniently he was already in his parking spot. So he calls Geico/ AAA and they tell him a tow truck will be there in an hour. OK, we decide to drink until the tow truck comes. About an hour later the tow truck comes and the driver is a litttttllllleeeeee slow on the uptake. He takes forever to figure out how to get the car out of the spot, then proceeds to block the northbound lanes of M ST. Massive honking ensues. So I go into Intermix to look around for a bit and I come out to see a haggard man laying on the ground. Apparently there was a bum fight. Yes a bum fight in Georgetown. An ambulance and cop car soon arrive and now onlookers have gathered around the area where R's car is. Great.

Then the tow truck driver tells R that it's extra to tow to VA, even though it's closer to the Brookland location he was going to take the car. So now R's car is somewhere in ghetto ass NE.

On the way back to my car I drop my phone and the camera breaks off the side. Unbelievable. So the phone was still working, but as soon as someone called me the phone screen went blank. Delayed shittification. I had no idea who was calling me. Luckily it was someone I wanted to talk to, but how the hell am I supposed to screen my phone calls now?!?!!? Now I'm ghetto-fab with a band-aid connecting my camera to the phone. I LOVE D.C.

So the good part was this weekend. Saturday I ran around all day, first to Eastern Market, then back to Arlington, back to Cap Hill for a birthday dinner, then to Falls Church for a show at the State Theater. It's such a fun little venue. I met Malibu Ken there, and then my roommates showed up. I realized that we were all coupled up and it felt kinda weird. Like I normally hate couples who only go out with other couples. - as if single people are of no interest to them.

Dave ended up staying over Saturday because we planned on spending the day in D.C. tourist-style. We went to the Hirshorn, Natural History museum, IMAX at Smithsonian, and the National Archives. My favorite exhibit was the Gems and Minerals where some fab jewels of the world are shown. I've always loved going there to see the Hope Diamond in all it's glory:

The Hope Diamond

Elizabeth Taylor's Pearl and Diamond necklace by Cartier

Gorgeous sapphire and diamond necklace

"Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke...."

After we got home I cooked a little something something from the Everyday Italian Cookbook. Dinner was rigatoni with asparagus, prosciutto, mozzarella, and basil with the side of zucchini baked in fontina, romano, and mozzarella.

Everything was delish. Malibu Ken loved all of it and I felt pretty proud of myself for not burning anything!

Upgrade/Downgrade - VMAs Edition

* P.Diddy hosting – quite boring and he looked like a thugged out-amped on red bull and vodka-fake ass Amadeus when he was “directing” the orchestra during the Biggie tribute. And did anyone see his shirt that said, “New Negro”? WTF? Please don’t try to take back words that are offensive and turn it into cool street gear. – DOWNGRADE

* Performances by Green Day, Kelly Clarkson, The Killers, and Kanye – UPGRADE

* 50 Cent/ Fat Joe fist-a-cuffs – early in the show Fat Joe made a comment about G-Unit bringing so much security. Then at the end of 50’s performance, he dissed Fat Joe and called him a pussy. On national television. This is not the Vibe awards, please stop being ghetto. I guess Fat Joe was hungry for a pupusa and 50 was suffering from ‘roid rage (did you see his jacked arms???) – DOWNGRADE

* Kelly Clarkson taking the mic mobile-style and getting soaking wet – UPGRADE

* R. Kelly – I think his singing voice was trapped in the closet because he gave one of the worst lip synching performances ever. I’m gonna say it was worse than Milli Vanilli’s. He wasn’t even trying to match his mouth up to the words. And the “bedroom set” looked like it was straight from Nationwide Warehouse. – DOWNGRADE

* The return of Beavis and Butthead – ehhh I’ll give it an UPGRADE.

*Women’s Fashion – I really can’t say that anyone there looked good. Jessica Simpson’s outfit looked like Little Bo Peep got dropped off on Sunset and found her way to the Hustler store for hot pants. Gwen wore leopard print again. Paris Hilton’s dress looked likes Skittles spit out of a gyroscope. Lindsay Hohan was trying to channel Twiggy and Bridgette Bardou but looked like a glittery doily. – DOWNGRADE

* Oh Eva. You wore a pink bathing suit on stage. And accessorized with a big ‘ol camel toe. – MAJOR DEFCON 3 DOWNGRADE

Everyone knows MTV has gone to shit. This is just further proof. (But I'm not gonna lie, I will continue watching Real World and Laguna Beach....)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

This week, on the D.C. .....

Covering all of your gossip, health and fitness, music, and cultural development needs:

1. Farewell Cap Hill Watering Hole - Capitol Lounge was burned to a bi-partisan crisp on Wednesday. Apparently it was started by an "improperly disposed of cigarette." 'Tis a shame. The bartender was hot and the music jukebox was amazing. Last time I was there I chose "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis and spontaneously started a bar sing-a-long. Who knew that the song would be such an appropriate choice.

Capitol Lounge Gutted by Overnight Fire (DCist)

2. The weather is gorg. I've been running along the GW parkway along with the masses. I don't really enjoy running but it kicks my ass into shape quickly. Monday I ran from Old Town to the Airport for no good reason besides the fact I made a kick-ass playlist on my iPod.

3. RPM, Bludshot, and Jebus @ State Theater Sat. Aug 25 - This should be a pretty good show of all local bands. RPM has a great Roots/Digable Planets/Chili Peppers/ vibe. I've seen them twice and they are highly enjoyable. Jebus have gotten pretty big on the local circuit as well. Shoutout to Bludshot who hail from the mighty Hoodbridge.

4. Playing tour guide to Malibu Ken on Sunday and showing him around the museums. I need to be strategic about the locations because even though I've done the marathon course of major museums in a day, he can't really walk for long distances (no ligament in his knee and all). I'm thinking of starting in the Archive-Navy Memorial area to hit up the Archives and NGA for the Irving Penn exhibit. But it might be easier to stick to the Smithsonian area. Seeing the gemstones collection always makes me happy. Anyone know of good places to eat around the museums that aren't hot dog stands??

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Hounds of Love

When I was a child:
Running in the night,
Afraid of what might be

Hiding in the dark,
Hiding in the street,
And of what was following me...

Now hounds of love are hunting.
I've always been a coward,
And I don't know what's good for me
~Kate Bush

The Hounds of Love are after me. Malibu Ken and I spent a lot of time together this weekend and it was really wonderful.

Friday he was traveling on business all day, but he text messaged me before he got on the plane to come home. I thought, well, that was very thoughtful of him. Then he called me when he landed to let me know he was on his way home. Wow, didn't see that one coming. He wanted to know if I would come over and have a chill night in, but unfortunately I had already told S.Lo that I would go out with her and her sister. I could have very easily been "that" girl and cancelled on my friends, but I decided to call "chicks before dicks" and go out. We went to 1223 (MCXXIII or whatever) where the vibe was mighty lame and the bartender made me order a bottle of water to reach the credit card minimum. Even though I got pretty drunk, the bartender's attitude, as well as the venue was rank. I wish I had stayed in.

On Saturday MK spent most of the day at the River Styx, otherwise known as the DMV. I nursed a slight hangover and rested up until he came over in the afternoon. We had such a chill time watching Simpsons episodes and just talking. So refreshing. Then we went to eat thai, which was very fun and romantic because the food was great and there was a pretty good lounge singer there. Then we went to my place to watch Napolean Dynamite (which I grudgingly admit is marginally funny) followed by VH1's Greatest Hard Rock Artists (I was able to showcase my vast knowledge of British rock bands).

And I started to realize how much I really enjoy his company. There was no drama, no games. Just sharing our interests and having a relaxed time. It's the seemingly simple things that I am starting to appreciate when I'm around him.

Later that night when we were talking he asked me if he was coming over too much (he's been at my house 3 times in the last week). I told him that I enjoy his company and no, I didn't think he was around too much. He asked me if I would be his tour guide and show him some of my favorite spots in D.C., as well as go to a concert because it's his last weekend here for awhile. That made me kinda sad, but also happy that he wants to spend time together before he leaves.

Then we talked about how much his surgery is going to suck but he hopes he'll be 100% by the end of October. He hopes he's OK to fly by then because he has 2 airline vouchers he needs to use by November. Then he asks if I have anything going on in November (I've got one business trip to Chicago) and if I could come on a weekend trip with him.


Weekend trip?

I didn't know what to say. To me it seemed like something you would bring up in a more evolved relationship... something that you do with a girlfriend. I told him that it would be touch and go, mostly depending upon his rehabilitation, but it could be a possibility. This triggered something in my head that made me think that I should be cautious of his intentions. Maybe this is moving too fast? Or am I just being a girl and putting too much meaning behind his nice gesture? I truly believe he's not just feeding me lines, but I have no idea why he would bring something like this up when it's months away. Does he just assume that during his absence our feelings will not change? I am trying to be realistic.....

Le sigh.

Sunday morning we decided to lie in bed reading the WashPo and doing nothing. We eventually got up and cooked some brunch. I was pretty proud of myself for making tasty eggs w/ cheese and onions. Then we watched more Simpsons episodes and had a chill afternoon. He didn't leave until 5 PM.

So I felt quite content and happy after this weekend.

Fast forward to Monday's horoscope via WashPo:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Romance defies conventional logic. There is not one set of guidelines that will work in every relationship. So do what works for you! Sumptuous entertaining is worth the expense -- you will receive multiple social benefits.

Yes, romance here defies anything that I would have expected. I feel like there are no rules or games I can play with him and vice versa. But to use an old term, is this "expiration dating"? Does he feel like our time is limited so we need to cram things in before some inevitable factor comes up? I guess the inevitable factor would be his bigot parents. Where do his parents and family stand? Where does he stand on obeying his parents or choosing to live his own life? These are questions I didn't ask. And I'm not so sure I want to ask them during his last week and a half here. I know I'm delaying the inevitable but I want to enjoy his company while I can. There's so much swirling around in my mind. I feel like The Swirl Margarita at Lauriol Plaza.

So right now I'm mostly happy, but then sometimes I think I'm a hot mess. I've fallen in the proverbial sea of love and I'm clinging to a bouy as we speak. I may be full of contradictions, but I know that I am willing to invest in this relationship.

And he left his shirt here. And it smells like Polo Blue. And I might have slept with this shirt last night. God. Damn. Him.

Friday, August 19, 2005

The Customer's Always Right?

I, like many others, have worked in retail and/or the food service industry where the motto is: "The customer is always right." Even now, as an executive in PR, the motto still applies. But I also know that some people are rude customers who go out of their way to cause trouble. So how do you get even? Call them names of course! The fine folks at Comcast seem to think this is just fine and in a bill mailed to a customer, the customer's name was replaced with "Bitch Dog". Gotta admit this was the funniest thing I've seen all week. From Yahoo:

Wed Aug 17, 8:30 PM ET

LaChania Govan said she got bounced around by her cable company when she called to complain. She made dozens of calls and was even transferred to a person who spoke Spanish — a language she doesn't understand.

But when she got her August bill from Comcast she had no trouble understanding she'd made somebody mad. It was addressed to "Bitch Dog."

.....Govan said the only thing she did to Comcast employees that might be considered rude came after a few dozen calls when she felt she was treated shabbily.

....In another case, Peoples Energy customer Jeffery Barnes started getting letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes."

Hmmm, let's hope I don't get a letter from Washington Gas addressed to "Cunt Whore J*******"

Woman Gets Cable Bill with Derogatory Name (Yahoo)

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, August 18, 2005


In this all media edition: iPods, wireless transmitters, wireless internet, and DVDs.

1. My fab mother gave me an iPod mini (in what else but pink). I am assbirds for it. I've been tooling around with it all week. The iTunes set-up was pretty easy. It's just going to take me awhile to upload songs from my CD collection. I worked out with it on monday and tuesday and actually got excited about getting on a treadmill. When does that ever happen??

"iPod Mini Mini Playlist"
311 - Homebrew
Maximo Park - Postcard of a Painting
The Shins - Caring Is Creepy
Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha
Garbage - You Look So Fine
Jay-Z - Allure (Grey Album remix)
Coldplay - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face
Pearl Jam - Black

2. Does anyone have a Griffin iTrip or Xtreme Mac radio transmitter? Both are about $40, but I've heard good and bad things about each. I would like to be able to use my iPod in the car, especially on long trips.

3. *Warning* - Complaint: My inconsiderate roommate A and his gf L moved the wireless router downstairs when they moved in to the basement. So now the wireless only works in certain spots on the first floor on the right side of the house. Why the hell am I paying for wireless when I am only able to use it while doing an acrobatic pose perched on the side of my bed and wearing tin foil? We've asked them to fix this - but of course they don't care.

4. While looking for accessories for said iPod yesterday at Best Buy, I noticed their sale on the Simpsons Season Six DVD for $29.99. Sweeeet. So I splurged and picked it up. It comes with cool packaging and the classic "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" episode.

"But wait...you can't kill me for being Krusty the Klown. I'm not him...I'm Homer Simpson!"
"The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?"
"Uh, actually, my name is Barney. Yeah, Barney Gumbel."
"The same Barney Gumbel who keeps taking picture of my sister?"
"Uh, actually, my _real_ name is, uh -- think, Krusty, think! -- Joe Valachi!"
"The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about Organized Crime?"
[later]"Benedict Arnold!"
"The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?"

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Current dating dilemma: Malibu Ken will be leaving in 3 weeks to have reconstructive knee surgery. He'll be gone for about 2 months and basically dependent on others to get around. Since he was so nice to me on my birthday I thought I would put together a care package. I have a few ideas, but I feel like guys are so much harder to shop for and besides, I can't really package up a blowjob (which is what they really want). I just need a few items to throw in there that will keep him occupied and provide some humor in his life while he's doing 2 months of rehabiliation. Here are a few ideas:

*Simpsons Season 2 DVD box set - his fave show
*A book - perhaps A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius ?
*Can of walnuts - his fave snack
*Home baked cookies
*Foo Fighters CD - In Your Honor
*Under Armour gear - for workouts?

Anyone have other suggestions? Guys, is there an item you wish a girl would give you? Also, is this whole idea a bit much? We're not even officially dating and this kind of gesture could be considered a "girlfriend duty." God forbid that should happen.....

Monday, August 15, 2005

Back Then They Didn't Want Me, Now I'm 23 Bitches All On Me

Thank you Mike Jones for the lyrical inspiration in the title.

And bigger thanks to everyone who made my weekend so fun. Turning 23 wasn't as bad as I feared.

Saturday was the big day and I started it off right with massive cleaning of my house, then tax-free shopping in Georgetown. By 5 PM my friend C and I were a little parched and headed over to a friends apartment for drinks. Debauchery begins. At the apartment we made Lynchburg Lemonade slushies and played Texas Hold 'Em. I wasn't doing too bad with the game, but oh, my friends we weren't playing with money. The chips equaled shots and one bad hand and a raise resulted in 2 shots of Jager before 6 PM. By the time I got home to get ready I was buzzed and was having difficulties showering...I stumbled out of the shower and realized this was going to be an awesome night.

Pre-gaming started at my house around 8:30 PM and then we all took cabs over to Local 16. First thing - the rooftop was 180 degrees. I had curled my hair, but after being outside for 5 minutes I was a hot mess.

As my friends started arriving and I got more drunk, the shrieking began. Thinking back I remember being loud and jumping up and down whenever I spotted someone. And I was doing the sorority shriek of choice - "oh-myyy-goddd!" I had A LOT to drink people. Now I was told this later by Malibu Ken(who agreed to be my escort and "Kept" man for the evening!), but apparently some people on the rooftop were making fun of me for screaming whenever I spotted a friend. Whatever - suck it. Anyway, as soon as Malibu Ken started giving them dirty looks they shut right up.

Kathryn arrived in fine form, looking not a day over 26 ;) Later the Milkman arrived. I could tell I was really buzzed because I insisted on having the Milkman's hat to strike a pose.

What the fuck am I doing??? Walking ad for Dove Deodorant I guess.

The Milkman, Me, Kathryn

And then the fairest of them all, my wino-partner-in-crime Indecent Offense showed up. More shrieking. It was very apparent that there were some ladies there with very nice boobs. So I documented the occasion.

From left to right: Indecent Offense's bountiful bosom, Kathryn's captivating cleavage, and my delightful decolletage. *Note - this picture was not cropped to remove faces. I took it solely with the intent of capturing breasts, and that's what I got. If you ask, you shall receive.

Also, my friend J's cousin was celebrating her birthday and we exchanged celebratory shrieks. She was turning 29 and made sure to tell me that I was terribly young, but that we should hang out. So we rocked the rooftop all night and before I knew it they were shutting it down. So of course we moved it inside and danced hardcore. I allegedly fell on the dance floor. I cannot confirm or deny this. I also allegedly put my hair in pigtails because my mane was a hot, frizzy mess anyway. Unfortunately I can confirm this.

We ended up staying at Local 16 for quite some time, and finally headed home around 3 am. It was a wonderful evening and I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends. Malibu Ken was the consumate gentleman, from giving me a great cookbook for my gift to watching out for me, I was very happy and cared for. Malibu Ken and I retired for the evening for our first "sleepover." I'll just leave it at that. But all in all an amazing night!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Fighting the Good Fight at Taco Bell

Question 1: Why do I still believe I can drink without first eating something??

Question 2: Where were all the cool kids last night?

Mr. Smith's of course for Blogger happy hour. The gracious host, Kathryn, has a recap w/ pictures. Including a picture of my massive head sporting the Milkman's hat. I'm thinking about trying to get one of those hats so I can wear it around town and tell people I make "home deliveries." Anyway, I got to meet the aforementioned players -Kathryn is captivating and The Milkman is a tall chainsmoker- as well as Circle V, DC Cookie (sorry I couldn't talk longer!), I-66 (who could possibly pass as my brother??), The Captain, Tiaras Optional, the lovely Linz of Lagniappe in DC, Throwing Hammers....ummm hope I didn't forget anyone.

I left early to meet up with some friends and go see a band at Iota. Then we headed to Dr Dremos. I still had not eaten a morsel of food, and the last Purple Haze put me over the edge. Thank god Dremos is next to the Taco Bell (but not for long, apparently they're both getting torn down for condos). So I think it's my duty as an Arlingtonian to frequent these establishments as much as possible.

So we walked over to Taco Bell with the gleaming allure of the glory that is a Crunch Wrap Supreme. All night everyone had been raving about it. Get to the door of TB - DENIED. Lobby closes at 11PM and the drive thru was longer than a free cone day line at Ben and Jerry's.

So we went home instead where I somehow managed to make nachos. Here are 3 things I always have stocked in my kitchen - nachos ingredients (chips, guacamole, cheese, salsa, and sour cream), spaghetti (pasta, marinara sauce, parmesan cheese), and pinot grigio. So I create my labor of love nachos plate and we all dig in. I felt muchhh better after eating. But this morning I am strug-a-ling. Tonight I might stay in to rest up for my big BIRTHDAY MASH-UP on Saturday.

I sent an evite around, but if any of you didn't get it don't be offended. I probably didn't have your email or the right address. But everyone should stop by LOCAL 16 ON AUG 13 @10 PM. Plus, I heard there's going to be a sweeeet DJ there.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

The Grassy Troll

I live in a house with 4 other people. One of my newest roommates is a male, who has dated another roommate of mine for about two years. This male, A, does absolutely nothing around the house. He doesn't clean common areas and has not even attempted to cut the grass. Our backyard is of a substantial size and needs maintenence. The grass had gotten so high I was afraid small children would think of our house as "that house to avoid on Halloween and god forbid our baseball rolls into that yard."The grass had not been cut in 5 weeks and the only reason it got cut then was because my Dad finally got fed up and volunteered to do it. Now, before when we had a different male roommate J, he would do it with no complaints. But A is such a wussy boy. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY CANT YOU CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING TO THE HOUSE! Even my neighbor asked me one night why A hasn't cut the grass and all I could say is that A is a troll and worthless. I've asked him to do it and I explained to him that I really don't enjoy having to use a machete just to get through my yard to the front door. The whole situation got me very angry so I called my Dad again and asked him to come cut the grass, which is what he did last night. I have the best Dad in the world. To show my appreciation I decided to make his favorite - oatmeal raisin cookies. And by make I mean buy. But whatever.

So when my Dad came over last night, all of my roommates were in the kitchen and cooking/eating. I informed them that my Dad was doing the yard. One says, "Oh that's great." The words "thank" or "you" or "nice" or "appreciate" did not come out of anyone's mouth. I stood there for a second while my blood pressure was rising and I finally said, "Ya know you should really thank him for doing this." Finally they get the hint and thank him. Why are my roommates such asshats?? They are all very Type B which means they don't give a shit about anything. I'm very Type A - I'm responsible and think that taking care of the yard is essential.

So why don't I just cut the grass myself? Well I'm not really a total princess girly girl, but growing up my parents never made me cut the grass. That was always a job for the boys, along with taking out the trash, car work, and killing big bugs. Is this sexist? Yes. I don't care because I know that there were other things around the house that I was required to do and I contributed accordingly. Does this mean I will never agree to cut the grass or change my oil? No. It just means that if there is a guy who obviously enjoys being a man and is willing to cut the grass for me then so be it. I know I can't force my personal preferences on A and make him cut the grass just because he's a guy, but that's the least he could do for the household. Am I being too unreasonable??

Later that night I was on the phone with Malibu Ken and told him about the yard. He thought that I was being spoiled by my dad and that I should just cut the grass myself. But then I explained to him the whole boys job/ v. girls job and that I did my best to show my Dad how grateful I was for him cutting our grass. I know that I am perfectly capable of cutting the grass, I just choose not to. And now it's a matter of principle because I take care of so many other things around the house. I always take out the trash, make sure bills are paid, unclog toilets, fix drains, vacuum, etc. Malibu Ken slowly started seeing it my way :)

So this ties into my theory about what I want from a man (I've had this theory for years). I've gone to college and started a great PR career and view myself as independent. But at the end of the day I still want someone who makes me feel safe and secure. I want someone I can trust and someone that can somehow live up to the standards my father has set.

So basically I want someone who can mow the shit out of my yard. Make it look better than the ninth hole at Pinehurst. I want someone who will know what's going on underneath the hood of my car (hehe). I want someone who will show the shingles who's the boss. Grill a mean T-Bone steak. And yes, it would be nice if they had a regular 9-5 job and career aspirations as well. Again, is this too unreasonable? Also, if the guy has expectations of me that I agree with, then I will oblige. There are things I can do well that he might appreciate. Like, I dunno, ordering stuff online and programming On Demand? Just kidding. But these are just my personal preferences and I don't expect anyone to agree with them. But at least I can say I know what I want.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE - August 9, 2005

*Recieved a call from Malibu Ken last night who informed me that his surgery was postponed again and he is back in VA!!!!! Sweettttttt. I know it's selfish, but I did miss him and now maybe he can go out on my birthday. And this was a tough call, because it means another month of ambiguous outings and copius over-analyzing - I'm gonna give this one an UPGRADE

*Ex U.N. official under investigation for taking kickbacks from recipients of U.N. programs. The report also cited corruption under the oil-for-food program: “The participants had knowledge that some of the oil was purchased by paying an illegal surcharge to Iraq in violation of United Nations sanctions and rules of the program.” WHY MUST WE MAKE FEEDING POOR PEOPLE A CORRUPTED AGENDA??? - DOWNGRADE

Ex-U.N. Official Admits to Taking Bribes (MSNBC)

*Holy Muggles Batman! Ralph Fiennes as the evil Lord Voldemort in the upoming Harry Potter movie will return for the fifth installment? I'd pay my hard earned sickles to see that - UPGRADE

*This fucking weather, man. - DOWNGRADE


***Disclaimer*** Before you view this picture, please make sure you are not eating and there are no small children/pets around.

Britney, there are no words:

Monday, August 08, 2005

Food for Thought

If I only get one week a year to be a little selfish, this is it. This is that start of my birthday week. Yes, one week, where I take inventory of what’s important to me and potentially burn my candle at both ends. You have to live life to the fullest!

Yesterday I went shopping in Eastern Market and Georgetown. YAY for tax-free week in D.C. I picked up a large strand of brown beads, a glass blown dish, 2 layering camisoles from Urban Outfitters, a big bunch of sunflowers, and perfume. The perfume is of course Dior: “Dior Me, Dior Me Not”.

And this whole weekend I drowned my sorrows in food. Malibu Ken went back home to PA for 2 months while he recuperates from his reconstructive knee surgery (old college football injury). I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand not seeing him for 2 months, but I’ll tell you what I do know – I miss him tons.

Today is my office pot luck lunch. I’m counting down the minutes until 12:30 PM! This was an idea I suggested a few weeks ago (perfect for the intern’s last week and the start of my birthday week), so that automatically put me in the role of organizer. I had everyone sign up with a dish they could bring in. Here is the lunch menu:

1st Course
Gazpacho soup
Crab Salad
Spinach Artichoke Pastries (courtesy of Moi)

2nd Course
Cajun Style Pasta Salad
Asian Cabbage Salad
Black Bean Salad

3rd Course
Ghirardelli Brownies
Seasonal Fruit

The menu is heavy on the "salads". But those are the easiest to make and bring in. My contribution is Mini Phyllo Dough pastries filled with Spinach Artichoke Dip. It's really easy to make. The pastries can be bought pre-made. The dip is simply chopped spinach, artichoke hearts, cream cheese, milk, parmesan cheese, romano cheese, garlic, and onion. Fill each pastry with a tablespoon of dip, and bake for about 8 minutes. I can’t wait to dig in :)

And good news from Restaurant Week – some establishments have extended it to Aug 14. I heard Butterfield 9 and Bardeo are participating. Perfect. They clearly got the memo that my birthday is Aug 14 and have amended their promotions accordingly.

Friday, August 05, 2005

The Pits of Hades

Last night I braved the heat index and took a trip to Local 16 to meet up with Asian Mistress and The Boy and The Party Girl of DC Urban Family. Asian Mistress was jovial, as expected, haha. We were able to determine that we both like our men tall, white, and asshole-ish. The Boy was fabu-lash and so easy going. He had me laughing as soon as we met. The Party Girl tells great stories, especially about the douchebag guys she encounters. Thanks to all who complimented me on my huge boobs. They were in rare form last night. The Boy thought they were exceptionally perky and even guessed where my bra was from. It's all about the fit my friends, especially when dealing with boobs of my poise and stature. Also, props to the bartender w/ the Mohawk who made a mean sour apple martini. Even though it felt like the pits of Hades on the rooftop, my aforementioned company was hotter :)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

This Shit is Vaginas, V-A-G-I-N-A-S

"Nobody got hit running on the GW Parkway today...
Today was a good day" - Ice Cube (or not...)
I am NOT a morning person. I woke up today in a foul mood, due to a night of restless sleep compunded by anxiety concerning the deluge of ant refugees that have set up shanty towns in our kitchen.
My mood was instantly brightened during my commute to work (how many people can say that?!). I take the GW Parkway to work and it's a beautiful scenic drive. I love seeing the morning sun reflected off of the Potomac River and the Washington monument on my drive. I am a very lucky girl.
As I was driving and fumbling around for my Bloc Party CD, "Hollaback Girl" came on the radio. I go ass-birds for this song. Frantic car-dancing ensued. As I'm bopping along, I realize the cute kid in the Acura next to me is laughing, and shoots me a great smile. Thank you kind sir for acknowledging the power of the Stefani. People either love or hate this song - but either way they talk about it. I personally like the arrangement of the song, as well as the snycopation. The only thing I don't get is the lyrics. The B-A-N-A-N-A-S part doesn't really bother me (as you can see from the post title I have taken the liberty of suggesting a more fun approach while singing this middle eight). But why would a 32 year-old woman sing about meeting someone beside the bleachers to get beat down and preparing one's "pom-poms." Gwen darling, if you didn't make callbacks for the squad or your junior year production of Showboat I think it's time to get over it and move on. Well I suppose if you are a 32 year old millionaire married to the delic Gavin Rossdale, then you can do whatever the hell you want. I just hope Gwen doesn't go crazy and insist upon sleeping in a hyperbolic chamber while only being referred to as "Princess Harijuka."
"Awesomely Bad Humidity Hair" Playlist
Oasis – “Slide Away”
Longwave – “Heart Attack”
Supergrass – “Late In the Day”
Kate Bush – “Cloudburst”
PJ Harvey – “Good Fortune”
Ted Leo/Pharmacists -"Shake the Sheets"
Louis XIV – “Finding Out True Love Is Blind” (opening line is great)
Papas Fritas - "Way You Walk"
Richard Ashcroft - "Check The Meaning"
Sleater-Kinney - "Entertain"
VHS or Beta - "Alive"
Coldplay - "X & Y"
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth"
The Shins – “Caring Is Creepy”
The Stills – “Still In Love Song”
The Dead 60's - "Just Another Love Song"

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

A Few of My Favorite Things

Time to appreciate the good things going on, as opposed to the bad things and all those out there chomping on Hater-Tots.

Favorite Things/Appreciation List
*My family - Mom and Dad, and my incredibly funny brother
*The way my dad exaggerates every story he tells
*How my grandma cries when she hears "When A Man Loves A Woman"
*Friends who are open-minded and listen to my ramblings on sociological theories
*Friends who inquire if I'm "sick" when I refuse a drink
*Saying I plead the fifth amendment (or the "Fif")
*Freedoms afforded to all Americans
*Shakespeare plays and sonnets
*The English Patient
*Cumulus clouds
*The smell of onion grass
*The word "succulent"
*The panda Malibu Ken gave me (stuffed toy of course, not Mei Xiang)
*The South of the Border rest stop and useless crap venue
*Matt's gray T-shirt
*The New York Times
*"Lovesong" - The Cure
*British accents
*My Nintendo and power pad
*A picture from 2001 formal
*Body surfing
*Law & Order
*Iambic pentameter
*Haribo Gummi Bears (big ups to the pseudo-Motherland of Germany)
*Pepperjack cheese
*Newly vacuumed carpet
*My foreign currency collection (pre-Euro)
*Requited love
*Sour Apple Martinis
*"NYC" - Interpol
*Washington's monuments
*Running along the Potomac River
*Kisses on the forehead
*The way my co-worker's baby gurgled when I held him
There's a million things I have left off this list....

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Blacker the Berry...

Last night Loo asked me what was going on with Malibu Ken, our mutual friend who I like a lot. I told her we went to a show at Iota recently and had a good time. Then Loo says, "Wow you guys are spending a lot of time together...Are you dating??"

Tricky question. It definitely started out as just friends, like group outings and random IM conversations. But then Malibu Ken and I started doing "couple-ish" things like going to the Zoo, Target trips, grocery shopping, hand-holding, cuddling, dinners, movies, etc. He really is the consumate gentleman - paying for everything, opening doors, always walking on the outside part of the sidewalk, constant compliments, etc.

So what's the problem you ask?? Well here goes: Malibu Ken is white. DC Pussycat Doll is black.

Yes folks, it's true I am of the darker persuasion. Looking at my summertime playlist you might not think that I was black (but there are some black people like myself who enjoy surfing, seersucker, Zeppelin and the Stones).

The REAL problem: Malibu Ken's parents did not approve of his last girlfriend because she was black(he apparently swings towards the chocolate). His parents stopped talking to him for six months. So it's not that him or I have a problem with race, it's that his parents don't want him dating non-whites.

Hello, the 50's called. They want their parents back.

I am not naive about racism in America. It clearly exists. But not letting your child date someone who makes them happy is so hateful and outdated. My parents have never told me that I couldn't date someone just because of what they look like. And if they ever did I'm sure I would go all bratty on them and say: "What-eva! What-eva! It's my hot body, I do what I want. You can't tell me what to do!!" (Cue after-school special music) Everyone is entitled to their opinion but please don't spread your hate and impose upon other people's lives. If his parents met me I think they would find me to be a nice, funny, intelligent girl. Every intelligent, open-minded person knows that race should not matter and respecting people of all nationalities is essential.

Also, his parents are kinda religious, which is funny because isn't Christianity based upon loving your fellow man because that's what Jesus would do? Why do people wear those damn bracelets then?? Hypocrite much?

When Malibu Ken first told me about his parents ridiculous beliefs a month ago I was disappointed. He indicated that he didn't think he could go through that drama again. I had definitely entertained the thought of dating him. Just when you think something good is about to happen, it gets turned upside down. So I put my guard up under the allusion that we can't date. Then things changed after we kissed and a certain level of romance has now come into play. Now we both know we are physically compatible, in addition to getting along well and enjoying each other's company.

Another wrench thrown in here is that he is having reconstructive surgery on his knee in 3 weeks. He will be at his parents house in PA for about six weeks :(

So what's a Pussycat Doll to do?? I guess simply enjoy myself when I'm around him and try not to stress too much. It's hard for me to not be upset about this and then overthink the situtation. But it's not like we are getting married. Who knows, maybe he is just looking for some affection and has no intention of becoming a couple. It is more than likely that nothing will develop, because I am apparently unable to attract a man and start an actual relationship. But seriously, how can you deny this silly Dr. Evil impression?

Or these drunken smiles: