She's Gotta Have It

Occasionally, I get obsessed with products, food, CDs, concepts, etc that permeate my life for a good two weeks. Having a shopping addiction doesn't help either. Once my mind is locked into something I HAVE to have it. So here are my current obsessions that keep me up at night and nourish the body:


1. Feta cheese - I'll put it on just about anything. Last week I threw some feta on a Philly Cheesesteak that unfortunately was sans cheese and a little dry. Feta in my salad. Feta on my pizza. Feta in my omelet.

2. Purses - I own too many for one woman. I collect purses like most girls do with shoes. I have never been in to shoes. I could go barefoot a la Fred Flintstone and as long as I was carrying a a soft, buttery, Prussian blue purse like I just bought at Barney's then I would be fine. This is a true lifelong obsession.

3. Tropical Passion Fruit Scent from Bath and Body Works - I am a devotee of Sweet Pea, but Tropical Passion Fruit (TPF) is giving my fave scent a run for its money. The TPF lamp oil, lotion, and shower gel is heaven. I imagine Miss Dominican Republic must smell like this all the time....

4. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stadium Arcadium - This CD has not left the player in my car for 2 months. "Animal Bar", "Hump de Bump", "Charlie", "Especially in Michigan", etc. etc. the hits just keep on coming. And I'm seeing them at the Virgin Music Festival.

5. Air conditioning - self-explanatory. Stay hydrated everyone.

6. Planning my Bday month - There are so many questions: Will this year's Bday be as hot and steamy as last year's? Will Kathryn bring stickers for everyone?? Will Malibu Ken totally surprise me with a cool gift? How many times can I dine out the week of my Bday (Aug 14 which happens to be Restaurant Week)? Fidel Castro was born the day before me so maybe he can fly over to help me celebrate? Happy Bday Fidel!

Friday Boobies

Was I under a rock somehwere when Christina Aguilera got a boob job?

This is a fairly recent picture and it seems like "the girls" are a bit fuller and judging from the nippleage Christina is not wearing a bra. All signs point to boob job. If it is true then her surgeon should be commended. Her ta tas don't look like flotation devices. I'll give her a 6. Not totally mediocre but not too noteworthy.

SexyBack

I'm bringin' sexy back
Them other fuckers don't know how to act
Girl let me make up for all the things you lack
Because you're burning up I got to get it fast


Have y'all heard the new Justin Timberlake song, "SexyBack"? At first I was a little confused about this song. JT's voice sounds like it's being filtered through a Cuisinart by Daft Punk and his Prince-cum-boy band thug vibe is suspicious. But after I saw the video (view it here being intrHO-d by yummy Stephen from Laguna Beach) I can't help but think that JT has got it going ON and he is just so damn sexy. Like you just want to lick movie theater popcorn butter off of him..

.....Ahem moving on to another former 'N Sync member, it seems Lance Bass is finally coming out of the closet. He is revealing his "secret" as the cover boy for the new issue of People, sort of how Ellen Degeneres went public in Time. Frankly I don't think anyone really cares about Lance Bass anymore and Perez Hilton called Lance out a few months ago anyway so everyone already had a pretty good idea of which way he swings. But I give mucho props for dating a really hot guy with a really weird name: Reichen Lehmkul. Looks like JT isn't the only one who's gotten The SexyBack!

Sniffles McSniffleson

I'm sick :( I have an ear infection and a sinus infection to accompany it. I haven't had an ear infection since I was about 10 years old. Yesterday at work, after suffering through a busy day, I informed the higher ups that I would be leaving early to see an Urgent Care doctor and get some medicine. One of them replied, " Well you sound sick but you don't really look sick." I guess I take that as a compliment and an insult for two reasons:

1. Just because I'm sick does not mean I can't put on my best face and look presentable. When I got ready that morning I made it a point to not wallow too much in the sickness and put on some damn mascara. Any lady would.

2. How does "sick" look? Just because I didn't schlep into the office and hype up the dramatics with loud nose blowing and complaining doesn't mean I'm not sick. I felt terrible but managed to pull together a cute outfit and brave the commute to get there. Give me some credit!

Friday Boobies

My apologies for the late Friday Boobies. My job has been sucking major ass right now. Anyway, today's feature lady is non other than dancing queen/Percoset bandit Paula Abdul:


There are no words to explain the huge gap in her chest. Poor form Paula. That's two steps forward and 100 steps back for her bosom. She's really giving Tara Reid a run for her money for worse boob job. I'm giving Paula a score of 0.5.

TRL :Total Regurgitation Live

Forget the miniseries based on Stephen King's "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" or the scary animated movie Monster House - this is the real nightmare:


I'm sorry I should have warned you to not look directly into Carson Daly's eyes. You'll be turning to stone any second now....

OK, seriously. WHAT happened to him? Hey, cocaine is a helluva drug. Or maybe he has cancer...or maybe he is suffering from manorexia and buying into the La La Land hype of being skinny. This is how he used to look:


Check out that healthy glow, filled in cheeks and nice smile. What happened Carson?? Ohh ohhhh I got it now. The Tara Reid Fugly disease rubbed on him and has finally manifested itself, even though it's been several years since they dated. Whatever the case I wish him a healthy recovery!

Fievel Must Die

Our building has a mouse problem. Or rather the building has mice - more than one has been spotted. I came into work this morning and was welcomed by lots of mouse droppings on my desk. Shit on my desk folks. I guess shit on my desk is an entirely fitting way to start a Monday....

This Just In: Madonna ROCKS....Now Back to Regular Programming for Friday Boobies

The spectacle that I had the pleasure of seeing last night was a truly memorable performance from Madonna. Words, along with any pictures I could have taken, would not have done her performance justice. She is one of the rarest of people who can combine beauty, grace, appealing imagery, unsettling images, music, energy, dance, masculinity, femininity, vision, spunk, and showmanship and turn it into a show that leaves you begging for more.

There were so many favorite parts of the show I could go on for days...but if you have the chance to see the show, the opening equestrian sequence will blow you away and the remix of "Erotic" will have you happily fevered.

Madonna rocks and that's all there is to it.










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Time for Friday Boobies. Now, maybe it's just because I'm tired from driving all night, but did Winona Ryder actually go out in public with her boobies looking like this?:


I mean I give her props for trying to defy gravity and all, but that's no reason to present your boobs as two bald babies competing to be the first out of the birth canal (her dress). Winona gets a score of 5 and a yellow card for abuse of cleavage.

My Baby's Got A Secret...

Actually there's no secret here -I'M GOING TO SEE MADONNA IN PHILLY TONIGHT!!!! Section 102 baby!! I bought the tickets so long ago it seemed I might forget. But oh no, tonight I have a date with her royal Madge-esty. I've heard the show is awesome and the last time I saw her concert I was floored by her performance. Hopefully I'll have time tomorrow to do Friday Boobies considering that I'm driving back from Philly tonight and will probably only get 3 hrs of sleep. But Madonna is totally worth it!!

"We'll Have Her In Stilettos In No Time"

Did everyone else watch Project Runway 3 last night? The cast appears to be very talented and although the first challenge was a little cliche, the designs produced were good. Most of the contestants' designs have a polish to them that I think has been missing in other seasons. I won't give too much away but here are some of my fave contestant breakdowns:

Keith - A menswear designer who has never really made women's clothing. He is clearly talented and I believe can drape the shit out of just about anything (including a duvet cover).
Character Drawback: He is completely smarmy.
Could be a doppleganger for what celebrity?: A smarmy Jude Law

Vincent - A mad-scientist when it comes to designs, he is a fashion industry veteran who had his own line in the 80's. Sadly it appears his design ideas are also from the 80's.
Character Drawback: He's a little too wacky. He possibly scares small children.
Could be a doppleganger for what celebrity?: Woody Allen

Robert - He worked under Izaac Mizrahi and now designs outfits for Barbie at Mattel. I think that's a pretty awesome job to have but I guess after awhile it would get old making clothes for dolls and not real people. He loves fabrics and drag queen clothing. Honestly, who doesn't? But maybe the Barbie influence will make his designs a little too cutesy...
Character Drawback: I couldn't really find a drawback. I like him.
Could be a doppleganger for what celebrity?: Nick V. from season 2 of PR

Malan - Ohhh dearrrr. He is simmplly too mahhhhvelous for the show. This "British" actor/designer made it on to season 2 of PR but declined to come on. WHO TURNS DOWN TIM GUNN AND HEIDI KLUM? He is clearly delusional. And the accent. Uggg: "I reallyyyy would preferhh using betterrr fabriiiics." I really would prefer if you stopped the fake London accent and speak like the Jersey boy we know you really are.
Character Drawback: Pompous attitude. Bad greasy hair. Flair for the dramatic.
Could be a doppleganger for what celebrity?: Gary Numan circa 1985


So I don't have a clear cut winner in my mind just yet....but one thing was clear from last night's show - this season promises to be dramatic!

p.s. - Don't you just lurve Michael Kors? I would let him eat crackers in my bed!

Pay It Forward

I've been working out a lot and trying to get in better shape. I've lost 5 pounds so far due to lots of hours logged at "Casa de Short Shorts" aka Ballston Gold's Gym. I swear I've never seen so many girls wear makeup while working out. And it seems some of the girls there are HATERS and give everyone dirty looks.... but for the most part I find the people there OK. Anyway, Monday night at the gym I was putting my hair back with a hair tie when horror of horrors the hair tie snapped. I normally wear 2-3 on my wrist but had no such luxury that day. I figured I could just seek one out in the ladies locker room. So I politely asked girl after girl if she could offer up a hair tie. NO ONE had an extra hair tie. At this point I was getting frantic. The next girl I asked was on her way out the door and very sympathetic. Although she did not have an extra hair tie she offered up what was at that time holding her hair back - a big scrunchie.

And she was sweaty from working out so I'm sure the scrunchie was sweaty as well. God bless her for being so generous but I had to decline her offer. I'm not one to work out with my hair down and I honestly don't know how anyone could, but I had to stick to the fashion over function edict. So I approached the info desk at the entrance and inquired about a rubber band. Apparently they don't keep rubber bands in stock there, further providing evidence to my mounting case that the Gold's front desk staffers are useless.

Then there was a break in the dark clouds of hair despair. I asked a woman going up the stairs to the locker room if she had a hair tie and she happened to have an extra one securing her wallet, but she was able to part with it and give it to me. Disaster avoided. I know it's a bit melodramatic but I think I would have had to go home if I hadn't found a hair tie. Anyway, from now on I'm keeping an extra stash of hair ties in my car so that this won't happen to anyone else. That's called paying it forward everyone (just not with scrunchies...).

Friday Boobies

Happy Friday Boobies and the first boobies post of July. Today's lovely lady is a D-list celebrity who "anchors" (I use the term loosely) "Access Hollywood."Maria Menounos is a Greek cutie who I actually find less annoying than say, a Vanessa Minnillo who "anchors" "Entertainment Tonight" :


Her ta tas look natural and normal (ahem Pam Anderson) so I'm going to give her a score of 8. They might be too big for some people's taste but I think they look just fine. I also like her because she loves her Greek curves and seems happy in her own skin. You gotta love that!

Wool Socks in July???

Malibu Ken has returned :) We had a lengthy discussion about the "traveling with cute female co-worker situation". He assured me nothing happened and he apologized for not being considerate enough to offer up details. Honestly I don't think it even crossed his mind that it would bother me. I think it was more a case of him being a usual dude and not thinking things through as opposed to him being a sneaky lying bastard. Well for his sake I hope it was the former :)

He did bring me some gifts from Europe including Parisian chocolates and a stuffed sheep from Dublin. Some of the other gifts were a bit, ummm random. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I think a sign that someone knows you well is the kind of gift they give you. So MK bought me a celtic cross necklace on a sterling silver chain from Shannon, Ireland. It's really nice but not something I would ever wear. I'm not Irish or Catholic and in fact I have never subscribed to Irish culture and history. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't even like Irish pubs. MK also brought back Irish socks made out of real-deal wool. Ummm, it's 90 degrees in DC right now. Again, I don't want to sound like a brat...Oh well I love that he thought of me while on the trip and he is just so sweet. Our reunion was sweet as well ;) And the 4th of July was spent eating too many hot dogs, drinking too many Stella Artois's, and seeing fireworks on the Mall. Hope everyone else's day off was great!