Vive Le Rock and Roll, Part Deux

Oasis put on an AWESOME show last night at Merriweather. its surreal to think that i first saw Oasis at the patriot center ten years ago when i was 13.

first, kasabian didn't play due to "technical difficulties". uh-oh. i think one of the members was having a kate moss/kelly osbourne type of moment. i was a little disappointed to not see them (although the lead singer did come out during the Oasis finale).

jet was OK. i really don't dig their songs but they sounded decent live.

Oasis started with "turn up the sun", which was an OK starter. then played "lyla". unfortunately about 1/3 through the song i succumbed to my bladder (the casualty of too many beers and sangria) and made a mad dish to the nearby bathroom. i think i broke some olympic trial records with my sprinting. as soon as i got back to my seat, the opening rift of "bring it on down" starts. holy schnikes! was not expecting this one. this is one of the earliest Oasis songs. they sounded AMAZING.

other highlights include Liam dedicating "live forever" to new orleans, noel singing "the importance of being idle", "rock and roll star" (which took me wayyy back to when i was 13 and saw that video), "what's the story morning glory?", Liam jumping down into the side loge sections to shake hands with fans and then getting mobbed, and noel singing "don't look back in anger."

when they played "wonderwall" i thought about malibu ken. i haven't written much about him lately. we talk all the time but he's still away recovering from surgery and should be back by nov 1. god that's such a long time to wait. so i was THAT girl and held up my cell phone and called him during "wonderwall" (when I spoke to him later that night he said all he could hear was my screaming rendition of the song and cheering).

Oasis ended with "my generation", which i think is an odd choice to end a show because it's a cover. they could have played any other song from their catalog and that would have made me happy (hello? slide away? supersonic???). but it was clear that everyone on stage was having a great time, including members from kasabian that came out to sing along and dance maniacally around the stage. overall, a great show. Liam sounded good, Noel's guitar playing was crisp, and the whole band had great energy. although i do miss alan white, the drummer, who has been replaced by Ringo Starr's son! 10 years later Oasis are more seasoned and god bless 'em still rock and roll stars.

Viva Le Rock and Roll!!

Tonight, I am going to see the band that single handedly got me through adolescence - Oasis. Since I was 13 they have been one of my favorite bands. I remember being a teenager and not being very happy with myself. But whenever I listened to Oasis it made me happy, and I still get that wonderful feeling from their music. I've seen them twice before, with the last time being about 4 years ago. I can't wait to hear some of my fave songs, songs I have faithfully sung a thousand times in the shower, in the car, in my room, and in a lover's ear. I am so hyped for the concert tonight at Merriweather, that I might just break out my Whats The Story Morning Glory T-shirt :)

Why I Can't Go Out on Wednesdays Anymore

I admit that I sometimes watch too much primetime TV, but yesterday was a stellar night of addictive shows. First, America's Next Top Model was on at 8 PM. This week was makeovers and more bitching, specifically from the Texas beauty queen who "didn't know how to slouch." I guess she is just too damn refined. I really should have followed the ANTM drinking game from Perez Hilton, but I fear that if I had I would have ended up in the ICU. Basically you drink every time Tyra says "fierce", which is like every 2 minutes.

9 PM presented a dilemma: stick with UPN for the critically acclaimed Veronica Mars (which apparently I'm the only one who watches this) or switch over to another critically acclaimed show, Lost. Both have excellent writing and mysteries to be solved. VM has a cool cast and very sharp writing - not your typical high school show. I basically flipped back and forth when I could. I missed a few key parts of VM which made me confused, as in how she got back together with Duncan and where Logan is at now.

But Lost is where my heart, and brain, were at. The show has me soooo confused - but soooo hooked. Last night's episode showed a different perspective of how Jack, Kate, and Locke go down into the hatch. And the flashbacks focused on Michael and how he tried to get custody of Walt. A few key things featured in this episode:

*Michael gave his son Walt a polar bear as a gift when they're talking in the street. I missed what the significance of the polar bear was from last season. Can anyone fill me in?

*The creature that swam into the frame when Michael and Sawyer where on the raft had the same symbol on it's fin that Desmond has on his shirt. Apparently the word on the symbol is DARMA.

*The "clock" in the hatch has to be reset every 108 minutes by typing in numbers into the computer. What are these numbers? Yep - 4 8 15 16 23 42.

I know I'm treading on dangerous nerd water here, but I'm hooked and have all these theories about what happened. I guessed that the numbers that keep appearing are the longitudinal/latitudinal location of the island. I think someone actually looked it up and the location is somewhere in the south pacific. Everyone on the plane is connected in some weird way. Like, Jack operates on his future wife after she gets into a car accident that killed Shannon's dad. And Desmond has seen Jack before and doesn't remember him. It keeps going. Maybe this whole thing is an extreme case of six degrees of separation. There's also a theory (it appears to be a hoax) that everyone has a twin and that the odds of meeting them are impossible. But all of these people beat the odds and are encountering other people's twin. I think I'm going to have to rent the first season and do a Lost marathon!

Dear Mr. Workout Room Guy

Dear Mr. Guy Who Works Out in The Canal Center Plaza Gym,

Listen. I know it's football season, and knowing scores and stats is as vital as air to you, but please be considerate and ask before changing the channel on the TV. Even though I had my iPod on I was also watching that piece of fine journalism known as NBC Nightly News. We know this is not the first time this has happened. And it's too bad because you are kinda cute, but your manners suck...and you have facial hair. Anyway, if you cannot survive without watching mind-numbing pre-game Monday Night Football, then don't work out on Mondays. Go home, crack open a nice cold one, and leave me to my iPod and Brian Williams. Thank You. That is all.

Cordially Yours,

VP of Dior

I'm Registered at SHUT THE HELL UP AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

This past summer two acquaintances of mine got engaged. In the last week two friends from college became engaged. All of these people are under the age of 24. All of them have clearly lost their minds.

I really am happy for my two friends and their significant others are upstanding gentlemen. Also, I really do enjoy weddings as a party event, and they normally make me cry. I may or may not have bought a couple of issues of Bride's magazine **cough**. However, call me cynical but I think 24 is a tad young to forever be attached to someone until the cold, clammy hand of death do them part. This news prompted my mother to ask me, "So when do you think you'll be engaged?" My reply, "Gee Mom, um as soon as I find a guy who doesn't have prior convictions and will honor my request for a Cartier ring." I really am starting to get annoyed by this question. What's the big rush?

And yet every Sunday I am drawn to the wedding announcement section of the NYT Style section. I guess I do this because I'm a masochist and like to inflict the pain of being pressured to find a mate via looking at gorgeous couples with Rhodes Scholar-ish accolades.

I especially enjoy WASPy announcements. Such as, "The bride graduated from Cornell summa cum laude and received her master's in art history from Cambridge. She was a Fulbright Scholar studying vases and plates of the Ming dynasty. She is now employed by Christie's. Her father is a doctor and her mother is on the Board of United Way. The bridegroom graduated phi betta kappa from Harvard, where he also received his MBA. He now runs his own real estate company. His father is a senior partner at Sacks, Goldman, and Toushe and his mother is a visiting professor at Columbia. The couple met at a charity event for UNICEF. After a honeymoon in [insert South Pacific island], the couple will reside in Greenwich, Conneticut."

Are you kidding me? How about the NYT print a real life story. Like, meeting a normal guy who doesn't have a masters (and this is who I seem to always attract anyway for some reason. I guess something about me screams blue-collar???!?!?). If I ever get married, this is what my announcement will say:

"The bride, who will keep her last name professionally, majored in English and Sociology at the College of William and Mary, where she honed her flip-cup skills and developed a disdain for tri-cornered colonial hats. She now works at a PR firm, deftly crafting press releases on "non-sexy" topics and spinning marketing strategies. The bride's mother is a web development manager for DTIC and her father is a Navy Archives Declassification Supervisor. The bridegroom, majored in electronics at ITT Tech. He works part-time out of his garage and hopes to start his own company from the money the bride has saved. His mother is a sales assistant at Wal-Mart and his father is a janitor for Prince William County Schools. His previous marriage ended in divorce. The couple will honeymoon in Las Vegas and reside in Arlington, VA. The couple met on a fateful metro ride home from Lucky Bar, whilst the bride was experiencing "motion sickness." The bridegroom offered assistance, to which the bride replied, "You had me at Orange Line."

You Need a Nip AND a Tuck

Last night's premiere of Nip/Tuck was stellar. I really loved the directing (especially the scenes where Kimberly/Christian and Julia/Sean are arguing) and they played a band called Elbow that I like. Favorite line of the night: "Threesomes are the new black." Glad I got the memo. Hmmm who would I choose? Elizabeth Hurley and Brad Pitt of course. Cuz ya know, I so have a chance with them.

I won't give away too much for those who didn't watch it. But there was a plastic surgery scene that almost made me hurl my Honey Nut Cheerios. The patient had breast implants that leaked and she waited three years before coming in to get them fixed. Sean removes the silicone implant but the silicone had leaked into her breast cavity and congealed into a sticky mess. The scene was quite disturbing but I love Nip/Tuck for pushing the envelope and showing the dark dark side of plastic surgery.

This reminded me of my co-worker who told me a story about a recent encounter with a college freshman who is a friend of the family. This girl got breast implants for her high school graduation gift. Holy schnikes. What happened to asking for a Tiffany bracelet for a graduation gift?? How can parents raise their daughters to believe it is OK to even ask for this? And how can plastic surgeons agree to do an operation on a young female, who at 18 is still technically growing?

I think plastic surgery is a personal choice and I won't pass judgement on adults who do it. But children who want elective plastic surgery is another story.

I guess it's easy for me to sit back on my bountiful bosom high horse and disagree with breast implants. Mine are *inspirational - edited thanks to Sean* and there's even a whole comment section on it. But I suppose the pressure to have breasts is very real, as is pressure to have slim hips, thighs, and a perfect face. If I were to get one surgery done it would be liposuction on my lower half. But I hate pain so I guess that wouldn't work out. And how do you explain to your coworkers why you're swollen and sitting on a hemroid doughnut pad for two months? So what would YOU have done if you could pick one surgery?

When the Dress Wears You

I had to post on this IMMEDIATELY. All credit must go to Go Fug Yourself for finding this gem of a picture. This actress, and I use that term loosely, firmly believes in shock value and showed up at the Emmy's looking like this:

Holy GYN exam Batman! Because that's what she looks like she is about to get done. Her name is Tessie Smith and I have no idea what she's acted in. I'm guessing she's a straight-to-video kind of artisan. But anyway, the girl has some nerve. This goes wayyyy beyond bad taste and no decorum. Even Rose McGowan would tell this hussy to put some clothes on. I guess someone in her family owns stock in double stick body tape. She's like TITania, Queen of the Fug Hos (for all you literary nerds out there!). Girl gets a big DOWNGRADE.

Word of the Day

**WARNING - NERD ALERT*** I've always been a bit of a book worm. I majored in English and in my profession I do a lot of writing. I have found Dictionary.com's "Word of the Day" to be extremely entertaining. It arrives in my email inbox full of meaning and and obscure literary references. I actually started saving my word of the day as I began studying for the GREs this month. I think that learning these words will increase my verbal score (but the math portion is a whole other story).

Today's word of the day is: deliquesce. Fun word to say. Can anyone guess what it means?

Also some of my favorite words in the English language are omnipotent, farrago, regale, salacious, leery, grace, shady, fabulous, fake, sanctuary, and motley. I warned you guys this would be a nerd-fest :)

Madonna-rama

Love her or hate her, Madonna is an icon. I've been a big fan of her since I was a child living in Germany. Germans love Madge, haha. I saw her in concert on the Drowned World tour and she was brilliant. I wore my Material Girl shirt of course. Seeing her ride a huge mechanical bull in the middle of the MCI center was the highlight of my year. My next goal is to make it to Madonnarama at Nation.

Madonna is coming out with a new album and the first single, "Hung Up", is sure to be a dance/club hit. I think this album will definitely be better than her last one, American Life.

Even though I do not dig the "myspace" format and layout, Madonna has a myspace page that has a sample of "Hung Up". Enjoy party people. And have a great weekend.

God Gave Me Style, God Gave Me (Social) Grace.......

If it wasn't for my social grace and impeccable sorority rush conversation skills, someone would have been knocked the fuck out last night.

I went to Blogger Happy Hour at Local 16. First, it was a pleasure to see the regulars (Kathryn, DC Cookie, Asian Mistress, The Boy, I-66, RCR, Etta). I also met Direct Current, DC Sports Chick, Lucy, Crazy City Girl, and DC Last Call.

Lucy, Kathryn, DC Cookie, Asian Mistress, and Me (rocking the Polo)

"No pictures please! Don't make me go Sean Penn on your ass!"

Props to Kathryn for another successful event. I wish I could have talked to everyone more, especially Cookie and I-66. Asian Mistress and I were in rare form, downing sour apple martinis and macking on unsuspecting guys from Shamnesty International (phrase stolen from Kathryn).

Also in attendance was a particular non-blogger new to DC. During a conversation I made an off-hand comment about me being black, to which this non-blogger replied, "Wait - you're not black!". Silence. Asian Mistress coughs. The Boy suddenly needs a cigarette real bad. More awkward silence.

The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Non-Blogger: You don't really look black.
Me: Well....I am.
NB: But you don't look black black. Which is a good thing.
Me: (long pause. very long pause) Ummm.
NB: I mean that you have a very exotic look and to me you don't look black. Like you have amazing features but they don't look black.
Me: Well I have a lot of Native American in my ancestry.
NB: Oh yeah that must explain it! God I wish I had more Indian in me. Then I could tan really easily. And I went to a high school in South Carolina that was 80% black. Those people down there are really black. I was always hanging out with black girls. Like, watching them perm their hair and stuff. That stuff burns right? Oh and I had a friend who was so dark....
Me: Uh, yeah. Would you please excuse me I have to go talk to someone over there.

This whole encounter made me realize that I am way too nice. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she sounded completely ridiculous. I think that it's only a matter of time until she goes up to the wrong black person on 14th and U and says something, with the outcome of her getting bitch-slapped. Not that I would wish that upon anyone, but some people have to learn the hard way. But seriously, no hard feelings.

After Local 16, The Boy and I went to JR's for a drink (Boy - sorry I attracted that sketchy duo from MD). On the walk there we encountered several HOT men in uniform. First, there was the fire engine full of hot firefighters that I eye-fucked and then made a lewd gesture to. The cute fireman hanging out the side window laughed. Then in the 7-11, there were TWO hot Metropolitan police. I managed to make small talk with the tall blonde guy and totally eye-fuck him. I do love a man in uniform.

Capped the night off with some Taco Bell, then snuggled with the bastard love child of the union between me and Malibu Ken - Butterstick. He's black and white, just like us, and Malibu Ken bought it for me when we went to the zoo a few months ago. He's also adorable, just like us.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

I know everyone and their mother has used this Green Day song in a post this month, but current events make it all too pertinent. September is shaping up to be a doozy of a month.

First let's backtrack. This is my 50th post(wow!). Looking back on the summer, I had a rather carefree couple of months, lots of fun outings, and I met a wonderful guy.

I was looking through some old posts and discovered my Attached By August Agenda. My goal was to be attached by August, or at the very least get some ass. Well I successfully completed the ass part, but I guess I can't say Malibu Ken and I are attached. We formed a strong connection this summer, which was totally unexpected and nice. I didn't really have to try to hard when it came to him, but everything is still up in the air. He had his surgery last week and we have talked a couple of times. He is in massive amounts of pain, and because he can't walk upstairs to the shower, he "showers" in the garage with a rigged-up hose. Good grief. And he said his physical therapy is intensely painful. I feel awful for him and can't wait until he gets back. I'm counting down the weeks.

Now forward to the rest of this month, which is more stressful than a Lindsay Lohan family reunion. So I'm already a little depressed Malibu Ken is away, then shit hits the fan in every other part of my life. Specifically, my financial situation is the shits. Here's a quick rundown:

*I got a speeding ticket on Lee Highway in Arlington. Total speed trap and the cop was a huge ass. First, he's on foot and he steps into the middle of traffic to stop cars and pull me over to the side street. Apparently he had been doing it all afternoon because I saw a young man on the side street drive off after the cop gave him a ticket. The cop said I was going 48 MPH in the 30 MPH zone. That's bullshit because if I was going that fast I wouldn't have been able to stop in time to not hit his dumb-ass with my car when he stepped out into the middle of the street. So he gives me the ticket and I start to pull away. The cop walks back toward Lee Highway, doesn't even point the speed gun at a car, steps out into the street, seemingly randomly picks a car, pulls them over and gives them a ticket. It was another young man. So I seriously think he was targeting young drivers. Anyway, I'm going to court to contest, but if I have to pay the fine it will cost $160. :(

*My cellphone is still busted and is hanging by a moment thanks to a Band-Aid. I realized on Sunday that I only had 30 minutes left on my plan to last until Friday. Yep, no one is getting called before 9 PM. Sorry. Estimated cost for new phone and any charges resulting in extra minutes - $150.

*My car is causing me MAJOR headaches. Monday I hit a pole in my parking garage at work and knocked off the side passenger mirror. I take it in to Honda and they say they can fix it right away. Great. After they're done, the mechanic tells me that the car as other problems I need to fix - as in I need 4 new tires, alignment fixed, and front and back brake service. Fucking hell. Cost of mirror $180. Estimated cost of other car service - $800. ARGRGGGGH.

*It's time to refill my birth control prescription. Usually not a big deal for most people, however my job only offers a group health insurance plan that covers 0% of birth control drugs. So every 3 months I pay $130 out of pocket for my prescription. I clearly need a new job with better prescription drug coverage.

*My work-related business trip to Hartford falls on the same weekend of the GREs test date. My boss, who is usually understanding, as been surprisingly unsympathetic and says I still need to go to Hartford. But this is my future we're talking about here! I would like to take the GREs and start going over my options for grad school. But I guess that's too much to ask.

So let's see here -

Speeding ticket - $160
New cellphone - $150
Car maintenance - $980
Estrostep refill - $130
(Hypothetical situation) -Not taking the GREs, never advancing my career, going broke, then turning tricks to pay for bills, meeting a pimp who works me, getting strung out on heroin, moving to trailer park, producing 4 loud mouth crack babies - PRICELESS




***Reminder : tonight is Blogger Happy Hour! I know some people think Local 16 is a tad pretentious (much like the Polo I will be wearing tonight), but I heart that bar. You may remember a little event called my birthday where I, along with Kathryn and Indecent Offense among others, rocked the rooftop bar all night. See everyone at Local 16!

A Note on Popped Collars

Oh the all-important popped-collar debate. I recently bought a Ralph Lauren polo with the big horse on the pocket area. It's like the picture here, but it's black with a silver pony.

My style is normally not preppy, but I couldn't resist the urge to grab one of these. And I got some ideas from the above picture how I can rock the polo in a cute, yet unpretentious way. In my own way I'm kinda poking fun at the Polo wearing set by wearing a polo with such a huge horse on it. Like, look at me! My horsie is bigger and better and way more Ralph Lauren than yourssssss!

We all know what the standard and pedestrian popped collar douchebags look like.

Oh dear lord. We all know that guy. He can be found in his natural habitat on M street between Rhino Bar and Third Edition. He is most likely accompanied by his nontourage who are also sporting the prepster uniform, complete with trucker hat and iPod. They think Chappelle Show is the funniest thing they've ever seen and know all the words to every [insert mediocre 80's band here] song.

The problem I have with the popped collar uniform is the pretentious attitude. It screams "I'm a jackass and have no clue what other people's experiences are like because my life revolves around prep school and an Audi A6." Don't get me wrong, Audi A6's are sweet. But you fools think you're the shit because you got some new Topsiders and work for an investment firm. (But they don't realize that their pearls-wearing girlfriend who seems like marriage material is actually an undercover whore who has her own walk-of-shame plaque from Kappa Alpha.)

Anyway, stylistically popped collars look silly. If you want to protect your neck wear sunscreen. Mudflaps for the chin is never a good look.

On the flip side, Kanye West has been rocking the popped collar for some time now for the urban "gangsta with a J. Crew credit card" set.

This look is slightly more acceptable in my book because it allows more individuality and edge. Actually I've seen some guys around here do it and it looks cute. It's like, "Look at me I pop collars and sport Roca-Wear. Fuck you to the establishment. G-UUUNITTT!"

Even students at Harvard are weighing in on this all-important topic.

So the dilemma remains: How to rock the polo without being pretentious. Maybe a half-pop that originates at the back of the neck? Can I do a half-pop and retain some dignity? Yes, I think I can do it with my own individual flair. These are the important questions here people. I'm going to keep a running tally of how many disturbed and mocking looks I get!

What Can (Michael) Brown Do For You? NOTHING

In my opinion, Michael Brown, head of FEMA, should be immediately fired. The NYP ( via Wonkette ) reports that in a memo Brown urged firefighters and emergency crews outside of the gulf states not to send help until requested. Ummmm yeah NOLA AND SURROUNDING AREAS HAD NO PHONE LINES OR RADIO COMMUNICATIONS. I know it's hard to be 100% prepared for a disaster but something is wrong in America if FEMA and rescue crews can't get to the stranded and helpless, but Harry Connick Jr. can stroll down to NOLA and save lives while reporting on the atrocities.

Even President Bush acknowledged that the initial emergency response to the gulf states was "unacceptable" and is calling for an investigation into FEMA procedures. Here's an idea - stop the fucking press conferences and debriefings, fire Brown, and hire Connick, Jr. as the director of FEMA. Then at least we would have live jazz entertainment at the unnecessary press conferences.

The Ghoul Pool

This weekend Chief Justice Rehnquist died after struggling with cancer, and now Bob Denver, better known as Gilligan on "Gilligan's Island", has died at the age of 70 from cancer. My condolences to their families.

Because deaths of the famous and well known come in threes, let's take an informal poll and conjecture who's next. Elizabeth Taylor? Eunice Kennedy Shriver??? Let the Ghoul Pool begin.....

Cupid Has Flown the Co-Op

Well I guess love is still kinda in the air....

Malibu Ken left this weekend to go home for surgery on Wednesday for his ACL injury. We had a great goodbye dinner at Marrakesh and left things pretty open as far as our status. I spent most of the weekend drowning my sorrows in retail therapy and bordeaux. I miss him already and yeah, two months isn't that long....I guess. I am honestly surprised at the different flow of emotions I've been experiencing towards the situation. One moment it's hope that I've finally found someone, the next it's anger at the prospect of him giving into his parents and not dating me. Then there's excitement about him moving back to Arlington when this is all done, followed by saudade (roughly translates to longing and sadness tinged with joy).

But all of this seems trivial compared with what's going on in New Orleans and the Gulf States. I made a donation to Red Cross, and then I heard that some evacuees are coming to the DC Armory. Apparently they were supposed to arrive Sunday but deplorable ground conditions and red-tape (of course) has delayed their arrival until later this week I think. I called the mayor's office and gave my information to sign up as a volunteer for when they do arrive. I urge everyone else in the DC metro area to call the mayor's office at (202) 727-1000 to learn how you can help and sign up to be a volunteer.

Behind These (Bloodshot) Hazel Eyes

First, let's give a big welcome to September with a song inspired by Kelly Clarkson:


Here I am once again
I've drunk a few mojitos
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought I could have just one
Mix it up, drunk dialing
But you won't get to see the beers I try
Behind these bloodshot hazel eyes.


Well I had a little too much to drink last night and I'm at work feeling like death on a morphine drip. My first stop of the evening was Halo where I met Keith for 2 for 1 drinks. Anyplace that has 2 for 1 drinks is OK in my book, then throw in some nice eye candy with a fun new friend and it's stellar. Keith is fun and adorable and I hope we get to hang out again! Halo is a pretty cool place with really good mojitos (with fresh raspberries!!) and it's smoke free (I like that) . It's also nice to not have guys ogle you. But I did have a very drunk small man come up to me and tell me that I was beautiful and had a nice body. His name was Pablo or Pedro or Poblano or something, but I'm not so sure he was Hispanic......

Then I headed back to FARlington to meet some friends at Mexicali Blues for 1/2 price pitchers of sangria (and I saw my neighbor Tom!). Oh boy. I had a few too many cups of sangria which made me get the munchies bad so I downed a whole plate of nachos. When I got home I was ready to throw-up, but I somehow kept my shit together. Then I drunk dialed Malibu Ken who immediately knew I was sauced.

He said something that I thought was interesting. We were talking about being responsible as an adult and having class, and he said looking back his ex-gf wasn't very classy. He believes that he was just blinded by puppy love and now he looks for class in a girl. He paid me a compliment by saying that I was classy and smart and he appreciates that. Nice. Very nice. Now I've only got 3 more days to keep up this euphoria.....