Que Syrah, Syrah....

I have readily admitted that I am a wino. Indecent Offense will vouch for this. I usually stick with white - pinot grigio, soave, chardonnay, sauvignon blanc. Reds are a bit tough for me, but I do enjoy a few varieties.

My current favorite is a California pinot noir. So refreshing and tasty.... Is that a hint of of oak and cherry I'm detecting? Or perhaps black pepper?? So how do you describe the assemblage of flavors that roll over your tongue? Thanks to WineXMagazine there is now a way to recreate these flavors in candy form. WineXMagazine teamed up with Jelly Belly to create a Jelly Belly Wine Bar.

Here’s how it works: Choose one of the 30 or so grape varietals on the site and then order the kit with appropriately matched beans. The website is fun but the kits are expensive (I think you could very easily go out and buy the selected Jelly Bellys at a cheaper cost). Italian Moscato on the menu? Pop pear, apricot, peach, pink grapefruit, orange, and tangerine candies into your mouth. Malbecs got you curious? Pop blueberry, plum, raspberry, cherry, and pepper candies. You can eat them all at once or chew one at a time. Then the next time you have a glass of wine, your taste buds will be able to discern each flavor (And the Jelly Bellys won't make your head feel like it's been hit by a 2x4 the next morning)!!

Seersucker, Schmeersucker

Good lawd, it was hotter than a Times Square Rolex last night. I had to attend a reception at the Capitol Hill Club so I broke out the seersucker jacket and the pearls. Scary I know. Apparently everyone else got the memo to wear seersucker because I saw it displayed in a myriad of ways. There were old men in seersucker suits, young men in seersucker pants, and a pregnant woman with a seersucker skirt. But everyone pulled it off in their own way.

The reception was rather lovely. But the death knoll sounded as soon as I headed to the bar. Excuse me, the OPEN BAR. 4 glasses of wine later I thought it was time for food, so we headed to Saki in AdamsMo. It could have been the pinot grigio talking, butI had some of the best sushi there. Very very fresh and flavorful.

From there we went to Millie and Al's for $1 beer night. But of course it was $1 Miller and I hate Miller. I'm not a big beer snob, but I'm not a fan of the skunky aftertaste that permeates Miller.

I soon found myself sitting at a table with 4 guy friends and "being one of the guys." Mike even said, "It's cool that we can talk about anything in front of you. You're almost like one of the guys." I took this as a compliment, even if it relegates me to friend/little sister status forever. Topics discussed included: Jon Stewart, John's Hopkins admissions, anal-rape, fuglies, liberals, beastiality, Car Talk, how much California sucks, chair dancing, and Jimi Hendrix. If it had been girls the topics would have only included boys, Jude Law, and jeans. Therein lies the differences between the sexes :)

The Capitol Fug Agenda

The Hill has just published its second annual list of the most beautiful people of Capitol Hill. It's abysmal.

I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but god damn what is being served in the Russell Building Cafeteria? Homely Home Fries? OK, I'm not trying to make fun of anyone and I certaintly would not make the list. I am one of the most self-deprecating people you will ever meet. There are a few pretty girls on this list.I was just hoping for a more impressive showing. I hope readers from outside DC/VA/MD understand that this list is a specific place in D.C. and is not indicative of the rest of the area. I will however give credit to the Hill for the top 10 choices and choosing foxy Barack Obama who I have already stated my affinity for.


50 Most Beautiful People Of Capitol Hill (The Hill)

Turd Ferguson Called - He Wants His Name Back

First of all, I'm tired of hearing about Karl "Pillsbury Dough" Rove. He's guilty. Slap him on the hand like all the others. But apparently Karl has a nickname that some newspapers call offbeat: Turd Blossom.

Apparently Bush gave Rove this nickname while on the campaign trail, but mainstream media did not really pick up on it. Gary Trudeau, creator of the Doonesbury comic strip, referenced Rove's nickname in a recent comic. Some newspapers throughout the country have chosen to pull the syndicated comic because "it was in bad taste". Good thing Bush didn't reveal Rove's college nickname: The Uranus Rover.


Some pull 'Doonesbury' over Rove moniker (CNN)

Attached at the Dick

During my recent trip to the beach, one of my acquaintances would not stop talking about her boyfriend. Every conversation somehow found its way back to him. This acquaintance is a lovely girl but she just doesn’t get it. I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND DURING MY WHOLE VACATION.

I’m not bitter (famous last words!) but have you nothing else to offer besides the banal ruminations on how you are convinced your BF is cheating or how long you coo-coo to each other on the phone?

I know that love is wonderful and it can change your life in unexpected ways. I should be so lucky. But there is clearly a difference between sharing that you are in a loving, caring relationship and BECOMING A COMPLETE VOID OF A PERSON because you are caught-up in togetherness.

This syndrome is called Attached at the Dick. Girls who suffer from this can often be found not-so-slyly dropping in references to visiting said BF’s parents or what their children might look like. Don’t even get me started on the countless references to pastel bridesmaid dresses. BARF. All of you are sounding like a brainwashed marginally cute film actress.

This hits close to home because my good friend Loo, who I adore and wish all the happiness in the world, has been suffering from Attached at the Dick since November. I barely see her anymore and she often talks of moving with her BF next year. Her head is in the clouds and EVERY conversation is about her BF. I called her out once because she said something that was really condescending towards single people. She acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about, and it’s possible she really didn’t because she is so firmly up her BF’s ass that no amount of Kentucky lard could get her out. I’m afraid there is no hope for her. I hope they don’t break up, because then she would be a shell of a person and I would hate to say “I-Told-You-So” even though it’s the truth.

My call to action is for ladies (and gents) to try and reach a happy medium when showcasing your wonderful relationships. Please be nice to the single gals like myself who haven't got it all figured out just yet.

The battle of Singles vs. Togethers will rage on, beating tirelessly upon the craggy rocks that border the sea of love......

Out of the Sea, Wish I Could Be, Part of Your World......

I had a wonderful weekend in Nags Head, NC with my roommate and some other random people, including a girl I went to high school with who I did not know would be on the trip! (Now I'm back at work..grrr). The weather was HOTT. We had 8 girls and 3 very lucky boys crammed into the lil beach house. And there was only 1 INDOOR SHOWER. That made for some very interesting "Oops-I-Didn't-Hear-You-Knock" moments. Next door there were two cute boys from Richmond who unfortunately brought along their very creepy Dad who kept hitting on all of us and offering Natty Light. No thanks Grandpa! But the boys created a make-shift beer pong/flip cup mecca that proved to be invaluable. The amount of drinking that commenced was daftly reflected in the number of times I pole-danced at Kelly's ;)

My favorite part of the beach was trying to boogey-board and body-surf, neither of which I have done before. I guess I've always been scared of drowning, or worse, wiping out and waking up underneath the sea in the clutches of Ursala and doomed to a lifetime of singing "Part of Your World." But it was so exhilarating to catch a wave, even if it was just a small one.

A few popular quotes from the trip:

"Eww he's wearing a speedo!"

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and DRUNKJKNK" (extra consonants added to show full effect)

"I got my crabs from Dirty Dicks, Allison. What's your excuse?"

"Just remember, you will float...or at least those nice ta-tas will!"

Beachy Keen

I received an invitation earlier this week to stay at a friend's beach house this weekend. I will be gone Thur-Sun and I anticipate that this will be a fun time. My roommate is also coming, and it will be a good chance to bond over shrimp and sand.





When I made the decision to go to the beach, I headed straight to the library to get some good reads. I wanted something interesting, though not too heavy that I would need to break out McKeon's Theory of the Novel in order to approach it. Here are my selections (if anyone has read these please let me know what you thought!).

Ella Minnow Pea - By Mark Dunn (here's a hint: sound it out)

"A progressively lipogrammtic epistolary fable"

Basically a love letter to those who love wordplay and the English language. Its a fascinating story of a town that is slowly starting to ban letters of the alphabet. Starting with Z, the town's inhabitants must learn to write and communicate in new and creative ways to avoid using banned letters. The story unfolds through letters that are hilarious and inventive. I've gotten to page 50 and I'm hooked. *I may end up finishing this before I even hit the beach.


My other selections:

Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood (Loved Blind Assassin and The Handmaid's Tale)
The Known World - Edward P. Jones

I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful weekend!! Ciao!


Seafoam and Daiquiri Playlist:

Sublime - Doin' Time
Husky Rescue - Summertime Cowboy
The Sundays - Summertime
Led Zepplin - The Ocean
The Beach Boys - The Warmth of the Sun
Oasis - Live by the Sea
Ocean Colour Scene - Riverboat Song
Nine Black Alps - Over the Ocean
PJ Harvey - Seagulls
Bob Dylan - High Water
Seals and Croft - Summer Breeze
G. Love and Special Sauce - Cold Beverage
Frank Sinatra - Blue Skies
Pulp - David's Last Summer
The Doves - Catch The Sun

An Open Letter To Me

Dear VP of Dior,

So recently I've noticed you moping around and not quite knowing what to do with yourself. Perhaps the summertime gaiety has rendered you hopelessly restless. Maybe you should join a kayaking club..oh wait what a stupid idea because I know you hate outdoorsy stuff. Maybe attend more live concerts? Apply for a new job? Volunteer? My point is that this is the time of your life where you will have the most energy and most verve. Please do not forget that you can contribute something to this world, no matter how small. All that energy spent on asshats and douchebags who don't care about your feelings could probably be put towards finding a cure for cancer or something. Remember how you used to write ridiculously long-winded stories in grade school and you were embarrassed to show anyone until you realized that you got A's on all your writing assignments and some of your stories were good.... maybe you should pick up a pencil and see what majestic things you might have hidden inside. Hell, maybe what you write will stink, like your ill-fated poems in the 10th grade after you fell in love with Greg who had that awful cello-playing girlfriend. But it's worth a try. Remember how you felt when you saw the sun set over the Ponte Vecchio, or Matt's face in the morning? Please capture that for me.

Dually yours,

VP of Dior

P.S. - And please, for the love of god, stop eating Ramen when you are drunk. Nothing good can come from it.

Bush to America: Na Na Na Na Na Na

Today Bush announced that at a press conference scheduled for 9 pm tonight he will voice his choice for the replacement of O'Connor on the Supreme Court. According to CNN, "Bush said that he has considered a variety of people, and 'I'll let you know when I'm ready to tell you who it is.' " Na Na Na Na Na Na Na. You poopy-head! Well let's just hope he doesn't, erm, go down the chain of command when making the decision.



Bush to announce Supreme Court choice - (CNN)

*This pic has clearly been photo-shopped. Please do not spam me with your Bush propaganda*

Hot Child Summer In the City...

While I was on the elliptical last night, a great episode of the Simpsons was on. Springfield was going through a heat-wave, which then created riots all over town, complete with Otto carrying off a painting of Guernica. A butterfly simply burst into flames, it was so hot. A few highlights:

Homer substituting the word pizza several times in "Radar Love."

Chief Wiggum: Why aren't you in school?
Ralph: My teacher says she gives up.
Chief Wiggum: Me too son, me too.

Fat Tony rolling around town to the Sopranos theme song and glueing cotton balls to ferrets to pass off as poodles.

Homer: OK, who's with me??
Dr. Hubbard: I can't. I have a lot of living to do. I just discovered Thai food.

Of course I thought about the current weather in D.C. after seeing this episode. Everyone's talking about how hot it is all the time. But honestly folks, its summer in D.C. I really don't expect anything else besides 100% humidity all the time. I also don't expect my hair to stay straight after 10 AM. And I don't expect riots to occur, although it would be kinda sweet to loot Cakelove or Intermix. God I love D.C.

Cast of Characters

I am not a player. I just crush a lot. It seems that I am currently juggling a few boy toys. This was brought to my attention after I told Loo that I made out with our mutual friend Malibu Ken Friday night, and a week prior had made out with the Gopher. She asked me how I was juggling all these boys, and I realized that emotionally I have been a little screwed up from this and unsure if any of these boys might turn into relationships. And none of them have tried to woo me, which I think would be pretty damn cool because I deserve it. So here is the current rundown. For the record I will state that I have only had sex with two of the boys listed - Mr. M3 one month ago, and Matt, whom I last hooked up with in May 2004 .

Malibu Ken: So named because of hs luxurious blonde hair. And his ridiculously built body. He is probably the most attractive of the bunch. He is a friend of Loo's and I have known him since October. Could qualify points for trying to woo me, since we have gone on a few outings and he pays for everything. He bought me a stuffed panda when we went to the zoo, and he compliments me a lot. Friday night, we went to see Wedding Crashers and afterwards shared our first kiss. It was rather nice. But now I'm afraid that I will be the one getting hurt if anything develops. Relationship potential: 6 out of 10 Malibu Dream Houses. Our sexual tension is near-explosive. Dealbreaker: His last girlfriend was a disastrous affair and I think he is still not over her :(

J: Have known him since November. Mostly emails and phone calls, besides the ocasional get together for a drink or watch a movie. Very tall, blonde, and attractive. Our chemistry is great - I could see us making a great team. Both of us quote Zoolander like it's our job. I crush on him more because he is unattainable (has a GF). Unfortunately I still have yet to get a response to my lame email I sent after an akward night with him. Relationship potential: 4 out of 10 Piano Key Neckties. I could see myself being with him longterm, and frankly that scares me. Dealbreaker: That pesky out-of-state- girlfriend of his. And he attended UVA ;)

Mr. M3: Met him in May at a place "where dreams are made." Yes, Club Jumbo Slice in AdamsMo. He is tall, Italian-looking, and handsome. His place in Cleveland Park is fab and he is very into arts and cars. The hook-ups were nice, but not mind blowing. We have good phone conversations (when he decides to pick up his phone). Started out strong, but fizzled fo shizzle after 3 weeks. Consistenly does not pick up the phone and makes excuses as to why he can't go out. Relationship potential: 1 out of 10 Jumbo Slices. He's just not that into me. I get it now. Dealbreaker: Borderline homosexual tendencies include over-grooming and effiminate hand gestures.

The Gopher: No real reason for the nickname, besides his penchant for hitting on anything with a hoo-ha and his affinity for golf. (Golf=Gopher). He is my good friend Mara's roomie. We have now made out twice, and both times I slept over in his bed fully-clothed. I refused to take my clothes off and insisted we rock it "8th grade style". He did try his hardest to take my pants off but I informed him I was wearing my steel chastity belt. Gopher has a reputation for hooking up with girls and then never speaking to them again, so I thought retaining some self dignity was in order. I think it has worked because I can still go over to Mara and Gopher's house without any awkwardness. Relationship potential: 1.5 out of 10 Driver Clubs. Dealbreaker: Although he is 25 years old, his maturity level is on par with that Andy Milonaukous hambone. Gopher once called me prude - he obviously does not know me very well!

Matt: Oh my sweet sweet Matt. How you have ruined me for the rest of the male population. Nothing compares 2 U. I met Matt freshman year. We hooked up 3 of the 4 years in college, and he broke my heart. Matt is a friend of a friend who basically didn't want to officially be with me. We lived about 1 hour apart, which to him meant that having a romantic relationship was going to be incredibly difficult. I haven't seen Matt in a 1 and 1/2 years. We still speak weekly. We have spent countless hours on the phone, and Matt knows me like no one else. He is the only boy I've ever felt comfortable farting in front of (I'm sure that's one of the reasons he likes me). Looking back, getting too involved with him in college could have been bad because I actually did enjoy my freedom to meet other guys and have fun. Would I have traded that to be his girlfriend? Of course. Would I marry him in a heartbeat? Double yes. But things are different now and as I grow older I know Matt and I will always be the best of friends. Will I be able to sit through his nuptials if gets married? No. Will I ever get over him? Doubtful. *Sigh* Relationship potential: 4 out of 10 Heartbreak Hotels. Keep the hope alive, man. Dealbreaker: His unwillingness to openly say how he feels about me and the fact he currently lives 3 hours away
:(

Wedding Crashers

Love this movie. Love it. Go and see it if you get a chance. You can rant and rave about how Vince and Owen aren't really acting and its just sophomoric humor, but this movie kept me laughing a good 1 hour into it.

The chemistry between Vince and Owen is undeniable and believable. There is a scene where Owen's character tells Jeremy (Vince) that he loves him. And Jeremy replies with a manly, "I love you too" between bites of pancake. AWWWW. The dialogue is fun and quirky throughout the film.

Another reason to love the film is that it was shot on location in D.C. Its been awhile since I've seen a movie that made D.C.'s locale look this good. Nice shots of the monuments and Potomac of course, but also some shots in Union Station I believe, and the National Cathedral where the Treasurer's daughter gets married. Christopher Walken plays the Treasurer, and I wish he was utilized more in this film. Although it's kinda nice to not be totally creeped out by Walken in this role.

Now let's take a moment to revel in Vince Vaughn. I cannot say enough about how he steals so many scenes in so many movies (Old School, Swingers, Be Cool). It's not just what his lines are in the scene, it's how he delivers it. His personality and humor definitely make him attractive and one of my fave comedic actors.

Lifestyles of the Bitch and Shameless

I have no shame. I broke down and emailed J, venting about the awkard non-kiss that occurred last week between him and I. I admit that I am over-analyzing this, but sometimes you just want to vent. The problem with the male mind is that some of you assume that you can come to a tidy conclusion and solve the problem, but sometimes that's not what a girl needs. In this case, I feel super confused about what happened, but the cloud hanging over me has more to do with the fact that he won't break up with his girlfriend. And I can't seem to really express what I need. Therefore, I write silly convuluted emails like this:

July 14, 2005 12:20 PM:
"I need to vent about something. I really enjoyed hanging out with you and watching the shining. (and yes i realize its red rum.) However, I hope you weren't thinking I was trying to diss you when you tried to kiss me. I was just caught off guard....I just felt uncomfortable because you put me in the position of a homewrecker so to speak - which I am not, despite what you might have heard ;) It sucks because you know all about how I've been dicked around by guys recently so I'm very leery of these kinds of situations. *sigh* And it sucks because it's not the right timing for you and I think you are awesome and adorable and you and I would make a great team. And I would want to make out with you all the time. And you have great arms. OK I'll stop now..... I just wanted to get all that off my chest. Thanks for reading my blabbering mess. "

I have yet to get a response back :/

DC Blogs Shoutout

I just wanted to say thanks to KOB on DC Blogs for giving my blog a shoutout. I should have linked to it when it was originally posted last week, but I was in a Tequila induced haze, followed by a bout with scurvy (I thought I could cut calories by not having lime with my margaritas, and then I got scurvy. I've learned my lesson!)

DC Blogs - July 7, 2005

I would like to take a moment to express my sympathies to the family of David Haines, the legendary news man at WPGC, who died this week.

When I woke up today and drove to work, something was definitely missing. Ever since I moved here 12 yrs ago, the best way to start your Friday off was with David Haines's "Burnt Toast and Coffee Time" and him yelling "IT'SS FRIIIIIIIDAAAAAYYYYYY." You will be missed.

Attached by August

My birthday is in August, and I was thinking about throwing a shindig for friends to come and party. Then I decided it would be nice to have a significant other to have by my side during the festivities. This got me thinking about the many campaigns I've run this year - notably "Fucked by February" and "Ass in April". Well, February was not a successful month, and I got a little bit o' ass from Psycho Bethesda Chris (seriously DO NOT date people from MD), but nothing to write home about.

So it's time for another campaign - "Attached by August." "ABA" is different because it aims to actually find a boyfriend and do it quickly a la "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" (but without all the drama and Carly Simon singing). I'm usually too busy to worry about not having a boyfriend, but it would be kinda nice for the summer. Seriously, does anyone think that can happen in DC, this cesspool of narcissism and bad pleated khakis?? If being attached is not an option, then it can be modified to "Ass by August." Just straight up action with no real hopes of a relationship. I am certaintly not a slut, but times are hard my friend. I don't have a slew of ex-es or friends with benefits, so this would probably require being set up by a friend. I am definitely not planning on going to a random bar and picking someone up. Here I present the pros and cons:
Attached By August
Pros: Guaranteed cuddle time, flowers, sweet kisses on the forehead, holding hands at Eastern Market, finally get to put birth control to use
Cons: No freedom to hunt for boys at Tom Tom, possibility of less-hot sex and more love-making (ewww that word is so '70s), gratuitous PDA





Ass in August
Pros: Hot sex on a platter, bona fide stress relief, no PDA, getting to say the word Luvah, finally get to put birth control to use.
Cons: Less cuddle potential, no flowers, no kisses on the forehead :(








Let's hope "Attached by August" campaign is successful! And stay tuned for details on "Orgasm by October" :)

Worst.Pick-up.Line.Ever.

Last night I got a chance to catch up with my friend and sorority sista-4-life, Mara, who just back from a sweet vacation in Nice, France. She lives in Cap Hill so we decided to head out to the usual haunts - Cap Lounge, Hawk N Dove, Pour House, etc. We arrive at Cap Lounge and I hadn't even flipped my Corona over to dissipate the lime before I see a guy leering at me. It's nice to be noticed, but I couldnt decide if he was cute....He came over and introduced himself as Bob from Minnesota. Great, another transplanted Midwesterner. But he gave good conversation and he is in the same field as I am. Everything is going swell, until this exchange occurs:


Bob: Um, you see that buddy of mine over there. Well he's very high up in the government ranks and he has this thing he invited me to. I need a date. You wouldn't be interested in attending a state dinner tomorrow night?

Me: Uh, excuse me a state dinner?

Bob: Yeah, I mean I don't really know the details but I would love to take you.

Me: Even though you just met me 15 mins ago...Sure. That would be great.....do you know where and when? I mean, what am I going to wear?????

Bob: Well....I mean I don't 100% for sure know that we will go. We're kinda on standby. Last time we went to one of these it was in a small room somewhere in the State Department and we only went in because someone cancelled or something like that. So I guess we have a 80% chance of going. But you should still come.

Me: I don't want to not make plans with friends tommorrow and then not go to the dinner.

Bob: Well if we don't go we can just go get coffee and dinner. I would really love to get coffee with you. Perhaps we should not plan on going to this dinner and get coffee instead.

Me: Uh....yeah...come to think of it I may already have dinner plans.....here's my card give me a call.....uh..um...gotta run. Call me!! (frantic running to the bathroom)


OK, for starters, this guy was drunk and tried to pull the 'ol state dinner line. Only in freakin DC. Do not start off by trying to impress me with your friend's high government job (which is so cliche) and then switch completely and try to bogart my evening. If you wanted to get coffee, you should have just asked. Then, to get my hopes up for a second that I could get all dressed up and eat off of Clinton era china was mean. And these state dinners are rather formal and require RSVPs and what-not. You can't just show up in an Oscar de la Renta dress with pearls and tell them "a friend of this irish guy from Minnesota" invited you.

So when I get to work this morning I notice 3 missed calls on my work #. A number I don't recognize appears 3 times between 10:30 PM and 12AM. A quick scan of the cranial area code roledex confirmed it was a Minnesota number, so drunk Bob must have called my work # that's on my business card. too bad I wasn't at work at 12AM jackass. I called the # back. Now its almost 5 PM and no call from him. Maybe I'm being pretentious? Maybe he found another girl to take? I would pay to see that poor girls face as she's sitting all dolled up inside a Starbucks and sucking on a Caramel Machiato.

Wacktose Intolerant

Normally I am polite to people, even if they are annoying and lame. But lately I am more wacktose intolerant than ever. I just don't have time for wackness in general. Here are some fine examples from this weekend:

Friday: I was feeling tired, so decided to stay in. Then J IMs me to come over and watch a movie. J is someone I've known since November. But we never hang out because he has a long-distance GF and thus, nothing physical has happened between him and I. I am not happy about this because J is totally my type and there is enough sexual tension between us to fill Kirstie Alley's bra cup size. J and I would make a super team. So I go over and we watch The Shining and before you know it we are cuddling on the couch. OK, a little touching is fine but I was not the aggressor here. Then out of know where he goes in for the kill and tries to kiss me. WAHHH???!? YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. And even though you tell me you are not happy with the relationship, you are too pussy to break up with her. Fine, I'm not a homewrecker, but you know, I live 1.5 miles from you and you could be having sex every night. But no, J decides to stay with this girl. I don't get it. Am I that awful that he would rather date a girl hundreds of miles away? I definitely pulled away and did not kiss him or try to later. I don't know if this was his way of testing out if we would be compatible or he was just feeling lonely, but either way it was totally disrespectful to me and his GF. Totally wack. And I haven't talked to him since. I just don't have the time or energy to devote to boys like this who don't know what they want and therefore think they can be greedy. Now my heart is more confused about this than ever. Total wack eclipse of the heart.

Saturday: Had to go to a work conference..on a Saturday. Too wack for words. Then Loo calls me and invites me to a cool party in Arlington. Too bad her wack roomie S-Lo the Complainer had to come along. Once again she goes out in a social setting and looks sour and disinterested in anything going on. She beelines for the food table and stakes out the scene from there the ENTIRE night. We all want to go to a bar afterwards, and she of course declines because she's "too tired." More like "too wack" to hang out.

Sunday: Also on Saturday my roommates had people over for a small BBQ. I know everyone was pretty hungover on Sunday, but neither one of the couple who lives downstairs got off of their asses to clean. My cool roomie K, who didn't even know most of the people at the BBQ, cleaned up all day. And still, no one bothered to vacuum the carpet that contained remnants of Lays and god knows what else. The couple I live with seriously sucks the common sense out of everything. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES YOU PIGS. NOT TO MENTION YOUR SISTER HAS BEEN STAYING AT OUR HOUSE FOR FREE THE ENTIRE SUMMER AND DID NOT PICK UP A FINGER TO CLEAN. DISGUSTING. WACK. LAME. ASSHATS. THE LOT OF YOU.

Music for the Masses

I recently started buying CDs again. It's kinda fun and exciting to have a physical thing to hold that guarantees 70 minutes of fun ( ok maybe there are a few other electronics that can provide the same pleasure....). I'm not a music snob, but I definitely am not one to hop on the hipster bandwagon (Hellooo does anyone remember the Bravery??) Anywho, my latest obsession is Maximo Park, a dandy lil band from England that know how to write damn-good songs. Although they sound like a lot of other new wave Brit bands that I like (Bloc Party, Franz, etc), something about this CD is damn refreshing. Tracks like "Apply Some Pressure" and "Postcard of a Painting" have an undenied energy that reminds me of early Smiths mixed with a dash of Police.

My other fave CDs of 2005 so far are Bloc Party (amazinggg live), Gorillaz, Benzos, Common, Doves. And here are songs you should buy/download for that mini iPod with your initials engraved on the back:

"All the cool kids are smoking out back" Playlist

22-20's - I'm the One
The Walkmen - The Rat
Benzos - You're Forever an Hourglass
Bloc Party - Banquet
M.I.A. - 10 Dollar
Louis XIV - Finding Out True Love Is Blind
Gorillaz - DARE
Tegan and Sara - Walking With A Ghost
Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure
Tears - Refugees (former members of Suede)
De Nova Dahl - All Over Town
The Gun Shys - Easy on the Eyes
Brazillian Girls - Don't Stop

Praying for Peace

I always fall asleep with my TV on, usually on NBC. I wake up to the weirdly perky Katie Couric and surly Matt Lauer most mornings, with a side of Al Roker wishing he was somewhere else eating a Hostess cake. But this morning I awoke to Couric reporting the news of the attacks on London. My heart hurts for what has happened. This past week has been relatively jubilant for London, with Wimbledon, Live 8, and getting the 2012 Olympics. And now this. A completely horrific and terrifying organized act of terrorism. I have a friend doing an internship in London and I hope she is OK. I also hope Americans do all they can to reach out to the people of London. My prayers go out to London and England. Let us not forget how supportive they were when 9/11 happened.

When I had the pleasure of going to Italy last year, I became aware of the PACE campaign. This campaign supported by Italians was a campaign for peace, and citizens hung PACE flags from their balconies. It was an amazing sight to see such solidarity for peace in their nation. Here is an example of a flag:

I wish Americans could take on this campaign and pray for peace. We should pray for the lives of all people from Baghdad to Indonesia to Madrid who have been attacked by terrorists.

And you have to admire Tony Blair for being as eloquent as ever and showing how class and decorum go a long way when getting your point across:

"They will never succeed in destroying what we hold dear in this country and in other civilized nations throughout the world," Blair said before leaving and flanked by fellow G-8 leaders, including President Bush. "We shall prevail and they shall not."

Terrorist Attacks on London (MSNBC)

Bush Declares "Law & Order" as Guiding Light

Today Bush announced that he has selected former Tennessee Senator Fred "I miss Angie Harmon on L&O" Thompson to guide Bush's Supreme Court Justice nominee through the Senate. You may know Thompson as Dist. Atty. Branch on L&O and The Hunt For Red October (mmm Sean Connery...). He is an actor by day and politcal guru by night.

What next? Pegging Allison Janey to guide the next White House Chief of Staff?

Bush picks guide for Supreme Court nominee (MSNBC)

Seeking a Certified Skank

While taking a "break" from work I came across this Poet Laurete who posted on CL for a "Skank Friendshp":

"When I say certified you must have attended and recieved a diploma from The Institute of Skank Development. I hear they are the best of the skank educational institutions. You must sleep with many men via CL, the locals bars and pubs, nighclubs, university and church etc. Moreover, you must always use the line, I "never do this". But "I felt right about you". Your makeup must be plastered on with a paint brush, jeans too tight and low enough to show your lower waist tattoo. Your tan must be closely related to the color orange and finally, your vocabulary must include terms, phrases or designations like, "that was weird," "I had a stalker once", "I'm a hottie and you know it" .....Please have your notarized certificate available when we meet. Wear skankish perfume and be ready to part-tay. Please no haters on my desire to hang out with a SKANK"

He heard that The Institute of Skank Development was the best??!?! Not so fast...I hear the graduates of the University of Texas (Austin) really know how to skank it up!

Seeking a Certified Skank for Friendship (CL)

Only In DC - Hottest Senator

Seriously folks, we need to get out more or just vote for hotter senators. HE DOESN'T HAVE AN UPPER LIP. And why couldn't Obama count? He is soo doable. This is all we got??



Election '05: Hottest Senator (excluding Obama)

Longest Post About Nothing in the History of Blogger

Although it was relaxing to have a 3-day weekend, it was marred by Mr. M3's lack of excitement to hang out with me. I think I might wash my hands clean of this relationship... Here's the weekend rundown:

Friday: The night started out chill enough, w/wine at my place with my girl N. She's very "exotic" looking and the fellas love her, so I knew it would be a fun night. Even the cab driver on the way to Local 16 was hitting on her. Local 16 was great w/ lots of hot guys, including the uber-hipster bartenders. N however wanted to dance....so that meant Adams Mo! We hoof over there to Tom Tom and danced HARDCORE. I spotted a guy to dance with who was superfun until.... he leans over and says, "You're cute...real cute. But I bet you already know that." OK, seriously WTF? All I did was smile and dance with the guy and he thinks I'm stuck on myself. I politely thanked him for dancing, walked to the bathroom and quickly started cursing his name to the Rock Creek Gods.

Speed up to 3AM outside the legendary Jumbo Slice where I spot a handsome young dude. Like, really my type with dark hair and blue eyes. I tried my best to give him the "come talk to me-cuz i'm a pussy(cat!)-and dont wanna make the first move" eye but no dice. Finally I went 8th grade style and walked over to his friend to see if the Mr. Hottie Jumbo Slice was interested. His friend was very enthusiastic about hottie being interested in me, but when I talked to Mr. Hottie Jumbo Slice himself he did't seem very intrigued by me. He excused himself to go stand in line for pizza. So I was totally dissed for a pepperoni slice. I guess it just wasn't my night.
Saturday: Lazy lazy morning. Finally got up and exercised. Very very proud of myself for running the Custis trail, or as I like to call it the "Cussin trail" because I spend most of the run cursing and bitching about how I hate running. Around 4 PM got chinese food - yummy shrimp lo mein. Then I broke down and called Mr. M3 who did not call back, of course. So I decided to make it a me night and watch Napolean Dynamite (which is totally overrated).
Sunday: Exercised again (yay!), went grocery shopping, and went to Target. There is no such thing as "running into Target real quick to pick up one thing". I spent $50 on a book, dvd, and cute tank top. Lucky for me my former co-worker J called to invite me to a party on his rooftop. So I called my friend S-Lo the Complainer to invite her. S-Lo is the kind of girl I can only take in small doses. She complains about everything and is a total sourpuss when we go out. She goes out and thinks she's too cool for school and doesn't have to talk to anyone or meet new people. So why am I still friends with her??.....

So S-Lo says her co-worker El wants to go have dinner and drinks in Georgetown. Cool. So we go to waterfront and S-Lo insists we wait for a table outside. Typical S-Lo. She has this thing about having to sit outside or a bar must have a rooftop/outdoor part. Anyway we sit at Nick's Riverside and have possibly the worse service so far this year. Waitress clearly did not care about what we wanted, so of course I only tipped her about 15%. This is why I avoid G-Town like SARS. Then we head to J's apt on 13th and U. Sweet sweet apt and nice friends of his that I meet. I meet a cool guy from Philly and we exchange numbers because he clearly goes out and drinks every night of the week and I think he would be able to keep up with me! But of course S-Lo and El promptly go sit in a corner and make no attempts to talk to anyone, even though on 2 occassion's J's friends tried to introduce themselves. Those girls are seriously worthless.

So here's the drama. I call Mr. M3 to see what he's doing and he gives me the standard: "Hangin with my bro." OK fair enough he's with family. He says he's not sure if he's going out but his brother is trying to drag him to Adams Mo. I tell him I'm going to Local 16 (again) so perhaps he could come there. I tell him I'll call back. At this point its about 11 PM, so he should just get up and come out, at least to see me, right?!? I call him back and he says he's tired and not going out. Now, I'm not one to invite myself over to places, but why the bloody hell couldn't he have invited me over after his brother left? I would have been more than willing to leave S-Lo the Complainer behind and hang with him. I bring this up and he asks why I'm making this "difficult". OK, final straw. I hang up on him cuz he totally deserved it. Philly boy looked at me and said, "Ya know that guy is a tool if he can't come meet you out cuz if I had a cute girl like you call me, I would be out the door in a hot minute." Thank you Philly boy. Damn straight.
Monday: Happy Fuckin 4th of July. Sat in bed until 1 PM. Eventually work up the strength to walk the 10 yards to my neighbor's house for a BBQ. Came home around 8:30PM and still no call from Mr. M3. Decide not to bother with watching fireworks and end up reading (total nerd-style) because who wants to deal w/ tourists and evacuation plans.

Seriously, that is the worse idea ever - cause faux mass hysteria in downtown by restricting entrance/exit to the city. So I doze off and....ring ring its Mr. M3 calling at freakin 10:30PM. I don't answer. He calls again at 11:30PM and 12AM. I am still up but ignnore his calls. I think I need to cool my BCBG heels when it comes to him. I've made myself too available... but I really don't like to play games. Perhaps I will call him back tonight. Or maybe I'll call Philly boy and see what he's up to....

Does this mean no Grease 3?

Oh Sandra Day O'Connor is retiring! All over DC Ann Taylor clad judicial clerks are weeping and sacrificing their string of pearls at the altar of a Sandra shrine.




O'Connor Announces Retirement (MSNBC)

While my Jumbo Slice Gently Weeps

So I started off the weekend right by going out with my girl Loo. I've known her for 6 yrs since high school and haven't gotten to hang out with her in awhile. She is currently suffering from attached-at-the-dick syndrome. So we started at Cantina Marina in SW. Very chill and Coronas for $3 all.night.long. The views on the waterfront were spectacular, but we soon tired of the aromatic surroundings provided by the Potomac River and headed to Adams Morgan.

The Reef was the destination, and it did not disappoint. It has such a lovely rooftop bar. However, I ended up ordering the worst sour apple martini I've ever pursed my lips too. At the bar we sat next to a very cute guy who was very drunk. Flirting insued. Then he made a "drop". Like a totally obvious reference to something in his life just to spite me (clearly). He "dropped" a reference to his girlfriend. Why the hell are you sitting here flirting with me, you scumbag!?? Stop wasting my time because I could have already been on the next guy by the time you carefully positioned your hipster hat to the side. GAH! So Loo and I concluded our evening with the requisite Jumbo Slice.

The night would have been perfect if my boy toy had decided to stop giving me the shaft and come out for a few drinks. We shall call him Mr. M3 because he is obsessed with getting his new car. I met Mr. M3 in Adams Morganin May. Right outside Jumbo Slice. It must be love. So we didn't hook up that night (that would have been so freshman year!) but exchanged numbers and started "hanging out". I'm afraid I fell into that trap too easily. "Hanging out" is not dating. I have put my foot down on this. I insisted he take me on an actual date. His response: "Yeah we could do that". Um, excuse me!??! Where is the oompph here?? Obviously there is none from his end but I like him. He just doesn't seem to want to "hang out". And his excuse is : "We'll your always busy." Big bloated bullshit right there. I'm only busy because I make plans to avoid thinking about how I'm not hanging out with you. I always want what I can't have :( Like right now I want Chinese food, but I'm stuck at work....mmm.....spring rolls....

A Sign of the Apocalypse - First Posting

"Since everyone is jumping off the pen-to-paper-old-school-writing bridge and creating an online blog, does that mean you have to as well?"...Well I guess this means yes... all the cool kids are doing it!

This is my first posting and I'm super excited to throw my two-cents in on the goings on in the nation's capital (although I'm sure no one will read it). I'm not gonna front - I live in Arlington. Yes "FArlington" as my new boy toy likes to call it. But just because I cross a bridge to get my crack, doesn't mean that I can't share my experiences. I am 2 legit 2 quit.

I am also a complete idiot when it comes to the "internets" and formatting, so bear with me.

A little about me: 23, female, totally going to marry Jude Law (fuck that skinny Sienna girl!), love love love to go out and meet new people, single (but with a few key players from the past and present involved), and currently obsessed with mascara, spaghetti, all things Italian, Chappelle show, and avoiding my awful roommates. (more on that later)